yellowdoorknob

Be angry

2012-01-21T21:00:00.001+09:00

"First they came for the Ahmadis and the Shias,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't an Ahmadi or a Shia.
Then they came for the queers,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a queer.
Then they came for the members of GKI Yasmin,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Christian.
Then they came for the atheists,
and I didn't speak out because I'm a believer.
Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak out for me."

- Niemöller, re-written.

I am not who you should be worried about. I am not who you should take offense from. Your God is not less great because I don't believe in him.

You don't think your God is any less great because one billion people are Catholics. You don't think your God is any less great because the Hindus worship Shiva Brahma and Vishnu. You don't think your God is any less great because the Japanese never bow to a distant Arab land.

So no, your God is not any less great even if I wrote a Facebook status that claims otherwise.

So chill.

But if you are so keen in winning back my worship, there is one thing you can do: be angry.

Be angry when a man is mobbed for voicing his thought. Be angry when the Ahmaddiyah and the Shia fear for their life. Be angry when the congregation of GKI Yasmin are forced to worship their God from the sidewalk.

Be righteously angry.

Because docility repels me.

Show me you can tolerate others with disagreeing view. Show me you are compassionate to the weak. Show me that you, as your prophet before you, are not legitimizing those who are forcing their minority view.

Much less shoving it down the throats of the helpless few, bullied and intimidated into conformance.

Then even if you don't have the answers to all my questions, I will hold you in renewed respect. Your lessons I will listen with open ears, with less prejudice than I would otherwise hold.

And perhaps that would even make your God looks upon you with pride.

The morbid gift and the religious leap

2012-01-19T13:30:00.000+09:00

A thought popped in to my head.

So understandably, I groaned. Because I knew then I wouldn't get any sleep. I was trying to steal a nap before the next class, you see. To compensate my diminishing nighttime sleeping hours.

So I weighed it in, remembering that the only way to get rid of an earworm is to sing it through, to complete the whole song. And then I decided to just go ahead and follow the thought-thread.
The thought was this: if I were a gift-giving person, what kind of gift would I gift a good friend whose birthday was coming? To this, my brain responded: gift card! Practical, plus, the recipient can get what she really think she wanted, irrespective of her need.

But then there's me being vain, I wanted my gift to bear the superlative: I wanted it to be the most memorable gift she received, a most treasured present. I wanted a gift that remind her of our friendship, of secrets trusted, of ideas and courage seeded.

Damned if I could think of one. And certainly gift card wouldn't cut it.

Oh, what's that? I then vaguely recalled a recently read article which elaborated why gifting electronic for christmas is only a little more than kitschy, and the best gift is often one that opens the door to new experience. A skydiving lesson, or a dancing club membership, the article proffered*.

Now we're talking. But, still, what?

At this point I was aware that that day I have skipped Intermediate Kanji class for the... sixth time? Might as well drop it for the rest of the semester. The last time I went, I ended up browsing on my iPod and wound up in a genetic mapping. Give them your sample, and your genomic information will be sequenced. For an economical price of $100 only! And you can gift it too!

Hey, gift.

Hmmmmmaybe it would be a cool gift, opening the door to know yourself further. Knowing disease risk is almost always a good thing anyway. Ah, to hell with gift, I wanted that for myself. I'd know the risks running in my family and be healthier--not unlike Pandu's avoidance of sugars in his iced teas, perhaps.

But if I'm dying, doesn't diabetes sounds boring? I mean, yaaaawn. It afflicts millions, with no personalization. I mean if we're talking cancer, there are at least a plethora of variety that cancer brings. If you're so unlucky to get a prostate cancer, at least the colonoscopy experience should give you a couple minutes' worth of stand up comic material.

Maybe my death will be gastrointestinal. Hm, that sounds like death with a dash of personality. Afterall, I am known to polish off a jar of sambel terasi abc just in one and a half day. I think I take after my father in this regard.

What was his causa mortis? I remember him being hospitalized, and I think it was something.. related to his digestive system..? Yeah I guess if your parent died when you're young, no one really bothered to explain the cause to you. Maybe I should ask my sister, see if she remembers anything.

Death. Gone and gone. To no return, because really, what proof we have for afterlife? Or even an immortal immaterial soul? Best to have your goodbyes well and proper then. And leave no regret of words left unsaid.

And I.. never said goodbye to my grandfather. I was a thousand miles away. I could do nothing in Manila.

But it's not like I'd know what to say. I am ashamed to have to admit when he was alive under my mother's care I often flinched when I had to help her clean up his bedding. I gagged at the stale urine air. I recoiled when I had to help clothing him. Those are the reason why mom is my personal hero: she took care of him well. Certainly she sighed at times, for she was only human. But she is still awesome**, my mom.

Oddly, I then found myself seeing my grandfather in a new light: I sympathize with him. The last time I went home a month before that, there had been hushed talk of how should he be buried? My grandmother who passed away six years before was buried in Catholic custom, because she was Catholic, going to mass everyweek and the whole stuff. My grandfather, on the other hand, was once a muazzin, so I was told. However, in his final years after the stroke paralysed his right side, he was no longer a practicing muslim. That alone is not surprising, really, as being a practically non-practicing muslim is par for the course for pretty much everyone. So long as you fast at Ramadhan, go to Friday prayer, and celebrate Eid, you're as muslim as the majority. Good job at being religious! Still, efforts from my aunt to make my grandfather re-acquainted with Quran was basically fruitless. And she took it with not a little visible frustration.

Of course I was on the side who worried about the welfare of his eternal soul, I had not yet abandoned religion at that time. Didn't even crossed my mind.

Maybe I'm about to put on a similar shoes my grandfather had put on. And knowing that in the end, it's not what matters.

Fuck, it's 1.15 already? I'm going to be late for the next class.

______
* maybe they don't exactly suggested that, but you get the gist.
** awesome as in awe-inspiring. not awesome as in "awesome, i'll see you at seven for KFC." Unless the chicken legs are tap dancing on a table, they are not really awesome.

Enumerating the Manila experience

2012-01-09T22:05:00.001+09:00

4 years. The first time I went to WUDC, it was held in Thailand, as the world welcomed 2008. Last month was my second time going for Worlds, and it was also my second time going to the Philippines. I did not dare to entertain any hope that it would be more like the first time around.

9 kgs. Yet away I went, armed with 9 kgs of books, clothes, and a laptop securely packed in a backpack. Two other academic deadlines were weighing on my mind, a nagging burden impossible to shrug. That's the price you pay for wasting your time, I said morosely to myself.

7300 kms. Hong Kong Express whisked us off from Kansai International Airport on a clear Tuesday afternoon. Away to Hong Kong, then to Manila. Afloat until it's nigh on midnight.

9 days. And off with a grueling start. Eyelids heavy and shoulders burdened, it was not until 4 in the morning we gained access to our rooms. To be fair, the committee was more than helpful, being promptly providing additional bus from Ninoy to Sofitel, but the weary eyes can not appreciate a comment made in jest by the LO that four more hours of travel is necessary to get to the hotel.

5 socials. Squeezed in between days of debating, what makes Worlds different is its socials. Nonetheless, I skipped German night, and arrived well after opening cocktail was concluded. It's a shame, as rumor has it that it was a mean opening cocktail indeed! But the libation in other socials was aplenty, and break night aside, they served more beers than you could care of in all socials. It was fitting, really, as San Miguel corporation was the main sponsor of the event. An interesting aside: all the finger foods during the socials was halal. This was a far cry from that Australs.

9 rounds. At the end of the year, my team won eleven vps, two fewer than my Thailand record. And nowhere near enough to break either English-as-Foreign-Language nor English-as-Second-Language. Not that we're qualified to break EFL anyway, as I was classified ESL, following WUDC 2008 language assignment. I did apply to ESL--and not EFL, mind you, unlike some individuals who chose otherwise.

654 speaks. Not an impressive record by far, but I was surprised that even this meager result was actually a full 10 point improvement from Thailand. Good grief, just how crappy I was four years ago?

0 balut. I opted not to eat balut the first time I was in Manila, and fed the one the I bought to Uphie. This time, I was genuinely curious. But having not much time to venture and procure one that actually looks edible (i.e. the fried one that seems to be less messy than the normal one), no balut for me this time around as well. The catering did offer a lot of the boiled ones during Filipino night but given that everyone who tried eating that was made into spectacle, I refrain. Tirza's disdain surely also did not help made the delicacy more appealing.

6th pair of glasses. Three short years of wearing glasses, six glasses totaled in total. One was bent after a skiing trip. One left inside a train. One washed away to the sea. One snapped. One had the screws literally fell off. And this last one had the right side lens cracked after it fell from my knee. Me and glasses, not the best pal. With this track record, the very thought of contact scares me witless.

2 jars. Therein lies the highlight of the delights. Two jars of sambal terasi abc, made available by Tirza's infinite kindness. I mean, honestly, I could probably go to Manila for this reason alone and as it were I am indebted for life to her. The fact that I have indebted my life to various individuals who ease my sambal cravings throughout my two years here notwithstanding, this was priceless. Of course, both jars were promptly polished off within the four days between my returning home to Kyoto and the writing of this post. Spicy happy tummy.

Kenapa nulis?

2011-10-30T18:36:00.002+09:00

~~Kadang-kadang~~ Sering-sering, kalau saya lagi mau nglanjutin nulis catatan perjalanan dari Tohoku kemaren, suka kebayang bakal ada orang yang nanya, "Lo ngapain Syhur nulis panjang lebar beginian kayak ada yang baca aja. Lagian catatan perjalanan kan ngebosenin, toh yang jalan-jalan elo, bukan gue."

Yang kalo saya bener-bener jujur mungkin bakal saya jawab, "Yah sesuka gw lah, toh gw nulis utamanya buat diri sendiri. Gw nyesel catatan perjalanan pertama gw dulu dari Ukraina ilang pas komputer pertama gw rusak. Kalo ditaruh di internet gini kan jadi lebih awet. Kalo lo ga mau baca juga sok lah."

Tapi paling saya jatuhnya jadi diplomatis* dan bilang, "Ya kali sapa tau sambil nulis catatan perjalanan ada orang lain yang mau jalan-jalan juga dan nemu informasi yang berguna. Kayak dulu pas gw ke Lombok sendirian, berbekal browsing dari hp mungil doang akhirnya sukses menyasarkan diri ke Kuta."

Dan kalo lagi mood jiwa sosial lagi kuat, bakal ditambahin sama, "Apalagi kegiatan jadi volunteer kan ga semua orang tahu. Dan ~~kadang~~ seringnya kegiatan volunteer itu kurang orang karena pada ga tau volunteering itu ngapain, nah kalo gw nulis catatan perjalanan gini mungkin jadi bakal lebih banyak yang tau soal volunteer dan bakal ikutan volunteer ntarnya."

Yang mungkin bakal direspon sama, "Volunteering kan intinya macul bukan? Kan kayak lo bilang lo macul di Tohoku makanya jadi item dan belang? Gue mana bisa macul."

Dan saya bakal bilang, "Ya ga semuanya macul juga kali. Kan kegiatan volunteering itu macem-macem. Ada juga yang ga pake tenaga gede macem macul dan nyekop lumpur, misalnya ngebersihin dermaga dari sampah-sampah ngapung yang kebawa air pasang dan bikin pantai kotor, atau ngebantu ibu-ibu lokal nanam bunga, atau--ini paling penting:--ngebantu ngehabisin makanan yang udah dimasakin sama orang-orang lokal."

Yang paling bakal membuat saya menerima satu toyoran di kepala plus sebutan, "Dasar perut karet."

Saya paling cuma bakal tersenyum bahagia mengingat-ngingat masa-masa bahagia dijamu warga lokal di Tohoku.

-------------------------------------
* Pfft. Dasar Jawa.

Scribbles #01

2011-10-27T08:43:00.000+09:00

Scribbled something around two months ago, which only goes to show how quick a mind can change, in which now the Problem of Evil no longer holds the prima causa.

Seven years ago

2011-10-12T20:29:00.000+09:00

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programmings to bring you this sappy and nostalgic non sequitur:

The year was 2004. The morning was always misty. The air was patently cold. There was no need to take a bath daily. Or weekly, for that matter.

Yang membuat Pak Hardja melempar lelucon kalau pintar saya ada di daki tiap kali ada yang berkomentar tentang hasil olimpiade saya.

Us five boys slept at the back room of the pannekoek house, accessible only from the back door. The archway between middle room where Rizky slept and our bedroom was barred with the help of two cupboards. The front room with the tables and sofa is where we play cards. We played mostly rummikub, 41, 51, and go fish. I remember at one point Mas Gabriel taught us how to play trump over the table in the reading room. I had not learned how to play 24, my favorite card game, at that time. I remembered we once played the equivalent of Mafia game. We did not repeat that.

I remembered the I got the upper bunk on the window side of the wall. Agung got the other upper bunk. Jaya and Evan were on the lower bunk. Hartono's bed was on the far side.

If I remember correctly, Agung inadvertently destroyed the ladder to the upper bunk on one of our last days there. Or was it me?

I remember bringing my first ever cell phone there, a then-brand new Nokia 3530. The color of the casing was blue. Hartono's phone was a Nokia 3310. Agung's was an odd-looking samsung with an external antenna.

I downloaded a prince of Persia game on my Nokia and it was a reliable time-waster whenever I wait for the next turn in the badminton court. We played badminton with borrowed rackets and nets. We got those from Mas Irfan.

The third time I was there, I got a new phone. A SonyEricsson K500i. I got that mostly because everybody else that I knew was obsessed with the latest Nokia line up. I just had to be different. At Sevastopol, I almost got my phone switched with a k700i. But this phone would be stolen at my first year in ITB.

I remembered being really into Muse's Butterfly and Hurricane. One particular song. I have no idea why.

My bedtime reading that I bring from home was a version of Shakespeare's A Comedy of Error and A Tale of Two Cities. I don't remember what they're about. What I do remember is that the book was a present from my sister.

"Congratulations for finally going abroad!" she wrote on the inside cover. It didn't really feel real, going abroad for the first time and the destination was a former Soviet country. So foreign.

There were lots of other reading materials at the observatory's reading room--National Geographic magazines, New Scientist, Science, Scientific American. There was also that one time I found a stash of old Newsweek from Clinton era and even older bound Newsweek from 1970s.

Only on rare days we actually review what we learned in class--those days mostly coincides with D-1 of the twice weekly performance review tests. On other days we were either playing cards, doing nothing, or watching Evan trying to crack mathematic olympiad-type practice test. Needless to say, they were unintelligible for me.

I remember having a class with Bu Nana, in which she told us stories about cosmology. She concluded the session with a provoking question, one that implied how insignificant earth and mankind in particular in view of the vastness of the universe. Afterward, I sent a text message to one of my friends saying that the class made me think just exactly that, our being is insignificant. He replied that I am always thinking, it came as no surprise for him. I began to understand why scientists built ivory tower at the first place.

I think the only things we observed using the antique Zeiss telescope inside the dome were a gibbous Venus in one early morning with Mas Irfan, and the double star of Alpha Centauri. That dawn session to watch Venus was a gigantic pain in the arse, though. We were sound asleep and was woken up at three am, away from the nice warm bed with plenty of blankets to embrace the coldest hour there was in Lembang.

I remember Jaya had a scope. But the scope was dwarfed (rightly) by the Bamberg and Zeiss. Even when compared to the Unitron with its early twentieth century tracking mechanism, it seemed like a mere toy.

At Frankfurt, I was outraged by the price they displayed for a simple sandwich. Four euro? Four euro? I could have eaten to death back home with that.

Our flight from Frankfurt to Kiev was delayed, leaving the team leader worrying we might not make the connection to Sevastopol. But we made it anyway and thus began ten days of gastronomical torture: the tasteless food of Europe as tasted by a boy raised in rich diet of sambel.

But I ate everything anyway, of course.

And if anything, the menu made me develop a taste for fruit yoghurt. While a glass of apple juice will forever reminds me of the Singapore-Frankfurt flight.

Our hotel in Simeiz was a decrepit piece of lodging, most probably erected when Soviet Union was in its full glory. The building had an elevator that wasn't quite working and made us resort to the staircase. Our room was on the fifth floor. It's like they know I would be spending the next four years climbing stairs to the fourth floor in Labtek III building in ITB.

It was located less then five minutes away from the waterfront, you can see the Black Sea from the front porch. This being a late summer/early autumn, we didn't see many tourists around. Not that the waterfront was a sandy beach anyway, it was more of a long sea wall with railings.

On our return, I was the only one not having anyone picking me up at Soekarno Hatta. Well aware I landed past the last train from Gambir to Jogja and having no cash to buy a plane ticket to jogja even if a flight was available, I think I was that close to breaking down. That surely would've made a very anticlimactic end of journey. Thankfully for my dignity, Mom was able to cobble an arrangement for me to spend the night at my aunt's.

For what it's worth, I was only feeling relief that somebody's target for our contingent was fulfilled. I couldn't care less who got what priz--well maybe I care a bit.

At any rate, it was a journey to be treasured. Forever.

On the road

2011-09-21T10:44:00.001+09:00

I'm on the road again. After 22 days in Kyoto, I am back on the road, this time southward.

But truth be told, I'd rather be northbound.

Last month, I went northbound twice, and they made up for the best summer ever.

If you had asked me before, I guess there's little chance I'd answer a summer pronounciated with physical work be the best summer ever; but it did.

For the first time in my life I actually wielded power tools: I drilled screws to create wood prisms (way harder than it looks), I unscrewed out the screws that once held walls together, I cranked the lever to restore the stone block back upright, I ground the edges of wall boards to smooth it out, I cut new wall boards to be installed on a warehouse. I had a crowbar that was almost an extension of my hand--deftly (if I may say so myself) pulling out the roof of a destroyed house, tearing out wall boards, pulling away the screws to make the beams usable again. And there's also caulking fun--at the expense of only my jeans, t-shirt, and baseball cap, now all stained with silicone sealant and I have no idea how to remove that.

Sure, I didn't get to play with the chainsaw. I also didn't get to drive the forklift (Sheila did that). But maybe it's a good thing--I haven't driven a car since ages and the last time I did that I sent Glagah's old kijang to a ditch. On an uphill road. Smack dab on the intersection to Bosscha observatory. So yeah, that's a good thing. And maybe I'll get to play with a chainsaw when zombie apocalypse finally arrives.

Until said apocalypse come, you shall be content with me for coming week or two describing said best summer: part two in Tohoku (now with extra five days from part one!)

You can only go further away

2011-09-10T01:06:00.000+09:00

"Remember when you read him out loud the writing on the cheap book?"
"'To be number one'? Yeah, how can I forget that? I insisted that 'one' is read as ow-nay, I was reading that using Indonesian reading key,"
"Well, you are Indonesian. A six-year old one. There was no reason to assume the phrase wasn't Indonesian,"
"Yeah, but I insisted I was right, despite him telling me that it's English, it isn't read that way, and the correct pronunciation was 'one',"
"Well, you were six years old,"

...

"Do you think he had a good command of English?"
"I think so. I mean, he certainly knew how to read 'to be number one' correctly."
"Yeah,"
"Yeah, that he did."

...

"You know, if soul is eternal, and now some 15-odd years after his death he stumbled upon this blog, do you think he'd be able to understand most of the things I write?"
"That, I'm not sure of."
"Me neither. I don't think he owned any non fiction book in English, yeah?"
"Yeah, but there were plenty of that in Arabic."
"True. I imagine his Arabic is excellent--maybe if he had visited Mecca he'd be able to converse with the local"
"That would be seriously cool. Arabic is one of the hardest language to learn, right?"
"Yeah, right there with Chinese and Japanese, I think."
"I always think of Arabic like German, with different word for feminine use and masculine use and what have you..."
"With different alphabet to boot,"
"Maybe it's more like Russian then, but instead of cyrillic alphabet you have Arabic alphabet,"
"And you write it right to left,"

...

"I remember that one time he bought a new Quran. And he read it from beginning to end to see if the publisher had made any error,"
"Oh yeah he did,"
"Did he find any error then?"
"I honestly had no idea. Maybe he did, but there's little chance the bookstore would accept his return, wouldn't they?"
"Very small chance."

...

"I wonder if he would have kept a journal in Arabic,"
"Much like you keep yours in English, you mean?"
"Yeah, something like that,"
"I think that would pretty much grant it secrecy from everyone else in the house,"
"Yeah, even now that his children are all grown up,"
"And none of us understand arabic!"
"Best that I know of Arabic is that 'wa' means 'and',"
"Doesn't give you much, does it?"
"No, it doesn't"

...

"If he had kept a journal, I wonder what would he have written on it,"
"Much like any other people's journal, I suppose. His musings or his observations--or maybe even his hopes for future you!"
"That's a little bit scary I think,"
"You fear they won't match, aren't you?"
"I don't fear so--I believe so."
"Shame."

...

"I'm actually more interested in his thoughts, in his half-coherent written rambling that he might have written in his journal."
"You're trying to look for similarities?"
"I--maybe I am. If only to find out if as my sister suspects, that we're so very different. I'm curious if the thought process would have any resemblance."
"Same process, with different results,"
"With different results,"
"You going left, your dad going right,"
"Left, and right."

...

"Does it make you sad? Going on an apparently different direction?"
"A little. But there's more to it."
"What is it?"
"It's like what Clock Opera sings, 'You can only go further away',"
"'Like it or not, you'll change',"
"'And you know you can only go further away',"

Once and For All (Live @ Maida Vale) by clockopera
...

"They do make some seriously good tunes, that, Belongings, Let Go Of The Life Boats,"
"I know,"
"But this one is so you, the doubt, the wistfulness,"
"I know,"
"All we need now is the resolution,"
"I'll need a moment for that,"
"I know."

On indignity and sex

2011-09-07T12:22:00.000+09:00

There is something undignified about sex.

Politicians fall from grace when pictures with them in unflattering light surfaced (think Weiner), or when testimonies of their questionable sexual behavior are picked up by the media (I forget the name of the politician, but there was this one politician satirized in Pearls Before Swine who employed the excuse of "I have a wide stance," on his sexual behavior in an airport's toilet).

But it is not limited only to politician. Ordinary persons are not immune to it as well. Ask the Scottish siblings who caught romping in an elevator by CCTV camera.

And then there's the time-honored profession of tavern wenches that features prominently in most fictions set in medieval age (off the top of my head, A Game of Thrones and Sir Apropos of Nothing).

So undignified the profession of exchanging sex with money that we actually coined a number of terms and phrases to refer those who are engaged in such business in a more dignified conversation. After all, it will quite often be beyond the pale to talk about wenches and whores and hoes with scholars, and calling them prostitutes still often be considered banal--the more appropriate term would be sex workers. For the sake of invoking a better social standing for the workers than what they presently are (not) enjoying from the larger society.

There is something undignified about sex, but some parts of it more than others.

"What did you do, Farid?"
"I looked in the door. They were doing it like animals."
- Crossing Over (2009)

So even more undignified that it was Farid's justification for shooting his sister and Javier Pedrosa.

But what is it exactly that make this activity undignified? If the answer is the nakedness, then the unresolved question merely changes form into what makes nakedness undignified in itself?

Yet for all its indignity, our popular culture seems to be characterized in the presentation of thinly-veiled sexual acts. Or endless pursuit of sexual encounters. Or hyper-sexualized icons. And I'm not just referring to Lady Gaga.

If art imitates life, then the sexual wont displayed in culture is a display of the society's wont. But if it is, why many bemoan it?

You know, seeing how we enjoy pointing out others' hypocrisy, maybe if there's an all-watching supra-sentient Watchmaker, the Watchmaker would make it an inevitable destiny that mankind should never escape hypocrisy. I'd wager mankind's hypocrisy will be offered as premium entertainment channel. And rightly so.

Enam hari di Tohoku (3/3) : Kaneyama

2011-08-14T11:23:00.002+09:00

Sebelumnya: Oshika (1/3), Onosaki dan Kaneyama (2/3)

Kalau dilihat dari jumlah produksi keringat dan pigmen yang membuat kulit lebih gelap, nonton festival SummerSonic di Osaka ini setara sama nyekop lumpur di Kaneyama.

Sayangnya bukan lemper yang disekop, kalo lemper dua hari nyekop perut udah jadi gembul deh (halo Ria! :D).

Sedikit cerita dulu kenapa tim IDRO ada di Fukushima: awal bulan lalu daerah Kaneyama di prefektur Fukushima dilanda hujan amat sangat lebat yang menyebabkan banjir lumpur. Jembatan-jembatan jalan raya dan jembatan rel yang melintasi sungai besar. Banjirnya Kaneyama ini bukti kalau daerah pegunungan pun bisa kebanjiran.

Sialnya buat Kaneyama, lokasi mereka di Fukushima itu bikin orang-orang yang normalnya bakal membantu jadi sukarelawan menjauh karena stigma reaktor nuklir yang mletup di sisi jauh Fukushima yang dekat pantai.

Lalu kenapa tim kami--dan beberapa NGO lainnya--ke Kaneyama juga? tak lain dan tak bukan ini karena iming-iming onsen/pemandian air panas gratis yang banyak tersebar di Kaneyama. Jadi kami dibujuk dengan janji-janji surgawi habis membanting tulang mengeruk lumpur kami bisa berendam di mata air panas.

(Yang berarti mandi telanjang di depan umum--er, tapi ya erm).

Kerjaan kami di Kaneyama sendiri lebih simpel daripada di Onosaki: karena sampahnya ngga banyak dan ngga ada barang busuk. Yang harus kami lakukan adalah membersihkan lumpur.

Karena setelah banjirnya lewat, lumpurnya mengendap, menutupi pekarangan dan jalan dan memblokir drainase, dan yang paling penting: mengisi ruang kosong antara lantai dan fondasi rumah penduduk di sana (saya juga baru tahu kalau ngga seperti di Jawa yang antara dasar fondasi sampai lantai ubin semua ditimbun tanah, di Jepang rongga itu dibiarkan kosong. Jadi rumahnya seperti rumah panggung dengan lantai yang tingginya selutut dari permukaan tanah.)

Waktu Tara tanya ke Quentin kenapa lumpurnya harus dikeruk, jawabnya adalah untuk mencegah masalah rayap ke tiang rumah (yang dibangun dari kayu). Permukaan lumpur yang basah ini kalau dibiarkan bakal membuat lantai lembab dan merusak kayu, dan mengundang rayap.

Bagian pekarangan dan garasi sih gampang, tinggal kerahkan backhoe buat ngeruk, tapi buat dasar lantainya mereka harus membongkar tatami, melepaskan plang-plang kayu yang menyusun lantai, dan menyekop lumpur yang terjebak.

Paling tidak secara teori sih pakai sekop. Nyatanya lebih gampang diambil pakai tangan karena antara lumpur dan tanah lebih gampang dipisahkan pakai tangan. Plus hal ini berarti ngga semua lantai kayunya harus dibongkar: tinggal kirim saja dua-tiga orang untuk merangkak ke bawah lantai kayu dan mengoper lumpur ke orang lain yang siaga di ujung satu lagi. Karena ukuran tubuh Sheila dan Robert paling kecil, akhirnya mereka berdualah (plus Julian yang jangkung tapi semangat ikutan) yang banyak merangkak sementara saya membungkus lumpurnya pakai sak. Mudbusting ahoy!

Saya sih jujur seneng aja kerja mbungkusin lumpur, lebih gampang, terlindung atap dari terik matahari daripada yang kerja di pekarangan (karena cuacanya terik cerah tanpa awan tiga puluhan atas derajat celsius). Plus kapan lagi saya bisa berkubang lumpur tanpa diketawain? :D

Eh tapi jatuhnya masih diketawain juga dong, waktu selesai kerja dan lalu disemprot pake selang buat membasuh lumpur dari kaos dan celana lalu disikat pake sikat panjang. Berasa kayak anjing girang lagi dimandiin. Tapi takapalah.

Di hari Sabtu kami beneran ke onsen-nya; yang taunya saking banyaknya sukarelawan jadi kelebihan pengguna dan harus antri. Saya sendiri ngga lama-lama berendamnya karena--er--karena itu. Plus airnya beneran panas jadi saya berasa kayak direbus suku kanibal. Tinggal dibumbuin gara--eh airnya mengandung garam mineral juga ya? Satu bak besar kaldu manusia siap disajikan. (bonus sisa daki).

Hari minggunya, saya dan Sheila dan Quentin hanya kerja setengah hari karena Sheila harus pulang ke Tokyo dan saya harus ada di Sendai lagi pukul tujuh malam untuk naik bus pulang ke Kyoto (dan perjalanan Kaneyama-Sendai itu lima jam sendiri) jadilah kami meninggalkan Kaneyama jam satu siang.

Kami berpisah di stasiun Sendai--capek luar biasa tapi tetap sayang harus kembali ke Kyoto. Untungnya saya minggu depan bisa kembali membantu tim IDRO lagi di Tohoku!

Sekarang sembari menunggu bisa kembali lagi ke sana, saya mengikuti blog mereka di idrojapan.posterous.com. Nanti kalau saya sudah balik ke sana lagi dan ngga dapet sinyal untuk twitteran, tunggu saja sampai tau-tau ada muka saya nongol di salah satu entri mereka.

More fun awaits!

Catatan ringan nonton festival

2011-08-14T00:50:00.001+09:00

出演者の撮影禁止
-tanda di plang yang diparadekan mas-masnya staf venue
•••
James Blunt: Are they stopping you from taking pictures and recording?
Audience: Yeah!
James Blunt: That's a shame. I don't mind being recorded. If you all took out your cameras at once they won't be able to stop you.
•••
Metronomy's diversity in physical appearances of their members is just pleasing to the eye. Plus Oscar suka tiba-tiba melakukan gerakan-gerakan aneh sendiri. Sayang ada masalah sama amplifier bass mereka--beberapa kali kelihatan keluar bunga api dari amplifiernya. They said they will be back soon!
•••
Mau ga mau tetep agak geli liat vokalisnya Friendly Fire joget. Agak mengingatkan sama Uphie yang joget kalau karaokean tapi dia jauh lebih gede gitu badannya.
And the part where he jump the fence and joining the mosh pit was unexpected. The worried look of the security guard is just pure gold.
I did not know why I would want trying to grab him but try I did. Unsuccessfully. I was within the meter radius but blocked by other revelers.
•••
Dan gila mountain stage yang terbuka langsung ke terik matahari itu panas pisan. Tentunya kaos jadi basah semua, walau persentase basah keringat dan basah disemprot air sama panitia jelas ga bisa dibedain.
•••
TDCC ga punya material baru, tapi tetep fun. Dan ngeliat vokalisnya terpanggang matahari jadi kebayang babi guling, pink merona. Plus perutnya si masnya gembul gitu.
•••
Kalau ada yang bisa menandingi heboh jogetnya Friendly Fires, Yelle is your girl. Berkostum leotard merah ketat, keliatan kerempengnya mbaknya. Woh tapi hebohnya jogetnya. She electrified the audience.
•••
Nonton Smith Western itu bikin keinget nonton The Drum tahun lalu: satu band mas-mas semua yang semua pake jins ketat. Gimana pakenya entah dah. Stereotipikal indie kali yah.
•••
So what was I doing yesterday? Basically I went to Osaka to watch white dudes sing and play music. Lots of white dudes, two girls (Yelle and Anna Prior of Metronomy) and one black guy (Gbenga Adelekan of Metronomy).

Enam hari di Tohoku (2/3): Onosaki dan Funekoshi

2011-08-13T06:20:00.004+09:00

Sebelumnya: Oshika (1/3)

Hari ini saya terbangun pukul dua pagi, dan seperti malam pertama saya di Ishinomaki Kizuna, Minami Sakai, entah kenapa saya tidak bisa tidur lagi.

Di Kizuna, mungkin karena waktu itu tetangga tidur saya mendengkur kencang. Bisa juga karena setelah satu jam terjaga, tetiba saya merasa ada gempa kecil yang langsung membuat jantung saya berdegup kencang. Setengah menit kemudian setelah nafas kembali teratur saya sadar kalau ternyata memang barusan ada gempa karena kaca jendela barak tidur kami masih berderak. Tapi rupanya hanya saya yang menyadari gempa barusan karena tak ada orang lain yang terbangun.

Tiga jam terjebak di antara kepanasan di dalam sleeping bag dan kedinginan di luar sleeping bag, tahu-tahu langit di luar sudah hampir terang. Pagi menjelang.

Agenda pagi itu berjalan normal: mengantri giliran mandi (mereka punya air hangat!), mengantri kopi, mengantri sarapan, makan sambil mengobrol ~~kecil~~ ringan (makasih Ajeng!), mengantri cuci piring, dan agenda terbesar pagi itu adalah rapat harian.

Sebenarnya saya bukan tipe orang yang suka rapat sih (saya selalu kabur dari Rapat Besar Himastron) karena rapat itu biasanya bertele-tele. Penting sih, biar semua yang ada di situ tahu organisasi A punya agenda apa, organisasi B mau membantu warga di mana, bapak dan ibu C sudah sebulan di situ dan harus pulang jadi sembari mengucapkan terimakasih dan selamat jalan, mari kita ucapkan salam untuk ibu D yang juga baru datang, dan saya yang memasang senjata andalan saya selama dua jam: muka bingung sopan (padahal kaki kesemutan duduk bersila dua jam).

Tapi toh akhirnya rapatnya selesai juga.

Dan muncullah kesulitan pertama: kata Hiroko-San, kata Robert kami bakal menumpang entah-namanya-siapa untuk ke Ishinomaki. Tapi ada perubahan rencana karena yang mau ditumpangi ngga ada. Untungnya ada Sheila dan sedan kecilnya (yang sempat rusak waktu dikendarai dari Kyoto ke Ishinomaki).

Berlima kami ke Onosaki, disertai banyak rutukan dan umpatan ketika mobil terguncang-guncang di jalan yang tidak rata.

Tapi toh pukul sepuluh akhirnya kami sampai juga di Onosaki, area yang baru-baru saja bisa dicapai dengan jalan darat setelah tentara Jepang dengan alat-alat berat membangun jalan ke daerah itu. Mungkin sebelumnya tim SAR hanya bisa ke situ dengan perahu, dan karena baru berhasil diakses baru-baru ini, sebagian besar puing-puing dan sampah-sampah yang ada belum tersentuh.

Jadi tugas kami selama di Onosaki adalah mengumpulkan dan menyortir barang-barang yang tersapu, terendam, dan tergeletak di sekitar sisa-sisa perumahan yang masih berdiri.

Tim kami bergabung dengan tim lain dari Osaka yang terdiri dari mas-mas kekar yang bikin saya insecure--kalah ramping, kalah kuat, kalah kekar. Gue berasa ngga manly pisan lah!

Di siang harinya, rombongan sukarelawan dari Taiwan bergabung dengan tim kami, dan pukul tiga kami berhasil "membersihkan" areal dua rumah.

Nggak banyak ya, hanya dua rumah untuk satu hari? Tapi biar hanya dua rumah, ada banyak kejutan seperti kulkas yang belum dibuka lima bulan yang berbau comberan dan futon yang terendam lalu teronggok di tanah becek berbulan-bulan: bau, berat, dan menjijikkan.

Sampah yang ada sendiri dikelompokkan jadi beberapa onggokan terpisah: onggokan kayu (basah, kering, dahan, serpih, furnitur rusak, tripleks, dll), onggokan plastik (styreofoam, kresek, bagor, dll), onggokan kaca (jendela, cermin, botol), onggokan metal (kaleng, kulkas setan di atas, elektronik lain, rangka rumah kaca, dll) dan onggokan baju (termasuk futon celaka di atas, jala, dan tatami basah).

Sampah yang sudah disortir itu lalu dionggokkan di tepi jalan besar, supaya gampang diambil truk raksasa untuk disatukan dengan onggokan serupa lainnya.

Onggokan pinggir jalan itu tingginya rata-rata dua meter lebih dan rangkaian onggokan tersebut mengular ratusan meter. Semua sampah. Berkarat, basah, kotor dan/atau bau.

Kalau ada moral yang bisa dipetik, moralnya adalah jangan punya barang banyak-banyak, kalau ada bencana susah diselamatkan, susah juga buat dibersihkan.

Sampai hari Jumat kami bekerja di area yang sama, dengan anggota yang berbeda-beda. Kami sempat membersihkan satu area bersama sukarelawan Peace Boat, On The Road (ini bukan program sahur televisi), RQ, dll. Anggota tim kami sendiri juga berganti-ganti. Di hari pertama ada Cerin dari Perancis yang ikut rombongan kami, lalu hari berikutnya ada dua bersaudara Fergus dan Patrick dari Kanada, dan ada juga Julian dan Sheila dari Inggris--beda dengan Sheila dari Skotlandia yang mobilnya kami tumpangi di hari pertama, ada juga Tara dari Australia. Di hari terakhir di Onosaki, ada Peter dan Douglas dari Amerika.

Jelas Kizuna nggak muat buat menampung semua tambahan sukarelawan IDRO, dan memang ternyata IDRO punya basecamp sendiri di Funekoshi, yang lebih dekat ke Onosaki daripada Minami Sakai--lokasi Kizuna.

Basecamp kami sebenarnya adalah gedung SD tiga lantai yang masih utuh meski diterjang tsunami yang ketika datang menggenangi hingga langit-langit lantai dua. Mengagumkan juga kalau dipikir-pikir, karena gedung SD ini hanya berjarak ratusan meter dari ujung dermaga. Tapi mungkin juga ini karena dermaganya tidak langsung menghadap samudera Pasifik tapi menghadap teluk kecil.

Quentin bercerita kalau hanya dua orang di Funekoshi yang meninggal karena tsunami: mereka terlalu percaya kalau tsunami tak akan sampai rumah mereka yang terletak di belakang gedung SD jadi ketika tsunami datang mereka tetap di rumah mereka dan tidak terselamatkan. Untungnya warga yang lain yang lebih bijak mengungsi ke dua bukit yang mengapit Funekoshi selamat dari amukan tsunami.

Selama kami tinggal di Funekoshi, tiap pagi sebelum berangkat ke Onosaki membantu warga lokal membersihkan pantai/dermaga mereka dari sampah apungan kayu yang tiap malam dibawa air pasang ke daratan. Seperti sampah di Onosaki, sampah ini juga akhirnya ditimbun di lokasi penimbunan terdekat: di balik gedung SD basecamp ada areal seluas satu lapangan bola dengan sampah yang menggunung setinggi dua lantai.

Meski resminya Funekoshi ini adalah basecamp IDRO hingga akhir Agustus, nyatanya kami sering juga meninggalkan basecamp ini: saya sendiri cuma merasakan dua malam di Funekoshi, dan Sabtu dini hari kami semua meninggalkan Funekoshi menuju Kaneyama di Prefektur Fukushima untuk dua hari berikutnya.

Berikutnya: Kaneyama (3/3)

Enam hari di Tohoku (1/3): Oshika

2011-08-09T16:22:00.003+09:00

Kemarin pagi saya sampai lagi di Kyoto dengan badan penat hasil duduk dua belas jam di bus malam dari Sendai dan jiwa penat karena kembali ke Kyoto berarti kembali mengerjakan riset yang udah ga jelas juntrungannya ke mana.

Sementara jadi sukarelawan di Tohoku itu sangat jelas juntrungannya ke mana. Plus saya kan belom pernah macul jadi sembari berasa agak macho juga berasa kalo hidup saya berfaedah bagi orang lain di Tohoku, sekecil apapun faedahnya.

Perjalanan saya dimulai dari tanggal satu Agustus malam dengan bus dari Kyoto yang akan membawa saya ke Sendai. Tapi sehari sebelum berangkat, saya baru sadar kalau tas saya nggak muat ditaruh sleeping bag, sleeping mat dan Wellington boots. Jadilah siang terakhir di Kyoto minggu itu diisi dengan terburu-buru belanja tas baru.
Perjalanan ke Sendai sendiri ga ada yang spesial: toh saya sudah biasa naik bus luntang-lantung sendirian naik bus, dan ada iPod sebagai senjata anti keberisikan penumpang lain yang ngorok.

Berangkat jam sembilan malam dari Kyoto, saya sampai di Sendai jam sembilan pagi. Karena di email Quentin bilang kalau saya bakal dijemput jam tiga sore di stasiun Ishinomaki, saya berpikir bakal bisa lihat-lihat Sendai dulu. Tahunya jam setengah sepuluh saya ditelepon, mobilnya sudah siap di Ishinomaki jam sepuluh.

Agh--agak panik karena jadi harus buru-buru ke Ishinomaki dan kebelet boker, saya menyeret tas ke stasiun sendai, naik kereta Rapid Express tujuan Ishinomaki, dan baru tahu kalo sekitar sepertiga jalur kereta api rute Sendai-Ishinomaki masih rusak.

Untungnya ada Google Maps yang infonya sangat akurat--dan dari situ saya tahu kalau Japan Rail menyediakan bus pengganti kereta di jalur yang rusak bebas biaya tambahan. Tapi saya tetap baru sampai di stasiun Ishinomaki jam satu siang. Agak ga enak juga sih sama yang udah nungguin dari jam sepuluh, tapi apa boleh buat.

Di sana sudah ada Kanae-San, Fujita-San, dan Ueda-San dan kami pun langsung meluncur ke semenanjung Ogatsu, tempat Robert, Quentin dan Hiroko-San sedang membangun ruang makan Sasaki-San, warga lokal yang rumahnya rusak berat tapi garasinya utuh dan lalu memutuskan untuk mengalihfungsikan garasi jadi hunian utama dan bahan-bahan dari rumah yang rusak dipilah untuk membangun ruang makan.

Karena membangun hunian jelas perlu keahlian dan pengalaman jadi tukang kayu, saya akhirnya kebagian tugas yang ga perlu pengalaman sama sekali: angkut-angkut, ngelem kertas di panel pintu (pintunya pintu kertas tradisional Jepang), dan menghabiskan makanan yang tak kunjung berhenti muncul.

Sekira agak sorean, saya, Ueda-San dan Kanae-San diajak Sasaki-San ke pulau di seberang peninsula--yang intinya sih jalan-jalan. Tak apalah, memang ga berguna juga membantu membangun rumah saya ini mah.

Ternyata di daerah itu penduduknya rata-rata beternak kerang, dan waktu kembali dari pulau itu kami sempat mampir untuk memanen kerang, yang sebagian langsung dibuka dan dimakan mentah-mentah di atas kapal (sambil pada berseru "Enaaaak!"). Er.

Waktu kembali lagi, makan malam sudah siap! And what a dinner it was! Bener-bener berasa kayak makan Lebaran: ada hati sapi, ada karubi, ada sushi, ada kentang rebus campur konnyaku, ada sayap ayam. Saya makannya agak merasa bersalah juga, belum juga kerja kok udah makan membabi-buta. Tapi naluri kemahasiswaan saya toh tetap kuat, dan adabnya bertamu kan menghormati tuan rumah dengan menyantap jamuan yang disajikan. Alhamdullilah :D

Sehabis makan (gila sisanya banyak banget gila), karena tim IDRO buat hari berikutnya akan dibagi menjadi dua: satu tim terdiri dari Quentin, Robert, Fujita-San dan Kanae-San tetap di Semenanjung Oshika untuk menyelesaikan pembangunan ruang makannya Sasaki-San sementara saya, Hiroko-San dan Ueda-San akan bertolak ke Onosaki untuk ikut menyortir barang-barang yang tersapu tsunami, tim Onozaki bermalam di Ishinomaki Kizuna--semacam basecamp bersama LSM yang beroperasi di area tersebut.

Barang-barang kembali dipak dan dimasukkan ke mobil, Robert mengantarkan kami ke Kizuna dan sebelum di Kizuna kami mampir di perkemahannya Peace Boat untuk menjemput Sheila yang baru datang dari Kyoto.

Setelah registrasi di Kizuna, mengeluarkan sleeping bag dari backpack, saya pun berusaha buat tidur. Sementara itu, semeter dari saya, ada sukarelawan lain yang sudah pulas mendengkur.

Berikutnya: Onosaki dan Funekoshi (2/3), Kaneyama (3/3)

The possibles and impossibles from Tohoku (0/3)

2011-08-09T15:18:00.001+09:00

Five months on since the big temblor on March 11 that shook Tohoku region and delivered several stories-tall tsunami, it is quite possible for you to visit Sendai without noticing that nothing unusual had ever happened. Bustling central train station, blaring advertisements set on the sides of the skyscrapers, if you had had no access to the news since the last six months and had no any Japanese comprehension whatsoever, you would have been none the wiser.

Which is unremarkable, really, as merely one month after the big quake, it was already quite impossible to see any vestiges of damage at all in Tokyo. When Septian and I went there on April, the only thing that gave it away was that most of the escalators and elevators at the train stations are inoperational. That and the fact that Shinjuku and Shibuya area was dimmer at night--most of the skyscrapers weren't illuminated to conserve energy. Fukushima energy crisis and all, you see. It was only because I had been there once before that I noticed something was amiss. The throngs of people are still crowding the area, mind you.

But when I think about my recent trip to Fukushima-Miyagi via Sendai, it is quite impossible to see the ruins of tsunami for yourself and not be awed by the immense power that nature can unleash at her whim. At the same time, it also quite impossible not to stand in awe of the people's resilience, and to respect mankind's ingenuity. At the very least, watching the gigantic walls being built on the side of the winding road to Ishinomaki from Sendai and the bridges being built in Fukushima made me understand Egalita's desire to be a civil engineer.

What I find was odd is that it is quite possible to go to Fukushima prefecture and not give a damn about radioactivity. We check the radiation level in Ishinomaki and on our way to Fukushima, for sure (and we found that the reading was nothing to be worried of) but to be honest my mind relegated this radioactivity issue as a non-issue. After all, it did me better trying not to retch whenever we found a fridge that hasn't been opened for nigh on half a year, or whenever we stepped on a rice stock went moldy, or even whenever I had to use the vile portable loo.

It's only been two days since I'm back in Kyoto, but I wish I could spend my whole summer up there. Too bad it's quite impossible to do so.

Tangle of thought-threads

2011-07-22T22:03:00.003+09:00

Gila yah, ternyata susah nulis yang emo-emoan kalau situasinya adalah: a. besok mulai weekend. b. perut kenyang. c. udaranya mendung enak, ga terlalu panas.

But in truth I have been brooding this past week. The reasons are nothing new, I was just mulling it over and over and again, compounded with anxiety of first time attending special lecture in astronomy to obtain credits, final exam for japanese reading class--intermediate level, the looming conference, plus the fact that I had no clue whether I am supposed to write a report for other classes I attend this semester.

But now a cool Friday evening descended upon Astro Plaza, and save for the cicadas' constant cacophony, it's really quiet so I shall now try to disentangle the threads of thoughts that had been keeping my mind between a hard place and a horrible place.

We shall start with the first thread (out of three, but I'm not sure I'm ready to write about the third): of falling out of religion and parental hopes and expectations.

(If you have a delicate mind, or especially conservative, my following rants may offend you. Save us both the hassle and do not continue. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.)

This might be a good time to step back and refer to this old post of mine: what Pandu said at the eve of my farewell dinner. The other thing that he said at that time was that, "I know I'm not the one to talk about religion, but Syhur, [you being accepted in Japan] meant that [reference to omnipotent being who overlords mankind] does not forget you, and so you shouldn’t forget of Him.*”

*[similar disclaimer applies as before]

As is evident in the quote, I had been falling out of religion even then.

But of course this is old news. I have been writing about this since a couple of years ago.

These days, I identify myself more as an agnostic than someone with religion. I sometimes wonder, how good of a liar am I? Does it show when I lied to my mom that sholat is something that I still do regularly? Does she know? And if she does, does it break her heart? Or if as they say, moms always know, would mine prefer wilful ignorance?

Beneath all those unanswered questions, lies a longing to resolve it. To actually take a stance.

The easier way would be to abandon awareness and blisfully immerse myself in ignorance that is religion. The my father's religion, the one with so many nutjobs in there that would left me with nothing else to do but "shaking my head in shame, silently when [those very same nutjobs] did terrible crimes in the name of Allah."

No, I do not want to go that road.

Which left me only one option if I want to re-embrace religion: get my questions answered. But there are two problems with this: 1. whom can I ask the questions to? 2. What questions exactly do I need to answer in order to resolve itself?

Problem 1 is hard enough in itself that it already left me in limbo. Fear of stigmatization (because everybody do silently rebel, no one brand them as mavericks. But when you start asking questions, it's a different matter altogether). And I don't actually know anyone with whom I will be comfortable enough discussing religion and at the same time have sufficient depth of knowledge in Islam.

I can picture it in my head, contacting the imam at the local mosque/professor of Islamic theology at local university here asking if they have time for coffee and discussion, and on the D-day, getting tongue tied.

So much for planning a resolution.

Maybe I should address the second problem first.

But what exactly made me fall out of the religious wagon?

I am by any standard fortunate enough. I wasn't born in a family subjected to abject poverty. I lost my father in quite a young age but I was not abandoned, for Mom care for us greatly. I do not live my life in fear of prosecution, in fear of mortal peril, I am not actively being discriminated, I am well-fed and am not ridden with incurable disease. I have a complete set of limbs, sensory organs, and am mentally sound. What more can I decently ask?

Or maybe it was exactly that. The fact that I am fortunate enough made me question this: if my fortune is something the Almighty bestow to me in His good grace, what did I do to deserve my fortune? There are others who toil as hard if not harder, and they are not graced with half the good fortune that I have.

There are others who pray and worship more devoutly, more selflessly, why does He in His infinite wisdom do not make life more bearable for them? On the other hand, there are those who upon seizing power, wilfully shafts other less fortunate, and then get away with that. Corrupt politicians, malicious bearer of power, they live their lives with undeserved good fortune.

The pious will say, they will reap what they sow in the afterlife. But if He is really omnipotent, why wait in the afterlife? If all the biblical and koranic stories were true, in the past His justice were swift, had He grown lazy today? If He does, how does a lazy god who turns a blind eye become worthy of my worship?

It doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't, really.

I suspect the religious will say that if I want divine justice uphold on Earth, it will strike both the innocent and the guilty. "It rains on the just and unjust alike."

And then my question would be, if He is all-mighty, if He is omnipotent, why couldn't he do things more subtly?

After all, most everyone who were dealt incurable and/or taxing diseases say that the disease was a trial of strength from Him. What is stopping Him from discreetly dealing those very same malicious politicians those deadly diseases?

If He, in His infinite wisdom, is waiting to see if those politicians will repent in the future, how does He see it fit to sacrifice thousands, nay, millions other innocent people just to see if one person will repent in the future? Where does He draw the line?

Somehow, somewhere along the line, I can't stomach the thought of worshipping a lazy omnipotent deity.

And in the end, does it matter if I worship him or not?

The God I was always taught is an omnipotent God. A God that needs nothing from His creations. Yet this is the very same God who requires rigid unrelenting discipline in ways to worship Him. Thou shalt not do this. Thou shalt not do that. Thou shalt not eat this. Thou shalt do this other thing regularly to stay in My good book. Thou shalt not question me. And countless other shalts and shan'ts.

But who am I but a single speck of unnoticeable dust among billions of other dusts in the desert? How does my worship make any difference for Him?

Oh no, those shalts and shan'ts and musts and must-nots ain't for His sake, He claims. Those are for my sake.

But if they really are solely and wholly for my sake alone, why does He feel the need to threaten his creations with unflattering promises of eternal agony in hell for those who fails to obey Him? Is He not all-loving?

"Those are for your own good, I say! And parents sometime threaten their children to behave, too!" said the hypothetical Islamic apologist part of my head.

But no parents--I mean no sane, rational parents--would roast their children for failure to eat healthy greens. Nor would they feed their children with foul pus or bitter thorn for displease them. You familiar with Qur'an would know that it actually promises thorns and pus as food in hell.

To me, this threats of hell do nothing but signal a really petty god. Don't get me wrong, they strike fear into my heart, but fear of a petty god.

And if there's anything worse than a lazy omnipotent god, it's a petty yet lazy omnipotent god. No wonder we live in such a fucked up world.

Do I have enough questions now? I think I do.

There's only one last thing to consider: free will.

Though often invoked as the solution to how an omnipotent, omniscient deity can coexist with evil in this world, I personally don't see how Him bestowing mankind free will absolves Him of any responsibility to his creation in this world. One can argue that His heaven/hell afterlife shows that He does not shirk responsibility but then we're back to 19 paragraphs before this one.

And so we can add irresponsible to lazy and petty.

So with all that rants, how could I identify myself as an agnostic than an atheist? Well, they are questions, for starter. I'm still keeping an open mind that somebody more knowledgeable than I am will be able to answer my questions in a satisfying manner.

And where that leaves you, in relation of my belief--or my lack of one? I say if you believe in a/some God(s) and it makes you a better person, by all means believe. I wouldn't dream of proselytizing to other with my own belief is made up mostly with disbelief and doubts.

Just try not to be evil and heartless.

--------------
Second thought thread is here.

On cheating

2011-07-18T13:37:00.000+09:00

In light of all the recent news coverage of concerted cheating effort blown apart by one Mrs. Siami, I would like to say that boy, ain't it fun to justly be on the high horse?

On my high horse, looking condescendingly upon the despicable unwashed masses who mobbed Mrs. Siami out of her house; most unlike my parents who taught me to value honestly with stern discipline colored by corporal punishments.

*Snickers*

You didn't actually think I'm raised with corporal punishment, did you? Because of course I wasn't.

But back on cheating: to the best of my recollection, I don't think I ever actually cheated on a test, covertly using notes on closed book tests and what not. Even if I did do that at one time or another, the fact that I can't easily recall such instances shows a repression of the experience and thus signalling deep shame and rejection to embody the values from the very activity of cheating in my psyche.

As Duck of Minerva wrote, following Vaughn Shannon, he taught his class that,

"[A] denial of a norm violation constitutes a greater recognition and internalization of that norm than does a justification. (Eg, countries who torture but deny it demonstrate a greater respect for the anti-torture norm than countries who torture but claim their actions are actually allowed under the Torture Convention.)^"

As it were, it never becomes a habit for me. However, I think that the real reason why I don't do that is simply because I see no necessity for it to begin with.

I cruised my primary and secondary education fairly easily--and save for physical education which I loathe with all my life, all the subjects are doable. Up until high school, I might not be the one with the best report cards in my year, but it was more than decent. As long as I put enough hours to study, all is well. And mind you, my experience of enough hours isn't really that high: so the time cost of doing so is not taxing.

Compare that with what others would need to do, rewriting notes in very fine handwriting to fit into minuscule scraps of paper that hopefully are inconspicuous enough to not be noticed by the teachers--I regard such minutiae work more hassle than its worth.

I am fully aware, of course, that not everyone shared the same view as I do.

I am also aware that with the nascent of big-screened smartphones with their powerful cameras, it significantly reduces the time necessary for the preparation of cheating itself. It will be easier and temptation will lure more.

Which if we all agree that honesty and integrity is a noble thing to promote and to instill to the children, it means that more burdens are being squared to the collective shoulders of parents and teachers to do so^^. And this is why the Gadel Sari teachers' and parents' betrayal of those values are even more outrageous.

---
^ The whole point of this post is really just an excuse to use this quote, really. Such an awesome quote this is.
^^ This is one of the reasons why I shudder at the thought of being a parent. You would need to be a good role model to not contribute even more in fucking up the one Earth that we have right now. Why so many people my age are in rush to get married and have children is beyond my comprehension.

It's a circle!

2011-07-09T16:20:00.000+09:00

"Without sustainability, we will not maintain prosperity; and without prosperity, sustainability will remain a vain hope. Without justice, there can be no enduring equity or fairness; and without equity, justice becomes a mere formal myth. Without freedom, community withers under the totalitarian; and without community, freedom becomes fraught and lonely desperation."

Totally awesome quote by Roy Morrison, USBIG Discussion Paper No. 017, February 2002.

#indonesiajujur: Salut untuk Ibu Siami

2011-06-12T11:55:00.000+09:00

Ibu Siami,

Saya salut dan bangga atas tekad ibu mengajar anak anda untuk menghargai kejujuran dengan tindakan nyata. Saya rasa mungkin dari sekian banyak orang yang mengeluhkan kebobrokan Indonesia, tak banyak yang berani mengambil resiko seperti Anda: yang ketika melihat praktek nyata kecurangan berlangsung lalu berani meminta kejelasan siapakah yang mengajarkan anak Anda berkomplot berbuat curang.

Menurut saya, teladan yang baik jauh lebih bernilai daripada berjam-jam kelas agama dan budi pekerti tanpa contoh nyata.

Jelas Anda jauh lebih berani dari saya, dan saya turut berharap AL bisa melanjutkan pendidikan di tempat yang lebih menghargai kejujuran, di manapun itu.

Salam hangat dari Kyoto, Jepang,
Masyhur

-----
Latar belakang: Suarakan Dukunganmu Terhadap Kejujuran, Si Jujur yang Malah Ajur

On a quiet change of inter-personal appellation

2011-05-23T00:52:00.003+09:00

Did you notice that recently I started to use the more colloquial first person pronoun 'gw' in lieu of all-time tested 'aku' on virtual channels recently? Strangely enough, this change is neither voluntary nor involuntary.

Not voluntary, because in my mind I described the whole thing as "I deign to use 'gw'" and thus signaling rejection on my part. But it's not involuntary either, as I find that I like how egalitarian it sounds--which probably is why other people use it in the very first place.

You might wonder exactly what is up with my resistance to the ubiquitous 'gw'. And you won't wonder alone.

Because to be fair, nothing is inherently wrong with 'gue' or its variants 'gua', or 'gw' and 'g' for SMS. My objection was that only it's different, and it's also inconsistent to boot. Dewi Lestari in one of her Supernova novels offers regional differences to explain the different inflection.

And maybe my reluctance has its root to regional difference as well. As Adhitia Mulya noted in one of the footnotes in Jomblo, the Javanese girls in Bandung stood out for their use of 'aku' instead of the more popular casual 'gua'. Two anecdotal observations from two friends (Puspa, via IMs, and Firman, via tweets) assured me that I am not alone, albeit in a minority. For what it's worth, Puspa went to the same high school with me and lives only a kecamatan away. Firman is from Malang, I think: valid generalization for the following point.

That said, the best explanation that I can offer is this: raised in Javanese-speaking culture, I already have not one, but three first person pronouns: 'kula' to use with teachers, elders, older strangers; 'saya' as its Indonesian equivalent; and 'aku' for everyone else, family and friends included, in both Javanese and Indonesian. Naturally, the last easily dominates both the former in term of frequency of use, and it serves all purposes just fine.

So I have a pronoun that works fine. Very fine. And I don't see why I should change something that works so.

But as with every other things in the world, other inhabitants sometimes have this bizarre idea of running things differently than you intended to. And conveniently for them, there are more of them than you.

And just like those who espouse extremist values or ridiculous religious belief (cf. May 21st Rapture), one finding oneself in a situation where one do not have the advantages of number, one would resort to make up for it by ferociously clinging to such belief.

If (Principle is True) then Go. Else Stop.

I would not touch 'gue', not even with a ten feet pole. Particularly because I can never remember how many meters is in a ten-feet and I also do not have a pole.

Oh, fine, I touched it, all right. But in the past my use of 'gue' is restricted either for ironic and sarcastic abuse (e.g. Guweh habis makan mi ayam pinggir jalan! Mak nyuss!) or to remain faithful when conveying other people's words (e.g. "Ta, si Bunga bilangnya sih 'gw ga mau kalo keluar duit mahal',").

So it should come as no surprise then that I acquire winding casual speaking style, avoiding direct mentions of first and second person pronoun whenever possible (change 'gue' and 'aku' to 'elo' and 'kowe/kamu' in preceding paragraphs and you'll get the gist).

And then I get to know English. Oh joy!* As English doesn't care whether you're talking to peers, teachers, parents, or your local hobo, it allows you to use the singularly useful 'I' everywhere. Imagine that. No need to give a damn about social structure. Best of all, it's also the same way for the second person pronoun. With very little modification such as appending 'Sir' or 'Professor', you can use 'you' for anyone.

Is it any wonder I am glad for debating and SEF ITB? They strip daily communication in English at Indonesia off its pomp and let me celebrate egalitarian value in my own personal way. Or you can call the aforementioned value as resistance to change, if you so inclined.

The next question to be addressed is why do I finally, timidly embrace this change? After all, I'm not living in Indonesia at the moment, you'd say.

Well, for one, after English, now I get to know Japanese. Oh joy!** A language that is if not as stratified than Indonesian and Javanese, more so than both languages. An antithesis of egalitarian values if I ever knew one.

'Watashi', 'boku', 'ore', 'atashi' are there to trip you off. Casual '-ru' verbs and formal '-masu' ending aggravates one's insecurity, making one constantly wondering if the local sees a foreigner--albeit with a brown face--as stand-offish.

Not that I'd have any problem described as stand-offish, mind you. I've had my share of seeing 'stoic' and 'non-expressive' used to describe me. None would puzzle me in a bit. Though I'd have to honestly admit that 'warm' and 'beaming smile' never fail to make me double take then roll my eyes heavenward when they are used to describe me.

But back to personal pronouns: me stopping to cling to 'aku' would be consistent with me generally saying principles-with-less-than-fundamental-reasons-to-espouse be damned. If you know me well, you'd know what principles I'm talking about. The rest of you, you'll just have to take my words for it. They're good words, if I may say so myself.

On a more practical level, I figured a relaxation in stance will help me immerse myself in using the ever confusing Japanese. As I get the hang of using and mixing 'gue' with 'aku', so should I get the hang of referring to myself with 'boku'.

Which is just about time.

*genuine happiness here.
** less-than-genuine happiness here.

The Danger in Metaphors

2011-04-18T19:50:00.000+09:00

It takes very little before we identify ourselves with a fictional character.

Suppose you're a girl, but feel more comfortable with a boy's haircut, have a loyal dog, and generally wanting to always challenge authority. Meet Georgina a.k.a. George.

Suppose you're an orphan, living close with a pampered cousin that always receive a better deal, better toys than you. You'll find it easy to imagine you're Harry Potter.

Suppose you're a girl just moved in to new neighborhood. People tell you you're clumsy, and you feel you have had no luck with boys. You should beware lest you identify yourself with Bella Swan.

If I stop here at three examples, it's really not for the lack of examples.

But thinking you had something in common with Harry Potter is a relatively harmless association, because will it all you want, no owl will suddenly knock your window to invite you to Hogwarts. To some extent, so is an association with Bella Swan. Though if you're a girl who wants an uninvited creep to watch you sleeping, I'd wager some will be willing to grant your wish. Too willing, even.

Then what if the character that you're associating is just a step above ordinary? The character you associate with does not wave magical wands to levitate objects, nor does she have an idiotic urge to be a vampire. Would then you be able to separate where fantasy ends and reality begins?

I guess this is what Tomas in Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being unwittingly committed himself into. By identifying Tereza as a child put in a bulrush basket and sent downstream and he as a Pharaoh's daughter that snatch baby Moses, he assigned characters for himself and Tereza.

See, this is why Kundera then wrote,
"Tomas did not realize at the time that metaphors are dangerous. Metaphors are not to be trifled with. A single metaphor can give birth to love."

By putting himself in a Moses metaphor, Tomas bind his action to follow his character in the metaphor. He then took Tereza in to his life (snatching the basket out of the river), and guardew her, which subsequently grew compassion.

When you employ a metaphor, associate a character for your own life, lest you be able to separate truth from fiction, you will follow in your metaphorical character's step. If anything, for consistency's sake.

And I fear we often do so voluntarily.

Because so powerful is our desire to see the future, the metaphors that we employ become our means to divine our future, forecasting the result of the action that we take by means of the result that our metaphorical characters took.

[TBC]

So you abhor violence

2011-04-05T01:32:00.001+09:00

And you saw what can only be classified as a naked display of violence. You saw a cuffed man, wailing. Loudly.

Which is an acceptable response, given that at that moment five people were taking turns beating him. Punching him at the face and gut. Slapping his left cheek and right.

Where was this? This was at Dukuh Atas busway stop, Jakarta. Early morning on Wednesday, March 23rd.

Given the appearance of who beating whom (four transjakarta employees and one man in white formal shirt beating a man in orange-and-black t-shirt), I think my assumption that they were beating a petty thief caught red-handed must not have been far from the truth.

And he wailed, loudly.

So I averted my sight, cranked up the volume of my iPod.

And still he wailed.

Oh, tush, you bleeding heart. He was not even bleeding. See other waiting passengers' sight: see their eyes widened watching the violence, see them glued to the scene.

Fortunately the bus I was waiting for was coming. So away I went.

In defense of the word apartheid

2011-03-03T15:23:00.002+09:00

Dear Ms. Natalie Portman,

I'm writing to express my dismay of your rejection to the term "apartheid" used by Faisal Chaudhry in his Op-Ed, "An Ideology of Oppression." Although I agree that physically, the Palestinian and Israelis physiques are not as markedly different as Africans and Caucasians in South Africa, it does not mean that discrimination does not occur.

We don't have to look any further beyond the encroaching separation wall, built by Israel, to "contain" violent elements away from Israeli civilian lives. A separation wall that obviously makes mere transport difficult for the Palestinian. And then there's the checkpoints, where people without Israeli ID can be hold up for hours, making any journey to work, study, or emergency medical situation uncertain.

All I am saying is that discriminations occur. It might be not on the base of race, but it occurs. And the term apartheid feels more apt than anything to describe that. As the saying goes, "A rose by any other name still smells sweet," so does the injustice done to the Palestinian. It doesn't matter that you refuse to name it so, we still know life is fraught with unfairness for the Palestinians.

You say that it was an untrue finger-pointing tactic, I say it is untrue indeed but only if we adhere to the strictest of definition. You say it is finger pointing, but time and again we read that israel often does not honor its words to freeze settlements. You say it is childish, I say it's an evocative name that befits the injustice on the ground.

If you fear that such name will portray a sweeping insensitive prejudice of the Israeli, I wish you had the ability to stomach that. Maybe if it persists, it would finally force your government to act accordingly. For far too long of a time the world have been ready to condemn Israel by a UN resolution, and it was only by the veto from US that the resolution is not passed.

However, I agree with you that any loss of life on either side is a loss immeasurable. Countless blood have been shed, and if you dream of a future where Israel and Palestine people live together with no bloodshed, I share the same dream too.

At the end, I would like to acknowledge that your letter was 9 years old, and maybe you have been all but forgotten it. Maybe you had even changed your stance. It's a shame I wouldn't know, as the people who shared the link to your letter say no more word of it. So maybe my feeling of dismay shouldn't have been directed at you, but rather to the self-proclaimed critical thinkers who blindly pass your old words along, in their haste to praise you. I'm aware that people can be starstruck even from a mighty distance, and maybe it's what breaks my heart.

Lastly, I would like to congratulate you on your Academy Award success with Black Swan. I haven't had the chance to see it on the big screen--I'm not even sure it has already been screened in japan--but I'm sure it must be riveting. After all, I did enjoy your portrayal of Evey Hammond.

Yours,
Masyhur

I don't get art

2010-12-27T05:27:00.001+09:00

And if it makes me a simpleton, then I am one.

I do realize that "art" itself is a term too general, covering from pieces of music to ceramic vases to aurora borealis. Some of those, I do get. But when we're talking fine art, say painting, I can confidently say here that I don't get them. (I daresay if you ask me again in a posher event you'll find me nodding along the snobs).

I don't get, for example, why a bunch of sunflowers in a vase painted in a canvas can fetch millions. The one painted by van Gogh are not even painted in perspective.

I don't get, for an even bizarre example, what seemingly as odd collection of organs in clashing colors would beckon someone to open his wallet in an effort to exhibit it in his study.

I can go on and on and on.

When I compare that with other work of art, I rather thought it is because the minimal time of appreciation required for a painting is, well, minimal. Say a piece of "modern" music, which has been lamented as catering only to ADD generation, spanning not more than 5 minutes per track, they still require exactly that. Five minutes for a full listen.

In another hand, you can glance a painting for three seconds and be done with it already.

Compare that with a book. How many books are there that you can finish in a single sitting? And that's just for a one-time reading. Short stories are shorter and yet they still require more time to appreciate.

Then there's the ability to inspire. Some music would move your hands involuntarily for an airdrum. Some would reduce you to tears. Others, warm your cloudy days (or nudge you to suicide). Still others would enrage.

Not so with painting. Have you ever heard someone called to dance after watching a painting of people dancing? Have you ever feel that you would like to kiss your love after watching a painting? And surely we can make do already with all the idyllic painting of greens in the world?

The best that you can get maybe is a feeling of longing, if it depicts something of a distant and unreachable past. Maybe the paintings of greens will be even more valuable in 2050, when all Earth is barren post nuclear winter. If mankind still survives, that is.

Still, for all its limited ability, how can they command such price? I don't think I've ever heard a piece of music being auctioned and make headlines for the bagful of money it's being sold at.

Then there's also the matter of expression. If you read me lashing about paintings of lazy grasses, that's because I don't get it. What are they supposed to say? "Wouldn't it be good to frolick under the sun, enveloped by summer warmth?" That we can do in public park. Unnecessary at best, noisy at worst.

Perhaps paintings is the best embodiment of art for art's sake. Highly subjective, and its biggest value is in the making. Yes, I'll just go back to bed and a good happy new year to you.

Semaian ribang

2010-12-25T18:39:00.000+09:00

Siangilah bibit teragak itu, jangan biarkan bersemi.

Buah Terlarang

2010-12-15T15:20:00.000+09:00

Dan Kami berfirman, “Hai Adam diamilah oleh kamu dan isterimu surga ini, dan makanlah makanan-makanannya yang banyak lagi baik dimana saja yang kamu sukai, dan janganlah kamu dekati pohon ini, yang menyebabkan kamu termasuk orang-orang yang dzalim. (QS 2:35)

Sayang Adam dan Hawa ngeyel (setelah dibujuk Syaithon). Maka hap-hap, mereka ambil buah itu, makan, ketahuan, Adam dapat jakun dan Hawa dapat payudara*.

Setahu saya, versi populernya--ehm, masyhur--di Barat, si buah itu adalah buah apel. Saya ga tau apa ada secara eksplisit disebutkan di Injil, tapi mungkin sih ngga. Karena waktu saya baca kumpulan tajuk rencana Kompas karangan Jakob Oetama, sempat disinggung mungkin sebenarnya buahnya itu adalah buah mangga.

Lebih masuk akal daripada apel sih, terutama karena apel perlu iklim dingin untuk tumbuh (I'm thinking Malang here)--sementara (CMIIW) konsep aurat baru ada setelah mereka makan si buah terlarang itu. Udara dingin+ga pakai baju=bukan surga ideal. Hmm, atau justru ideal ya?

Bandingkan dengan mangga! Buah tropis = iklim hangat, berarti lebih nyaman kalau konsep pakaian belum dibutuhkan. Skor satu poin untuk Jakob Oetama!

Nah, sekarang saya mau mengajukan satu hipotesa: si buah itu sebenarnya adalah buah durian!

Kenapa durian? Karena banyak yang suka. Oh, durian juga buah tropis lho, jadi mendukung hipotesa iklim surga. Tapi ada beberapa asumsi yang diperlukan agar hipotesa ini bernilai benar:
(1) Durian di surganya Adam dan Hawa tidak berkulit duri.
(2) a. Adam dan Hawa adalah penyuka aroma durian (Hawa berkata, "Iya, Dam, baunya itu lho, sedap dan membangkitkan liur! Mmmmm"); atau b. Durian surga baunya baru muncul setelah dikupas (Adam mengupas durian, mencium baunya, dan berseru, "Gusti! Bau apa ini?" Sambil mengunyah**, Hawa berkata, "I bet you're not manly enough to eat the fruit!").
(3) a. The Almighty ga suka bau durian; atau b. His sense of humor was great jadi dia menciptakan buah berbau--yah tau lah maksudnya (jadi Dia terpanggil oleh seruan Adam di 2b).

I'm personally leaning to 3.a.; sehingga setelah Adam dan Hawa buka buahnya, Dia mencium baunya, dan murka: "WHO DARETH TO SPOILTH MY PARADISE WITH SUCH UN-GO.... YOU HUMANS!"

Kami berfirman: "Turunlah kamu! sebagian kamu menjadi musuh bagi yang lain, dan bagi kamu ada tempat kediaman di bumi, dan kesenangan hidup sampai waktu yang ditentukan". (QS 2:36)

------
* Apakah ini berarti Hawa tidak berpayudara sebelumnya? Lalu--uh, postur tubuhnya kayak apa ya?
** Karena untuk bahan payudara Hawa perlu makan buahnya jauh lebih banyak daripada sejumput bahan jakun
------

EPILOG

Kemudian Adam menerima beberapa kalimat dari Rabb-nya, maka Allah menerima taubatnya. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Penerima taubat lagi Maha Penyayang. (QS. 2:37)

Setelah turun ke Bumi dan menemukan Hawa kembali, Adam pun berdoa, "Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku telah mengecap rasa buah-Mu, sudikah Engkau menurunkannya pula ke Bumi ini sebagai pengingat?*"

And true to His fashion of humor, He let grow durian abundantly. With spikes as bonus. Sebagai pengingat penderitaan Adam.

------
* Typical man, I tell you, try to outsmart his better. Padahal ngaku aja jadi pengen lagi karena baru makan secokot kan sama aja.

The Sun

2010-12-06T20:53:00.000+09:00

I wonder if the Sun ever feels loneliness. Flattered, but lonely.

He has four gaseous things that adore him from afar. They shine, alright, but their beams are borrowed light. Miserable specks of stolen splendor.

From him.

I wonder if the Sun ever feels jealousy. Stuck in a solitary with no one to keep him company.

He has no companion star, and when he gaze for the brilliance that lies near, would envy be something he fear?

For a mere parsec away, the Centauris couple seemed happy with each other. She shine her light on him, his on her, rotating in an eternal dance.

Blessed with Proxima Centauri, he thought that they might as well have a white picket fence (with roses!) around their dwelling.

III

I wonder if the Sun ever feels regret. The scars, they were never intended to be there.

Yet for all he said and done, Mercury is burnt, and Venus is barren.

So much for brilliance. And he is not even that stunning. He.. is stock. If one care to traverse the galaxy, his kind is really abundant.

So he traverses.

I wonder if the Sun ever feel hopeless. Felt that all that is there in the store for him is wasting away.

Tugged by gravity, he travels the galaxy. He follows the faint traces of other stars before him, hoping for an interaction or two.

But lately it dawned on him: it's a moving target. No matter how long he walks on his path, dragging his victims and admirers along, it's one emptiness after another. He realizes that others have also been there in this journey, but they left him on his own.

I wonder if the Sun ever feel the universe is unfair.

Afterall, what good is longevity when you are subjected to involuntary solitary?

I wonder if the Sun ever wished for the future. For everything to be different than they are.

VII

From: "apollo@mw.sg3.net"

To: "yellowdoorknob"

Sent: Sun, December 5, 2010 1:46:01 AM

Subject: I-VI

You know, you really shouldn't worry. I know anthropomorphizing celestial bodies is fun and all, but ultimately it never changes anything. I'm perfectly content where I am. Maybe you should, too.

PS: You might want to worry about Gaia a bit, though. I heard her wheeze the other day. You know how proud she is, she won't even ask for help, not even when she bleeds oil.

PPS: Don't let her know I said that about her!

Sisi lain sistem ganda lubang hitam supermasif

2010-10-28T23:10:00.002+09:00

... adalah buah dada.

Heran? Hayati. Resapi. Renungkan.

Okelah, karena saya sebagai satu dari sejumput orang yang beruntung mengenyam bangku pendidikan astronomi institut gajah duduk, mungkin saya punya kewajiban moral untuk menyebarkan dan meluruskan informasi tentang astronomi yang ada di publik.

Blog ini JELAS BUKAN bagian dari kewajiban moral itu.

Wong saya cuma mau cerita kalau siang tadi saya ada bimbingan dengan si bapak profesor dan si aa' (mas? oom? ah apalah) paskadoktoral. Di bimbingan sebelumnya, Senin dua minggu yang lalu saya diberi pekerjaan rumah, membaca jurnal ini.

Yang tentu saja baru mulai dibaca kira-kira 2 jam sebelum bimbingan, tadi pagi jam 8 (bimbingannya jam 10.30). Sebagai mahasiswa paskasarjana teladan, maka saya datang telat 5 menit ke sesi bimbingan.

Di situ saya menjelaskan kemajuan ngutak-atik program fortran saya sendiri hingga bisa membuat grafik semacam di bawah ini, yang dengan modifikasi sedikit bisa lah dipakai buat Uji Rorschach.

Karena ngomongin kemajuan itu tiga menit juga selesai yah, maka berikutnya saya ditagih PR, menjelaskan ulang sub bab #3 (Temporal Variation) dan #4 (Discussion) jurnal yang tadi. Jelas tidak lengkap kalau ujug-ujug langsung bahas dua sub bab terakhir, jadi mau tak mau mulai lagi dari awal, dari pendahuluan.

Saya pun mulai menggambar skematik dua buah lubang hitam yang dikelilingi awan Broad Line Region, meniru gambar ini, yang diambil dari jurnal yang sama.

Kira-kira menjadi gambar ini, tapi di papan tulis:

Awalnya sih saya bener-bener ga ada asosiasi sama sekali, tapi karena saya menggambar sistem obyek ganda itu berulang-ulang di papan tulis, tiba-tiba di gambar ke-enam (jarak pisah sedang, massa kedua lubang hitam sama) tiba-tiba saya terhenyak sejenak: ngapain ya saya gambar boobs banyak-banyak gini di papan tulis?
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Terkait astronomi sebelumnya: Tips membatalkan presentasi di Summer School, Apa yang sebenarnya saya lakukan di sini.

Recent Developments of Elephantiasis

2010-10-19T20:28:00.003+09:00

Just the other day, Ria drove my kepo-level to the roof, finding the identity of a person only briefly referred to in a blogpost. Well, I am easy to provoke, really. Suffice it was to say that in two hours I can safely conclude the identity of the person-in-question (and hence proving my superiority over her as a kepo-master :P). By combination of well archived and tagged blog, Facebook friend list, info and photo album, and unawareness of privacy issue, if you must know.

It prompted me to take a gander of my own's blog archive, and sure enough, plenty of juvenile and ababil stuff there. During the past year, however, I have come to a better sense and decided to put my private rants somewhere more private (hello, circular explanation!)

I will keep this blog updated anyway, but it will mostly be for lighter stuff. Because the world can make do with a little more LOL, ROFL, and ROFLOLMAO. And if you ever found anyone who actually ROFLOLMAO-ing in real life, I implore you to record that. To prove mankind devolution in the making. That is all.

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P.S. Yes, the title of this post was meant to be total gibberish. Let it go.

Tokyo, part 5: expenses

2010-09-24T18:40:00.002+09:00

If a blog starts with a digression, is it still a digression?

Anyway, after I first came to Lombok I planned to wrote a post about how to get around, comparing information from the internet with the experience that I had, particulary on the price, accessibility of transport and what nots. Obviously now it all has got thrown out of the window and I'll be damned if I can remember how much money I spent on angkot, cikar, and ojek on my way to Kuta from Mataram.

But I just came back from 3-day trip to Tokyo, and considering the recent unveiling of Air Asia route to Haneda from Kuala Lumpur, if you're planning a trip, this post might worth your while, perhaps for planning expenses.

As I'm sure you've known already, I live in Kyoto. And the purpose of that trip to Tokyo was for a debating tournament known as JPDU Autumn--or something like that. I won't bore you with my debating woes, because that's not the intention of this post. But I digress anyway.

So I left for Tokyo from Kyoto station's bus terminal (hachijouguchi) in a bus heading for Shinjuku station. We planned to use JR bus (because we can get student discount from JR), but because it was a long weekend, the tickets were not enough for the four of us. So we used bus from another company (no, I don't remember its name, 6000 yen, 11pm departure, 6pm arrival at Shinjuku station).

Because the itinerary for the first day and the first half of the second day was bound for the tournament, we were just going from Shinjuku station (arrival point)-International Christian University (debate venue for 1st day)-Soka station(nearest station to our hotel) for the first day. Itinerary for Monday morning was from Soka station-Tokyo University of Science. Afterwards, we split up, and I explore the area on my own, starting from TUS-Ueno station. Stopped for Tokyo National Museum and National Science Museum. Then go on different direction from Ueno station-Kamakura station-Hase Station, the nearest station to Kamakura-Hase Youth Hostel, where I spent the second night.

The next morning, it's Hase station-Kamakura station. Stopped for the beach southward from the train station, gegoleran di pasir pantai, and for nglarung kacamata item. Yeah agak goblok emang. By mid-day, back to Kamakura station for Yokohama station. Then after securing my bag in a locker, to the Chinatown. Because I'm not really a shopping person (and there's not much grabbing my attention anyway, after seeing Yamashita park round, I returned to Yokohama, retrieve my bag, and head out to Kawasaki. Why I finally chose Kawasaki was pretty much a mystery, but from Kawasaki station I changed train and head for Kawasaki daishi, the nearest station to the shrine with iron penis.

Have I bored you off? Bear with me, it was night already when I left Kawasaki for Shinjuku (again) to wait for the bus that then took me to Kyoto.

Ga konkrit ya? Let me flesh out the expenditure posts for three days then (not 100% accurate, but you get the idea):

1. Lodging. 3400 yen for sharing a hotel room for two in Soka and 4300 yen for the hostel in Hase.

Subtotal 7700 yen

2. Transport. Kyoto-Shinjuku: 6000 yen. Shinjuku-Mitaka (210) Mitaka-ICU pp (210x2) Mitaka-Soka (~810) Soka-TUS (~600) TUS-Ueno (730) Ueno-Kamakura (890) Kamakura-Hase (190) Hase-Kamakura (190) Kamakura-Yokohama (330) Yokohama-Motomachi pp (200x2) Yokohama-Kawasaki (210) Kawasaki-Kawasaki daishi pp (130x2) Kawasaki-Shinjuku (380) Shinjuku-Kyoto: 500 yen (promo ticket I bought from another debater). Needless to say Google Maps helped me a lot to locate the train stations and where to get off and the like.

Subtotal 12120 yen for Kyoto-Tokyo-Soka-Tokyo-Chiba-Tokyo-Kamakura-Yokohama-Kawasaki-Tokyo-Kyoto

3. Food. I have to admit I have a weakness for sweet drinks, hence brief stops at vending machines and convenience stores (~1200). Meals (mostly bento) are around 400-500, but I did find a soba shop in Kamakura station, decent portion for only 380 yen. I reckon I spent (200+600+700+1000+800+380+380) for meals (excluding the one in the hostel). What's the 200 yen meal, you ask? It's that McD, of course.

Subtotal 5260 yen

4. Miscellaneous. Included here is the registration for the debate (2500), golden piggybank bought at Chinatown (500), coin locker (300x2), entrance to National Museum of Science (600), impulsive electronic purchase (4200) and electrical socket (400)

Subtotal 8800 yen

Total? 33880 yen.

Hmmm, gimana saldo tabungan mau tambah kalo begini caranya? Kalo ga dipake debat, dipake nonton summer sonic (27000), atau summer school (30000), atau buat balik (80000).

Unsurprisingly, the biggest expenditure is for transport, while the miscellaneous post swelled by almost 100% due to impulsive purchase of iPod charger, batteries, and iTunes card. But I was bored beyond belief waiting for the bus in Shinjuku and my iPod's battery was empty, with no plug in sight. I have no knowledge of a discount pass for Tokyo area, but I think there must be one similar to Kansai surutto card (?), a 2000 yen pass that you can use for going around osaka in a day or two (have never tried it personally, might do so in the future).

As for the sight I visited itself, I'd definitely visit the museum again in the future (belom puas, keburu tutup museumnya, dan belom juga sempet liat yang museum of western art di sebelahnya nat. sci. museum), the beach was a surfing beach, and the shrine was.... unusual. I'm sure I've babbled quite a lot about it on Twitter anyway.

I'm currently entertaining the idea of visiting more places in Japan, perhaps northward of Tokyo. The hard thing is really, deciding where to go, as I'm not a shopping person, and not a shrine person (not feeling particularly religious at the moment). Some museums will inevitable only have explanations in Japanese, and climbing mountains isn't really my style (remember the disastrous ski trip?). One option is to visit Karlin in Kanazawa (and she mentioned there'll be another SEF senior, Oda, studying there from this October), but aside from that, we'll see how it goes.

To-Do List..

2010-08-10T00:01:00.002+09:00

..while in Indonesia:

- Cari CD The Trees And The Wild. Dan artis-artis lainnya! Karena lebih murah daripada beli di Jepang. Yang kepikiran sekarang: St. Vincent, Hurts, OK Go, The Morning Benders, Girls, Mutemath. Belum memutuskan apa bakal beli OST Eclipse atau nggak. Di satu sisi, lagu-lagunya keren. Di sisi lain... Twilight saga. Bah.
- Buku! Kopi Merah Putih. Chickenstrip, kalau orang rumah belum beli. Kalau sampai pulang belum beli Skulduggery Pleasant juga, mungkin di Indonesia ada.
- Nyobain Penyetan Mas Kobis (?) yang dikoar-koarin Danti. Tapi perlu latihan makan cabe lagi dulu.

Kalau meet-up sih jelas lah ya. :D

Tips Membatalkan Presentasi

2010-08-04T23:19:00.000+09:00

Anda baru pertama kali datang/ berpartisipasi di konferensi ilmiah? Anda tahu kalau sebagian hadirin akan tidur meski tidak lelap? Atau Anda tahu tapi tetap demam panggung? Jangan kuatir, ikuti langkah jitu berikut untuk membatalkan sesi Anda!

1. Kenalilah panitia penyelenggara yang ada. Mereka biasanya mudah dikenali dengan baju panitia, tag nama panitia, ataupun sikap yang sangat sosial.
2. Perhatikan panitia yang punya fitur tubuh paling unik. Bisa berupa, misalnya: panitia cowok yang punya rambut dikepang panjang sepunggung. Mirip punya suku Na'vi gitu.
3. Tebar pesona Anda. Deiphnophobia? Atasi dulu untuk sementara hingga Anda bisa duduk bersebelahan di suatu kesempatan. Paling baik di waktu makan siang hari pertama, karena jelas semua peserta masih berada di venue.
4. Basa-basi, hingga ke topik yang paling jelas: tanyakan apakah [fitur tubuh uniknya] asli, dan untuk kasus rambut suku Na'vi, bolehlah minta pegang.
5. Genggam erat, tarik kuat [YANK!] hingga ia hilang keseimbangan dan jatuh! Segera setelah ia jatuh, tindih badannya dengan kaki atau lutut Anda [Pin him to the ground!] dan tertawalah sesuai karakteristik tawa jahat jumawa anda [MUAHAHAHAHA!], lalu sambung dengan pernyataan lantang dan menggelegar, "Gorg 59A-omega, kita bertemu lagi! Tapi kali ini aku mengenalimu biarpun kau menyamar menjadi manusia! Muahahahaha! Muahahahahahahaha!"

Jika diikuti dengan i'tikaf dan berserah diri pada Yang Maha Kuasa (dan yang berwenang) insya Allah slot bicara Anda akan ditarik. Insya Allah amin!

Penyangkalan: penulis sama sekali tidak bertanggung jawab atas potensi kerugian material maupun non-material yang mungkin timbul sebagai akibat mengikuti panduan ini. Seluruh tanggung jawab dan konsekuensi ditanggung oleh pelaksana panduan.

Dari Majalah ke Sepeda

2010-07-04T22:17:00.000+09:00

Jadi ceritanya saya Jumat kemarin diajakin untuk ikut latihan debat. Habis kelas Elementary Listening yang habis buat twitteran, saya cari bangku yang kosong di perpus pusat sambil nunggu balasan SMS cari tahu ruangnya di mana. Bosen, saya hampir ambil jurnal akademis tentang seni keramik (!) dari rak pas tiba-tiba pandangan tertumbuk pada satu rak yang isinya majalah Time.

Kebeneran ada satu yang mencuat yang cover storynya tentang Twitter. Dan karena saya waktu itu lagi nyelesain nulis bagian terakhir Tokyo chronicle, lumayan kan kalo ada tambahan bahan hinaan?

Tapi seperempat buka-buka halamannya, ternyata ada artikel tentang Tebing Tojinbo, yang deskripsi lokasinya disebut "Dari Kyoto ke arah utara." Yang akhirnya bikin saya twitteran tentang topik bunuh diri ini deh.

Dulu sekitar tahun 2007-2008, saya rutin beli Newsweek dan Time di Reading Light. Maklum, murah, cuma 6000 rupiah. Dijual--entah kenapa--tanpa cover. Sayangnya--entah kenapa lagi--lama-lama mereka ga jualan majalah itu lagi. Baru pas saya tinggal di Obaku, mereka langganan Time yang disediakan buat dibaca di common room. Lumayan buat bacaan kalau sambil nunggu baju kotor dicuci di ruang sebelah.

Saya ngga kangen pengen tinggal di Obaku, buat ke kampus 1 jam sendiri, jalan kaki 15 menit ke Obaku station, lalu dari Demachiyanagi station jalan kaki lagi 15 menit buat ke kampus. Pas berangkat sih OK, jalannya turun, kalo lagi buru-buru bisa lari. Waktu balik? Udah cape, nanjak lagi. Mau beli sepeda juga tanggung, toh tetep harus jalan ini.

Jadinya saya baru punya sepeda setelah pindah deh.

Saya cerita soal sepeda saya sekalian ya, biar puas ngalor-ngidulnya.

Terakhir saya punya sepeda tuh waktu SMP, yang jaraknya mungkin sekitar satu km lebih sedikit dari rumah. Ya sekira jarak apartment saya sekarang lah ke kampus. Sekira dua puluh menit kayuh santai.

Omong-omong, saya ga pernah yakin harus nyebut tempat tinggal saya sekarang apa. Apartemen rasanya terlalu bergengsi, karena asosiasinya sama gedung bertingkat tinggi di pusat kota. Sementara gedung saya tinggal ini cuma 3 lantai. Dorm? Cocok sih buat tempat tinggal saya di Obaku, karena memang itu punya universitas. Tapi tempat sekarang ini kan dikelola swasta. Mau disebut kosan, rasanya seperti bukan kosan, yang punya implikasi ada ibu kos. Tempat ini ga ada supervisornya yang hidup di sini. Bahasa Jepangnya sih 'heya', yang punya arti generik, karena ruangan tempat dosen di prodi juga disebut 'heya'. Nama gedungnya sendiri ada kata 'plaza'-nya.

Ehm, saya melantur. Mari kembali ke sepeda saya saja. Yang paling saya suka adalah fakta bahwa sepeda ini saya terima gratis dari Mbak Kiki waktu dia mau balik ke Indonesia. Katanya sih dia juga dapet dari lungsuran mahasiswa Indonesia juga awalnya. It has character lah.

Kesan pertama waktu saya pertama pakai dari kampus buat ketemu Mbak Kiki buat terakhir kali sebelum paginya dia pulang adalah: ringan banget dikayuhnya. Dan hampir tanpa suara! Maklumlah, sepeda terakhir yang saya pakai itu sepeda jengki, yang tiap dikayuh ada bunyi "sreeet, sreeet, sreeet".

Jadi saya mengayuh dengan bahagia deh buat pertama kalinya, pulang dari kampus ke Apartemen/Dorm/Kosan/Kamar. Apapunlah.

Taunya paginya bannya bocor. :( Memang Mbak Kiki bilang dia jarang pakai sih. Wong kontrakan dia jalan dari kampus ngga sampai 5 menit.

Kalau dipikir-pikir, biar saya dapetnya gratis, saya udah keluar duit lumayan banyak beli ini-itu buat si sepeda item lungsuran ini. Mulai dari jasa tambal ban (pertama kali saya bayar 1680 yen. Sebulan kemudian tambal ban lagi di tempat lain, 790 yen), karet rem baru (dua set, untuk ban depan dan belakang, masing-masing 698 yen), lampu (798), oli (198), pompa (598), bel (397), kawat rem (298), dan tentu saja, jas hujan. Saya sekarang punya tiga jas hujan. yang pertama model standar, satu lembar besar dengan lubang untuk kepala (798), yang tahunya tetep bikin basah jins. Lalu saya nemu ada yang jual jas hujan 270 yen, dengan kancing di depan dan panjangnya sampai separuh paha. Dan tetap bikin jins basah. Pasrah, saya akhirnya beli yang agak mahal sedikit, 1270 yen, jas hujan yang model jaket dan celana.

Selain jas hujan, pertama kali beli karet rem, habis beli, bingung masangnya pakai apa, akhirnya beli pernik-pernik kunci buat buka dan pasang sekrup-sekrupnya deh. 298 yen.

Jadi kalau ditotal, euh, hampir sepuluh ribu yen? Buset.

Mau tahu barang terakhir yang saya beli terkait sepeda ini? Barang terakhir ini agak unik, karena awalnya saya bahkan ga tau saya perlu. Saya cuma tahu kalau setiap ke kampus atau pulang, pantat saya basah. Karena saya pikir ini keringat, maka saya lempar pertanyaan ini di jaringan sosial saya.

Elisa menyarankan kalau mungkin penyebabnya adalah seperti di bawah ini:

Yang membuat saya pasrah. Apa boleh buat toh? Kan ga mungkin saya telanjang pantat ke kampus? ~~Seseksi apapun pantat saya.~~

Tahunya di hari Minggunya saya bosen ngamar, dan pengen keluar sekalian belanja stok makanan. Mumpung lagi agak cerah setelah Sabtu seharian gerimis. Waktu saya membungkuk buat buka kunci rantai sepeda, saya tekan sadelnya untuk tumpuan. Dan "pssssssssh", sponnya mendesis sambil meneteskan air.

OH! Jadi ternyata karena sadelnya berlubang, tiap kali saya duduki, tekanan berat badan saya (yang lebih ringan dari beratnya Tjues :D) membuat sponnya mengeluarkan simpanan airnya. Dan alih-alih menetes ke jalan, celana saya menyerap tampungan air hujannya, yang lalu membuat celana saya basah sampai tujuan.

Jadi sesuai metode ilmiah, sayapun menyusun hipotesa, kalau ada yang menutupi lubang itu, airnya ga akan diserap celana, dan saya pun tetap kering sepanjang hari! Di coop kampus ada yang jual lakban, tapi sorenya di D2 Home Depot saya menemukan penutup sadel. 498 yen. AHA! Ini lebih praktis dan bisa langsung dipasang!*

Dan pantat saya kini tetap terjaga kekeringannya!** :D

Terakhir, ada yang tahu kenapa kata 'gowes' sering dipakai buat sinonim kata 'kayuh'? Menggowes sepeda. Gowes ke Bandung. Kenapa ke barat (Go west?)? Kenapa ga ke timur? Atau utara? Atau ke bawah? Atau kalau bukan dari arah, apakah itu onomatopoeia? Tapi yang bunyinya wesewesewes kan angin yang diusir pake Tolak Angin? Kalau ada yang tahu, boleh lho saya dicerahkan.

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* Tahunya ukurannya ga pas, karena cover itu diproduksi untuk sadel city bike, sementara mountain bike saya sadelnya lebih kecil. Tapi toh yang penting bekerja.

** Mungkin ini sebabnya iklan-iklan pembalut wanita ngomongin kering kali ya?

Fools Rush In

2010-06-27T22:27:00.001+09:00

Ladies and gentlemen, behold the gooey goodness that is Zooey Deschanel*:

I was about to write a lengthy note about how sometimes out of a song, all it takes is just a phrase or a line in its lyrics, or a violin interlude to make it stuck in your head, but then I figured I can't really describe it. It would just be an exercise of futility.

It won't always make sense. What got me hooked to Saint Motel's "Butch" was "I can see us walking down the aisle." Yeah, I know, right? Speaking of which, I actually have a draft about the findings from massive SXSW torrent I downloaded earlier this year.

The best thing about that 8 GB worth of music torrent download was that it's legal. So not only I can feel generally cooler, listening to music from bands no-one ever heard about, it's kinda guilt-free.

We're practically swimming in the sea of illegally obtained music, movies, and series that it's honestly all too easy to take all that for granted. But really, we shouldn't.

Imogen Heap sure is not the only one. While artworks will always be produced, if only for its own sake, isn't it all too obvious that some (good quality) art would never see the light of day because the persons who would've created it thinks that it simply is not worth their time?

Surely it won't kill to once in a while, paying back for things we actually enjoy? After all, we pay for various things we don't need and we don't enjoy. Why should the reverse be applied for music--that entertains us and is actually enjoyable? And just so you know, CDs and live shows are three times as expensive here than in Indonesia**.

Which is why I feel grateful when an artist I like put his/her/their work for free. Or sometimes in exchange of your email address/tweet, but still, in essence, free. You can always delete a tweet later, or filter your mail if they starts flooding your inbox. That's how I got She & Him's "Fools Rush In" for free, in an exchange for Levi's sending mails to my inbox. Rogue Wave's "Solitary Gun"? A tweet.

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* Do pardon the pun, please.

** Remember that there was a time when people actually saves up to buy casettes/records? Talk about caving in to instant gratification.

Tentang Sitkom

2010-06-16T00:17:00.000+09:00

Pernahkah kau melihat pola di balik berbagai tayangan komedi situasi? Meski tidak tepat sama, tapi seolah-oleh ada pola yang diikuti dalam pembuatannya. Coba lihat tiga komedi situasi berikut: The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, dan Better Off Ted.

Tentu saja batasan jumlah tokoh utama tidak bisa dielakkan. Bahkan di luar tiga judul yang disebut di atas, suatu sitkom/serial hanya akan memiliki tokoh penting sekitar lima atau enam. Dan sitkom tersebut jelas akan memiliki:

1. The Rulemaker.

Dengan penokohan yang eksentrik, tidak peduli apa kata orang, dan sering membuat anggota kelompok lainnya menghela nafas panjang. Di HIMYM, ada Barney Stinson yang selalu mengejar wanita; di TBB, ada Sheldon Cooper yang terlalu cerdas; dan di BOT ada Veronica Palmer yang memimpin dengan tangan besi.

Mungkin bahkan bisa disebut bahwa tipe inilah yang menggerakkan unsur komedi dari sitkom tersebut melalui ide gila, syarat yang tidak beralasan, dan tindakan yang tidak masuk akal.

2. The Sensible One

Ted Mosby, Ted Crisp, Leonard Hoffstader. Tokoh ini adalah tokoh yang kemungkinan besar paling mirip dengan pemirsanya. Sadar akan norma sosial tapi terjebak dengan si rulemaker, dan seringkali dibawa plot untuk terombang-ambing dengan..

3. The Pretty One

Di season pertama HIMYM, Ted Mosby langsung tergila-gila dengan Robin Scherbatsky, seperti Leonard pada Penny di TBB. Dari season pertama BOT, Linda Zwordling mulai merasa ada yang istimewa dengan hubungannya dengan Ted Crisp. Terakhir di bagian grup itu, ada:

4. The Couple.

Tidak selalu pasangan romantis seperti Lily dan Marshall di HIMYM, tapi bisa juga seperti Phil dan Lam di BOT, yang sering bersama-sama menjadi obyek teror Veronica. Di TBB jelas ada Raj dan Howard.

Kita tertawa dan terhibur atas kesialan mereka, dan kadang terinspirasi. Kadang pula kita melihat beberapa teman kita dalam tokoh-tokoh yang ditampilkan para aktornya. Lalu apakah art imitates life?

Yang Lama, Yang Baru

2010-06-09T23:58:00.001+09:00

Sebelum saya datang ke Jepang, saya sempat panik mencari ponsel yang kompatibel. Masalahnya, ponsel saya sejak 2007, w810i bukanlah ponsel 3G, jadi jelas tidak mungkin dipakai di sini. Selain itu, saya juga tahu kalau nanti ponsel apapun yang saya bawa dari Indonesia tidak akan berumur panjang. Karena toh agar bisa menggunakan layanan selular di sini saya harus beli kartu yang dibundel dengan ponsel baru.

Saya pun lalu sepakat bertukar ponsel dengan adik saya: W810 menjadi G502. Sama-sama SonyEricsson, saya bisa mengambil kontak lama dengan MyPhoneExplorer. Dari kunjungan singkat terakhir ke Singapura, saya punya SIM card Starhub, yang tinggal diaktifkan jelajahnya ke jepang. Jadi untuk beberapa waktu saya bisa menunda beli ponsel baru.

Sayangnya, Starhub ini kalau terima telepon dari Indonesia di jepang langsung menguras pulsa. Kirim sms ke Indonesia/Singapura/nomer lokal pun sama mahalnya. Akhirnya saya hanya sekali isi ulang kartu Starhub itu sebelum akhirnya beli ponsel. Hmm, jadi ingat: saya berhutang berapa ya ke Septian buat isi pulsa waktu itu?

Akhirnya saya diantar membeli ponsel. Karena kata orang-orang AU paling murah, saya putuskan untuk menjadi pelanggan AU. Di toko itu ada macam-macam model, dan dengan bodohnya saya terbujuk rayu untuk menjadi berbeda dan memilih ponsel dengan merek yang tidak lazim di Indonesia: sharp. Baru belakangan saya sadar: kalau AU pakai jaringan CDMA yang berbeda, jadi waktu pulang tidak bisa dibawa dan difungsikan. Lalu colokan yang berbeda jelas menambah sampah elektronik dan susah cari lingga yang kompatibel.

Namun demikian, adanya ponsel baru ini akhirnya mengistirahatkan G502.

Ponsel baru yang tidak sempurna. Tapi Toh untuk sementara waktu saya gembira: bisa ditelepon lagi, bisa perbarui twitter dari jalan, dll. Hingga saya sadar: AU tak punya fitur SMS. Untungnya tak berapa lama saya menemukan Diolabs. Bukan solusi yang sempurna, tapi terjangkau dan memenuhi kebutuhan saya.

Kejutan kedua adalah tagihan yang datang tak pernah di bawah 5000 yen. Saya kira awalnya ini karena buat aktivasi, tapi setelah bulan ketiga, saya pasrah dan hanya bisa ngegerundel.

Terakhir, selain User Interfacenya sangat tidak bersahabat (untuk input tanda koma saya perlu tekan tombol "0" belasan kali), baterainya juga payah. Dengan waktu bicara yang saya curigai kurang dari 4 jam, percuma saja koneksi lancar dan kencang kalau tak ada daya. Maka saya pun sering bengong saja di kereta, sampai ingat punya bacaan Animorphs di Stanza iPod.

Datanglah bulan april. Berbekal pencarian Google, saya pergi ke Softbank Ebisubashi sendirian. Kenapa sendirian? Karena saya tak tahu lagi mau ngrecokin siapa. Untungnya, semua lancar dan si manager yang fasih empat bahasa itu agak menghibur sementara saya menunggu proses verifikasi. Pertama kali saya dengar orang bercakap-cakap dengan bahasa arab di telepon.

Saya ke Ebisubashi dengan niat membeli pocket wifi. Karena apartemen yang baru tak dilengkapi dengan akses internet dan pendaftaran Hikari perlu kartu kredit yang saya tidak punya, saya kembali ke sistem cicilan paskabayar.

Yang saya suka adalah, kini iPod saya juga bisa terkoneksi internet lewat wifi, dan saya bisa memasang berbagai aplikasi.

Namun kini tiap pagi saya membawa empat item elektronik: sumbat telinga, iPod, pocket wifi dan ponsel. Karena memori masih harus dipakai untuk mengecek dompet, jam tangan, kunci, jaket dan kacamata, jelas akhirnya rawan lupa.

Dan minggu ini saya sudah dua kali ketinggalan ponsel di lab. Seperti yang saya bilang ke Ega dan dibilang oleh Cindy ke saya, ponsel Sharp saya ini kini ibarat istri tua. Tak dipedulikan, tapi kalau ketinggalan toh tak rela rasanya. (apalagi karena saya perlu alarmnya yang super nyaring di pagi hari).

Saya lalu jadi berpikir, mungkin kelakuan ini tidak terbatas di elektronik saja. Waktu SMA kelas satu dan dua, saya duduk semeja dengan teman saya yang namanya Yoga. Entah bagaimana, meja kami sering berdekatan dengan meja Retno dan Nana. Bukan ada masalah atau apa, hanya saja, setahun kemudian kami ada di kelas-kelas yang berbeda. Untuk menyingkat cerita, saya bilang saja we drift apart. And it's such a shame. Di tahun terakhir saya di sekolah itu, saya justru jadi dekat dengan kelompok baru. Yang baru kemarin menghina--dan menghibur saya yang nggak yakin manggar itu apa :)

Di sini saya mau menarik kesamaan dengan ganti-gantinya elektronik saya: begitu bertemu yang baru, yang lama jadi gampang terlupakan. Tapi tidak seperti friendship theoremnya Septian, saya menjadi berjarak bukan karena ada konflik, jadi tak bisa diterapkan. Kami kini masih berteman di Facebook (eh saya belum tambah Yoga jadi teman ding) tapi mungkin sebatas teman yang terbenam di ratusan atau ribuan teman maya yang lain. Yang alay dan yang normal. Yang narsis dan yang pemalu dan yang malu-maluin.

(alinea di bawah ini khusus ada karena saya tahu kakak saya baca blog ini. Say hi, everyone! Or better yet, stop reading)

Karena drift ini berlangsung jadi organik, saya juga tidak yakin akan berujung di mana. Apalagi setelah teman saya pacaran dengan kakak saya. Ya bagaimana ya, saya memang agak dingin dan susah berubah; jadi setelah ada jarak, ya agak awkward saja. To rephrase: I'm totally ok (i swear), but it might need something extraordinaire to--uh, you know, us to bond again. No hard feeling, tapi kalau ada beberapa hal yang sifatnya TMI dari teman *dan* kakak, saya perlu waktu untuk memprosesnya. Beberapa milenia cukup kok. Hehehe.

Eh saya jadi melantur ke mana-mana kan? Padahal awalnya cuma ingin bernostalgia dengan W810i malah berujung ke nostalgia SMA (yang membuat saya merasa tua; saya salahkan anak-anak sma yang baru lulus kemarin dengan segala dramanya!). Saya punya firasat besok tes kanji susulan bakal acakadut, jadi mengutip Apu pada pengunjung Kwik-E-Mart, "Thank you, come again!"

The Park

2010-06-03T17:23:00.000+09:00

To be diplomatic, the take away from my visit to Hiroshima and Tokyo is this: I learned more mankind and myself. Which should be valuable in the long run, I hope. While in the short run, I’m all out of money: lodging, transport. Talk about burning hole in my pocket.

But I, again, digress. Let’s now start with Hiroshima. The purpose of my visit was… doesn’t matter. :P Just let me tell you about the peace memorial park. It’s a vast park hosting, among others, various monuments dedicated to various facets of the atomic bombing. It’s also where the Dome and the Museum located.

Genbaku Dome in a chilly morning.

As I expected, it was the museum that succeeded to steal my attention. But it was different. I thought that I would be most bothered by the remains of the bomb victims: actual nails, locks of hair, and what-not. After all, that’s what was emphasized on David Sedaris’ account of the museum in When You Are Engulfed in Flames. “Each exhibit was sadder than the last,” he said.

But such is the beauty of a museum. It has different appeal for different people. Sick appeal.

Before I get too tedious, with my rambling, let me just say what really, really bothers me the most: the reason why Japan was chosen as the target of atomic bomb. Not Germany, not Italy.

In a nutshell, it was this: US believed that JP technology was less advanced than German’s; so should the bomb failed to explode, the likelihood of JP army (or navy?) being able to retrieve and picking out the bomb’s technology was slimmer.

That was point one. Lack of knowledge possession can indeed harm a country.

Two, is why the destruction wreaked was so massive. US made a list of potential A-bomb target cities before the actual bombing. The cities under the list was spared from air raids just so when it’s finally hit, the extent of the damage of an atomic bomb can be observed with certainty that those are the damage of an atomic bomb alone. No respect whatsoever of human lives. And if I got my memory straight, there was very little time window between the warning and the strike.

Not that it mattered, anyway. With the toxic black rain that comes after the initial strike and the residual radiation, I wondered if it really was better to perish under the mini-sun (the temperature of explosion was around 5000K, equivalent to the effective temperature of the sun).

It was unfathomable that US has no idea an A bomb will create massive devastation. So why go along with it? Here’s the lesson I learnt:

Men are petty.

Hiroshima was chosen because there was no PoW camp detaining Allied forces there. See, this is typical human. When I have no interest to be protected, might as well swing free. Just how many times we’ve seen conflicts/war/disaster in faraway lands and not moved even an inch to help? But come a conflict where someone we know lives there, and we raise hell.

Also, along the line of the declassified memo, I grasp that there was a pressure to use the atomic bomb against the enemy. Around that time, Japan was already on her knees. Even if the bomb had never been deployed, I believe we would’ve still seen her surrender. Germany had surrendered sometimes earlier, so, again, why bombing it still?

The answer was because Project Manhattan’s budget had ballooned to an astronomical scale. Had the war ended without its contribution, people who run the project would have been put under heavy scrutiny by the US congress. Which means that:

All that matter for men is to save their own asses.

Even further, the action was supported anyway, because the US wanted to limit Soviet’s influence on post-war reconstruction in Japan. At the time of the blow, Soviet had not been openly declared war with Japan, so their contribution to the result can be discounted. In other word, the whole thing is basically a

Battle of ego.

Sadly, I didn’t get very clearly why Nagasaki also got bombed several days later. But suffice it to say that I will need a huge leap of faith to believe in altruism ever again.

The saddest part is that from that time on, the mayor of Hiroshima always send a letter of appeal to countries conducting nuclear weapon test each time a test is conducted. They have a huge wall filled with the copy of all the letters sent. Impassionate, rational pleas. All but fall to deaf ears.

From that point on, every time I’m in a debate and got the side arguing for nuclear weapon, it feels like a little part of something dies within me.

Which if you happen to read my Tokyo chronicles, it really is my luck, no?

Bahasa, Language, 言語, Basa

2010-05-24T23:10:00.009+09:00

Belajar bahasa baru adalah belajar melatih kesabaran. It teaches you humility, throws you back to the simplest of sentences. Ora gampang, tapi yen wis ngerti bakal iso pamer. 英語とインドネシア語と日本語とジャワ語。

Do I read a lot? Not enough, I think. Because what I read mostly are (young adults) fiction. I can't flaunt that I've read Marx or some influential bigwig biographies. Meanwhile, Jeff Lindsay's Dexter thoroughly entertained me.

I was bored out of my mind reading Stiglitz's Globalization and Its Discontent. I never finished Abraham. Dawkins' The God Delusion? Halfway. I have no curiosity to read Mein Kampf. I steer away from self-help books. Partly because I think "Who Moved My Cheese?" was a miss. That much money, for a 5-minute worth of reading.

And for some reason, I remember the last of YLI workshop series that I attended. There were six or seven persons in a table, and each table was given a book. We're supposed to negotiate among ourselves who got the book. I don't even remember the title, My Brother's Honeymoon? Honeymoon with My Sister? I don't remember who got the book, but it was a girl.

And suddenly a sliver of regret come across my mind. It must have been a good book, seeing that the facilitators went to the trouble of picking out the book. Did I miss an opportunity? Why did I refused it flat-out in the beginning?

Oh, what-ifs, life wouldn't be complete without you, would it?

Waktu Ega menulis tentang merasa tersinggung, saya terusik. Penasaran, kalau saya ada di posisi dia apa saya juga akan tersinggung. Sayang dia tak mau cerita.

Eh tapi ada yang marah dibilang "udah item, hidup lagi". Sampai-sampai si empunya kata diskors tiga semester. Kalau yang biasa ditujukan ke saya sih, kata sifatnya ditambah satu lagi: gendut. Tapi kok saya nggak berasa pengen gorok orang ya?

Sempat juga Luna Maya kelepasan bicara--maaf, twit--menyamakan wartawan dengan profesi tertua di dunia. Heboh tak terkira.

Lalu ada juga orang yang mengumpat, "Dasar homok!". Pakai "k", biar mantep. Kalau kebetulan yang diumpat orientasi seksualnya memang ke sesama jenis, tersinggungkah dia? (atas umpatannya, bukan huruf "k" nya).

Di SEF, kata-kata macam "Cino!" atau "Padang!" atau bahkan "Jawa!" dulu sering saya dengar. Kadang-kadang juga ditujukan ke saya. Tersinggung? Ngga.

Ada yang bikin gambar-gambar Nabi Muhammad. Saya lihat, tapi kok reaksi saya cuma bisa membatin kalau gambarnya jelek-jelek dan kasar ya?

Tampaknya jelas kalau batasan saya bukan batasan normal. Tapi lalu harus ditarik di manakah garis batas itu?

03*

ゴールデンウィークに私は友達と東京へディベートの大会に行きました。

京都から東京までハイウエーバスで行きました。その大会は東京のICUが催しました。そこには200人ぐらいがいました。そして、とてもにぎやかでした。私たちのチームはクオーターファイナルのラウンドでわせだ大学に負けました。

3日間後に新幹線で帰りました。次の日は先生のホームパーティに行きました。天気が良かったから、バーベキューをしました。

ゴールデンウィークは忙しかったですが、とてもおもしろかったです。

Saumpama paribasan "witing tresna jalaran saka kulina" kuwi pancèn bener, kudunè saiki aku wis bener-bener seneng karo astronomi.

Tekan saiki, yen diitung, ameh enem tahun sinau astronomi: setaun ing pelatihan lomba olimpiade, petang tahun kuliah, lan ameh setaun ing Jepang.

Tapi pancèn dasarè menungsa mesthi ana wae sing ra kebeneran, seprana-seprene ing jepang isanè sambatan kepengen bali.

--------

*Sebenarnya si turnamen itu bukan pas Golden Week sih, tapi karena pas GW sebenarnya saya ngerem di kamar untuk mengerjakan terjemahan, rasanya ngga pas buat dikumpulin di kelas Elementary Writing. Yes, it's a copy of my assignment.

Commonplace congratulation

2010-05-20T19:04:00.000+09:00

What to do when congratulations become quotidien?
What to do when I need a congratulation that's more than the ordinary?
Whatever that is, I am proud I was--and I hope still am--a part of Student English Forum Institut Teknologi Bandung, Champion of ALSA UI E-competition 2010, EFL League of United Asian Debating Championship 2010, National Debating Competition Unpad 2010, Indonesian Varsities English Debate 2010. I raise my proverbial glass for them. And wishing them all the best of luck for JOVED and NUEDC!

Actually, proud is an understatement for this warm fuzzy feeling I got when I heard the news. Or was it too much weird concoction that tried to pass as sambel the night before?

Tentang Memenggal Nama

2010-05-02T13:13:00.003+09:00

Normalnya, orang Indonesia punya nama 2-4 kata. Kalau ada yang namanya 5 atau 6 bagian, berarti orang tuanya kreatif atau bener-bener niat ikut program KB. Kalau mereka rencana punya anak banyak, namanya bisa dibagi buat beberapa anak tuh.

Nama saya terdiri dari 3 bagian. Dan tahukah Anda bahwa kata Masyhur adalah salah satu lema dalam KBBI?

Omong-omong lagi tentang nama di Indonesia, apakah Anda pernah memperhatikan kalau semua nama panggilan pasti ada versi suku kata tunggal-nya untuk memanggil dan menyapa? Misal ada teman Anda namanya Joko, pasti kalau manggil jadi "Jok, Jok, beliin cendol dong." atau kalau nama teman Anda Endang, jadi "Ndang! Buang kucing itu!"

You get the idea.

Trus kalau Masyhur? Pemenggalannya yang benar ya Masy-hur. Tapi cuma ada dua orang yang mengikuti kaidah ini: teman saya Tomo yang manggil Masy (atau Mash ya?), dan Toto yang manggil "Hur, Hur."

Sisanya? Ada tiga kategori:

- yang pemenggalannya ga sesuai tapi ngejanya bener: "Syhur, Syhur" di kategori ini ada misalnya, Ria.

- yang manggil saya mas, bisa karena saya lebih tua, atau ngikutin nama panggilan saya di rumah: Mamas. Yah, orang-orang rumah yang ga ada darah Sunda mana tahu kalau saya akhirnya kuliah di Bandung? Omong-omong, kalau Anda belum tahu, ‘mamas’ di bahasa Sunda digunakan untuk menyebut penis. So there.

- orang yang salah eja, dan manggil saya dengan jadi either 'masur', 'mansyur', ato 'mansur'. Golongan ketiga ini mayoritas adanya. *hela nafas* Versi satu suku katanya: "sur"

Ada lagi golongan pencilan: adik saya, yang manggil saya "le" *rolling eyes*

Karena saking seringnya dipanggil orang-orang golongan ketiga, lama-lama jadi kebiasaan juga. Kalau saya dipanggil oleh Tomo atau Toto suka nggak nyaut. Masalah kebiasaan saja Awal-awal di sini, karena memperkenalkan diri pakai nama ‘Hilmy’ (kalau Farah bilang: Hirumii), suka ngga nyaut juga.

Yang saya heran adalah nama Aziz. Populer, tapi entah kenapa sering salah dieja juga, jadi ‘azis’. Atau, lebih parah lagi, ‘ajis’. Yang cuma beda satu huruf dengan najis. Tapinya, ‘aziz’ dieja dengan katakana, jadinya a-ji-zu. Ya sudahlah ya.

Kontradiktif memang: orang-orang tua ingin memberi nama-nama keren, tapi masyarakat belum siap menerimanya *ditoyor*. Paling tidak sisi positifnya adalah: orang-orang seperti saya akan menjadi banyak dan bisa bersimpati satu sama lain! Anyone with me for TALIMAS/komuniTAs pemiLIk naMA Susah? :P

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kalau saya ditanya pengennya dipanggil kayak gimana, saya paling suka opsi satu. Boleh kok kalau bener ngejanya trus pamer/ngeluh dikit ke saya, kayak misalnya sms "Syhur (buset panjang bener sih manggil lu biar bener ngejanya), dateng latihan jam 3 ya." Yah, kayak Norman atau Aino gitu.

The tweet here inspired this post.

Also related: apalah artinya sebuah nama! more spelling and names? cerita sebuah bon. (actually, banyak bon)

Ngalor-ngidul Ngomongin Negara Lain

2010-04-23T18:16:00.001+09:00

Saya sebenarnya ingin bercerita tentang orang-orang di tempat belajar baru saya, tapi karena niatnya lebih ke ghibah, saya bikinnya di ceruk saya yang satu lagi. Saya kasih password saja sekalian lah ya.

Jadi saya sekarang ingin bercerita tentang teman saya yang lain lagi. Awalnya saya menyapanya karena ingin minta pendapat hal remeh tentang kemampuan bahasa. Setelah ngalor-ngidul sedikit, dia bercerita kalau dia sedang mengurus masalah pindah kewarganegaraan. Dia bilang, katanya mau pindah ke negara subtropis itu.

Yang bikin saya tercenung justru ini: sejak saya hidup di Jepang, rasanya saya kok malah menggapai-gapai sisa-sisa akar Indonesia saya. Lebih spesifik lagi: mencari warna Jawa saya. Jelas saya tidak sendiri sebagai Jawa murtad: nggak bisa ngomong Jawa dengan unggah-ungguh yang sesuai, malas diajak ngobrol basa-basi dengan tetangga-tetangga yang lebih tua karena rasanya pakewuh kalo ngga pake bahasa yang bener, tapi toh nggak tahu caranya. Jelas ada banyak jamur yang saya kenal, tapi rasanya kalau jamur yang lahir-besar-hidup 18 tahun di daerah yang notabene bukan area perkotaan besar, rasanya saya baru nemu satu: saya sendiri.

Um, mungkin sama adik/kakak saya ding. Tapi rasanya mereka lebih bisa bersosialisasi. Oh, omong-omong, maksud saya jamur itu Jawa murtad.

Jadilah saya sekarang orang Jawa, yang tidak bisa berbahasa Jawa, hidup di Jepang yang jauh nian, dan hanya mampu berlangganan beberapa blog bahasa Jawa di RSS reader saya. Kalau anda pengen tahu, boleh lho dicek, di sebelah kiri laman di yang saya taut di sini ada folder "jawa".

Tapi mari kita balik lagi ke masalah kewarganegaraan. Pertama kali saya ke luar negeri waktu SMA, saya ingat waktu di mobil menuju Simeiz dari Sevastopol, saya sempat berpikir, "Kayaknya kalau hidup di sini enak juga nih," sambil memandangi lahan-lahan yang memang rata-rata kosong dan hanya ditumbuhi semak-semak di sepanjang jalan. Mungkin secara intrinsik manusia pengen tahu bagaimana rasanya tinggal di luar negeri kali ya. Kalau kata teman saya yang lain lagi, urip kuwi sawang sinawang: kita melihat orang lain, membandingkan diri, dan berandai-andai jadi orang itu. Hidup di Indonesia: nggak bisa naik bis tanpa ketemu pengamen, ngga bisa berhenti di lampu merah tanpa ketemu pengemis, ngga bisa ke stasiun tanpa ditawarin porter atau calo tiket. Semuanya jadi berasa lebih baik di negeri orang. For better or for worse, beberapa hari setelahnya saya berturut-turut: mengalami insiden kantor pos, melihat pedagang buku dengan aksara cyrilic yang asing, dan secara umum makan makanan yang ngga ada rasanya. satu rombongan akhirnya menghabiskan condiment yang ada di meja tiap kali makan (masih ingat waktu saya cerita insiden babi?). Tahunya lagi, beberapa bulan setelah saya pulang, Ukraina beberapa kali ditampilkan di halaman depan Kompas: unjuk rasa di lapangan pusat kota Kiev, pendukung oranye versus pendukung biru, dan drama calon PM yang diracun hingga wajahnya menjadi buruk rupa.

Intinya, saya sekarang dalam kondisi sawang sinawang sama teman saya yang pertama saya ceritakan di awal tulisan ini. setahu saya dia nggak menguasai bahasa negara tujuannya. tapi dengan sukarela .... Ya sudahlah ya. Saya sendiri sekarang nggak berpikir pengen jadi warga negara Jepang. Baca saja belum lancar. Dan sekarang saya sekedar menghitung hari. Untuk kembali. Ada apa setelah kembali? Kita pikir saja nanti.

Terrific Tuesday

2010-04-13T15:46:00.002+09:00

I thought I'd better not blog about the Kings of Convenience live show last week (and keep it all solely in my memory), but then I decided against myself during another round of toilet epiphany. Also, initially a bit torn whether to post this in my posterous or this blog (as posterous will create a nice alliteration with my intention: for posterity's sake).

The events leading up to the event itself was not entirely favorable, having realised that I had inadvertently missed out Jamie Cullum live show the night before because I mixed up the date. The trip from Kyoto itself also was not pleasant: neither during the bus ride to Kyoto station or the train ride to Shin Osaka station I got a seat. Almost two hours fidgeting on my feet. I was, however, pleasantly surprised finding out the Kyoto-Osaka train ride was faster than I expected.

So I came to Club Quattro, and silently stifle my excitement upon seeing that the venue was really no bigger than the multimedia room in TVST ITB. I mean, yay, it won't be a mob-like crowd! The only thing I regret was upon seeing that all the seats are taken, I then decided to secure a spot against a railing in the back. Still a great view (I made sure I had my glasses with me when I left for campus), but considerably further from the stage. When I first arrived, there was still ample room in the front, but I can't really bear the thought of having to stand up for a long while.

Stage not that far, even from where I stand.

The show itself started a bit late, around ten or fifteen past seven, and when the duo showed up (I remembered thinking this upon seeing Eirik Boe: the hair. it's like he's coming straight from the Riot album art), they started playing right away.

Now here comes the part where my description won't do justice: I am sad to say that the show didn't magically alleviate me of tired legs. I can't say that they seemed like deities, and partly glad of that. And they put on one great show.

See? Even I can't comprehend what I was trying to say.

Anyway, it was a very engaging show. Which at some points reminds me of waiting Apresiasi Sastra class to start, listening to their Live in Rome recording. It was a little bit like that and then some. If you didn't catch the show at another city, give it a listen. Even from audio recording alone, you can feel the vibe.

Several songs into the show, Erlend Oye disappeared quite a while from the stage to look for water and towel, and when he came back, he was bringing extra water bottles and paper cups for people near the stage! I looked at my own drink, empty long before the show started, and the bar was closed during the show. So that was a major reason of my regret being in the back railing*.

The water part come as no surprise, really, because the room, being packed, was a bit hot. I myself took off my sweater not long after the show started. I think it was when Erlend went looking for the water, Eirik said to the audience that he needed to unbutton his shirt a bit more. Naturally, somebody in the audience then shouted, "Take off your pants!**"

Another memorable bit of their performance was when they played I'd rather dance with you. Erlend actually went down from the stage and dance in the middle of the audience! I really can't imagine him doing that in Sabuga. (If you were in Sabuga and he did exactly that, please, please, please don't burst my little happiness bubble here.)

It was overall a really great show, I can't imagine a better way of spending a Tuesday night, or a better way to spend 5800 yen (and 500 for drink) here. I really wouldn't have mind if the show continue for another hour; I wished I had snapped some pictures during the show (my search for pics from the show on flickr two days later was not fruitful); I cursed my iPod for failing to save the audio recording, but hey, we can't all have what we wanted, can we?

After all, it was a night I spend most of it smiling inside.

----
*Yes, I know what you're muttering: Murah. But it didn't really surprise you, isn't it? Coming from a guy happily eaten free lunch in Kobe before he was tricked into present in--oh nevermind.
**I'm not sure, tapi rasanya yang teriak ini adalah bapak-bapak bule botak yang tinggi halfway the distance between me and the stage. Which made me realized (even more) kalo banyak penontonnya yang bule. Hence my tweet about height that night :D

Being Atlas

2010-04-05T15:19:00.000+09:00

So we were talking about different extremes of the same spectrum: homicide and suicide. I remember blurting out comparison with Atlas: it's not like the burden of the heaven rests on our shoulders. I vaguely recall being vindicated, as the other end of conversation suggests that we would see a lot more suicides if the world indeed rests on our shoulders.

But is that really so? Sometime later I found me comparing myself on different situations. Whenever I have people rely on me, perhaps for direction of what turn to take, I willingly step down the car and ask any nearby person. Looking for way out of subway, I can be more assertive.

Conversely, when no-one depends on me, I revert back to being languid. Case in point: myself at present. I don't feel the school is such a big deal and hence my inertia.

Even in the realm of fiction, this is somewhat similar. Take a look Harry Potter--or Percy Jackson, or practically every other protagonist ever penned: the burden of the world suddenly thrusted to their shoulders and they at the very least try to stand their ground. So could it be that what's keeping it together for mankind is the sense of importance? The sense that when we fail, the world is also doomed with us? That we are the only one able to make difference?

If I was a piece of furniture I would be...

2010-03-22T21:42:00.002+09:00

If I was a piece of furniture I would be...
Originally uploaded by creativemornings

At first thought, If I was a piece of furniture I would be that well-worn bolster pillow that no-one would want to get close with on first impression. But for those who worn the pillow, I'll be indispensable. At least until rationale took over and the voice saying, "It's unsanitary," grow stronger.

But that pic says everything I want to say. In one word. Damn.

The Spree

2010-03-10T17:37:00.000+09:00

This, after 130K JPY for new place to live, 12K for lodging while in Hiroshima, and an estimate of 20K to go Hiroshima and back. That's not included this month rent, mobile phone, electricity, and health insurance, of about 25K. Expensive? You bet.

Madness? Probably. Two live show tickets, Jamie Cullum and Kings of Convenience, only a day apart. And a new book.

I dare you to guess the total expense.

Tentang Buah

2010-03-06T14:36:00.002+09:00

Ibu guru dulu bilang, buah dan sayuran adalah bagian dari empat sehat lima sempurna. Biar tetap sehat, katanya. Vitamin dan serat baik untuk raga. Anehnya, biar sayuran semua dianggap setara, begitu tentang buah semua mau angkat bicara.

Biarlah, toh semua orang punya buah kesukaan masing-masing.

Karena lembut rasa dagingnya, ada yang cinta durian. Aromanya semerbak, rasanya memabukkan. Meski banyak dijual di jalanan, banyak pula yang hanya bisa memendam hasrat yang mengawang.

Tapi orang bule tak suka durian. Di kamar hotel mewah durian dilarang, sama seperti binatang piaraan. Katanya tak boleh membawa benda berbau tajam. Sebagian lain bilang kulitnya yang berduri bikin upaya tak sepadan. Sampai-sampai ada peribahasa menunggu keruntuhan durian.

Lalu ada yang bilang apel itu buah surga. Yang bikin terusirnya Adam dan Hawa, kena murka Yang Maha Kuasa. Manis, berair dan penuh gizi, tak heran banyak pula yang suka. Kadang-kadang biar singset makan satu hari cukup apel saja.

Dan lagi-lagi ada yang murka. Katanya itu buah dari Barat budayanya. Kalau kita cukuplah mangga saja. dibilang pula itu apel yang membuat Adam berjakun dan Hawa punya buah dada. Buah dada, sumber godaan para pria. Bikin naik turun buah adam saja.

Sementara ada yang tergila-gila dengan mangga. Emas warna dagingnya, lembut dan manis di lidah kita. Bagaimana tidak? Editorial Kompas tahun enamlima sampai menduga, mungkin bukan apel tapi manggalah si buah surga. Aromanya wangi tak terkira, manggalah buah tropis yang paling prima.

Tentu saja tak semua memuja mangga. Buah musiman, mana bisa memuaskan dahaga sepanjang kala? Belum lagi seratnya yang melilit gigi. Kalau tidak hati-hati malah bikin repot sendiri.

Kasihan pula nasib tomat. Merah ranum nan menggoda, banyak orang mempertanyakan statusnya.
"Sayuran!" kata sebagian.
"Itu buah!" bela yang pendapatnya berlainan.

Tentu saja tomat tak sendiri. Ada cabai yang juga jadi anak tiri. Kadang mereka bersua, dan bersama garam, bawang, dan terasi berkomplot membuat orang menitikkan air mata.

Para pramuka berpendapat paling superior ya buah kelapa. Tak tanggung-tanggung, mereka kibarkan lambang tunas kelapa kemana-mana. Sambil hafalkan dwidarma dan dasadarma.

Mungkin tak hanya anak-anak yang tak suka pramuka, apalagi buah kelapa. Disuruh datang oleh pembina, uh malas tak terkira!

Lain lagi kisah buah jeruk. Jingga kulitnya, sedap dipandang mata. Harumnya bikin orang bernafas lega. Kini ruangan aroma jeruk jamak rasanya.

Tapi jeruk pun tak tanpa cela. Dituduh tak konsisten dengan buah sesaudara. Dibandingkan dengan jeruk nipis yang kecil masam, disandingkan dengan jeruk bali yang besar hambar.

Untung jeruk bali hatinya besar. Bilang kulitnya bisa dibikin mobil-mobilan dengan roda bundar. Biar tak akurat yang penting tak bikin tangis anak-anak terus-terusan diumbar.

Begitulah jika para tukang buah berlaga. Tak ada yang bisa memuaskan segalanya. Tukang durian membenci tukang mangga, tukang jeruk dan tukang kelapa banyak kelainya.

Maka ketika saya datang ke perkumpulan lengkeng tanpa sengaja, tak kaget lagi banyak yang umbar kata-kata cela dan hina. Lengkeng, kecil buahnya, manis rasanya, rupanya hitam legam bijinya. Tak tampak berbahaya, tapi toh sama saja dengan buah lainnya.

Tidakkah ini membuat Anda bertanya, bagaimana pendapat buah itu sendiri antar sesama? Toh pans buah dan es shanghai segar tak terkira. Mungkin hanya tukang buahnya yang perlu ganti kacamata kuda.

Tapi jangan disangka ini metafora. Saya tak benci durian, apel atau mangga. Kalau saya diberi jeruk, tomat dan kelapa saya terima saja. Saya hanya sedang ingin semangka.

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Gambar durian dari sini, lengkeng dari sini, sambel dari sini, mangga dari sini. gambar mangga oleh fir0002 sesuai lisensi GFDL
Saya baru saja mengecek kotak pesan suara saya, dan ternyata saya diajak ikut perkumpulan lengkeng lagi besok sore! Sheesh.

On marking mistakes

2010-03-04T19:03:00.000+09:00

So the plenary session was shameful. Anyone with half the intelligence of a feline will know that was disgraceful.

On the other hand, some say that the brouhaha is a forward step than the sleeping House. The dumb and blind yea-sayer.

Surely there's a middle ground?

Also, this is today's question: aren't we the one who puts them there to begin with? So when we shame them, in effect, are we not shaming out our own past incapability to make an informed decision?

Seeing all this, then vowing ignorance in future election will be one of the most dangerous thing to choose.

Admittedly, ignorance is the easy way out. it also require no hard work on our part.

But where should we start to disentangle the messiness that is Indonesian politics? Let's know everything that is there to know about. Let's find out everything about this Century bailout. Then, let's make a decision of our own.

Let's not support Sri Mulyani or Boediono simply because a lot of people say so. Or, god forbid, because that’s what foreign press says. On the other hand, let's not hate and debase them just because some people shout bailout is evil on the top of their lungs. Let's decide for ourselves.

We often argue that the people, the grassroots level people are capable of making a sound and rational decision. We are those people. If we say we are smart and rational, let's act like it.

We shall mark those who can perform, and those who fail to deliver in today's Senayan so that we don't make the same mistake twice.

Decision by elimination process. it sometimes is the best guide to determine the best estimate. Also, this way we shall not be daunted by the sheer number of candidates come the next election time. Or by the glossy blurbs and TV spots.

Let's also be optimist. What are the chances that we can't find a handful of men and women truly worthy of our votes in the future? When we have 229.965.000 of people, even the smallest possibility may result in tangible number.

And come 2014, let's not forget everything that has unfolded.

Kalau saja Hitler..

2010-03-02T12:02:00.002+09:00

Kalau Hitler mirip saya, maka tak mungkin banyak orang menderita. Karena waktu diberitahu total pengeluaran biaya perang maka dia akan balik melotot, "BERAPA?"

Kalau Hitler mirip saya, mungkin lebih banyak warga Yahudi yang tidak disiksa. Terutama karena saya tak pernah bisa membedakan yang Jawa dan yang Sunda. Apalagi rambut pirang dan kulit terang? Bagi saya mirip semua.

Kalau Hitler mirip saya, mungkin perang dunia tak perlu ada. Kalau saya diajak memperluas tahta, saya tolak saja, toh tak perlu Polandia kalau sudah punya tanah Austria.

Kalau Hitler mirip saya, tak perlu ada ide kreasi ras adidaya. Apalagi ras sendiri, karena lebih sering saya frustasi dengan sifat budaya sendiri. Tak malu-malu kalau tak tepat waktu, tapi begitu ada mau, bicara tak bertuju.

Kalau Hitler mirip saya, mungkin setelah mati jasadnya tak jadi rebutan di mana-mana. Karena kalau Hitler mirip saya, dia tak banyak beda dengan orang biasa.

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Anda mungkin suka juga: Aku bayangkan Indonesia jadi adidaya

Delivery Menu: Books

2010-02-27T01:26:00.000+09:00

When I say that the Internet is the most powerful thing there is, you'd better believe me. Also, you'd better believe me when I say it is vast. It's easy to get lost (and then found something out of it).

All I wanted was just tidying up my Google Reader subscription, and one of the drop-down menu on the left suggested a feed for City of Letters blog. And who am I to refuse a recommendation?

So that's how I wound up knowing about readingwalk. And I thought, this is a pretty neat solution for a creature of habit, like me. They decribe themselves as a delivery book rental. Which basically means you can borrow a book by placing order on their web or by sms, and they'd have the book delivered to your frontdoor.

To be honest, this is exciting, as I don't think this is a new concept, but rather, it takes an established idea, and then maxed it up for the customers' convenience.

Because let's face it, how often do we plan going to a bookstore other than on whimsical basis, say while waiting for a friend in a mall? So how many books we end up reading? As much as I enjoyed reading ebooks on my iPod Touch screen, it's always nice to be able to touch the paper. And for a good mystery reading, flip-flip-flip, oh there's the clue I missed earlier!

OK, so I am partial to childhood nostalgic moment when I was reading Detektif Cilik Hawkeye Collins & Amy Adams, only to be unable to recognize the series other than by saying that, "One of the character is named Hawkeye," during my later teenage years. And seeing the series on their list of 'Petualangan' books was all it takes to excite me.

And of course if you'd prefer the more serious ones, there's Tetralogi Pulau Buru and other Pramoedya's books. and this is where the rental concept comes in handy, those books aren't exactly cheap, I remembered shelling out significant money for those books.

On the other hand, the categories are rather impressive as well. Comics? Check. Magazines? Pernikahan, Desain Interior, and Traveling. Books categories? Covering Metropop to Bisnis&Manajemen to Desain Grafis (and many more), I say there's a healthy chance you'll find what you want there. Or else, one of the book on their booklist might appeal you while perusing the gallery.

I'm thinking it has similarities with Netflix here. And just like Netflix's potential to let its customer see more (and learn more), readingwalk surely has what it takes to make us read more (and hence learn more). Even if it's just to relive the feeling of being a child again, see the world with wide-eyed curiosity, just like we did when we were little. Or by helping us learning something new, or ignite the longing to see somewhere new.

Because that's what I feel after I read J.P.V.F.K. (Jakarta-Paris Via French Kiss) by Syahmedi Dean. Obviously I know nothing about the fashion world (Project Runway is just not my thing), and this book is a neat example how reading something can expand your knowledge horizon beyond your usual idea diet. Also, if The Naked Traveler doesn't make you feel like backpacking to some exotic places, then I don't know what will.

A little friendly caveat, though: if you're using Opera, you might want to turn on Opera Turbo. For some reason, the site took it's time to load up, and for a great many of you it'll be a deal breaker. Just persevere. Or try their Facebook page.

Oh, and apparently they're only serving East Jakarta and Bekasi area. But surely it won't hurt if you pester them to expand their service? If you also like the idea.

Now I wonder, do they have Kopi Merah Putih? And if you wonder if this is a contest submission, it is.

Me?

2010-02-20T23:08:00.000+09:00

I look at the mirror and I ask, "Who are you?"
But all I get is an uncomfortable silence.

Skiing - II

2010-02-18T03:33:00.000+09:00

When it comes to skiing, unless you have a terminal illness that can only be miraculously cured by rolling on snow as long as possible while trying to slide downhill, it is generally inadvisable to:

- Pick a ski resort that took 10 hours to get to and 11 hours to get back from.
or,
- Pick a ski resort that has little or no information in English (or any other language you master).

Particularly if you are:

- A total beginner in snow-sport.
- Have an irrational fear of heights.
- Speed averse, or generally risk averse.
- Forgot to pack any Counterpain or similar medication.

But if you prefer not to heed my friendly advice, then:

- Be prepared to pay 15800 yen for transport, lodging, and ski board+clothing rental, plus 1400 yen for gloves and goggles and insurance for the ski equipment, plus however much you want to spend on drinks from vending machine and other food (in my case, 600 yen for 3 bottles of drinks from vending machine, and 625 more for food on before the bus return to Kyoto).
- Pack a DSLR, because everyone has them, just so you can say "Mau hunting foto dulu." and generally feel cooler. (Me? I didn't even bother to bring any camera at all). But handphone is OK to snap some decent pics for posterity's sake. Like below

- Either use your glasses or leave it in your bag. If you thought that you need perfect vision, you don't. And if you realized that only later, do not put your glasses inside your pocket. particularly if you're going to fall a lot and leave your glasses a mess like this:

- Refrain from the urge to bitchslap the person sitting next to you on the 11-hour bus ride because he is taking up a lot of space by refusing to put his backpack on the luggage and insisting on window seat and consequently awaken me on the aisle seat everytime he wanted to get out.
- Take into consideration that when you arrive back at the (Kyoto) station at 5am you might need to wait some time (30mins) before the first train is operational. all while enduring aches on your ass, arm, neck, leg, and back.

In my case, after finally aboard the local train to Obaku, I realized that it would be much more convenient if I used a taxi from Obaku to the International House. Trouble is: I have no idea how to spell my address in Japanese. And just my luck, as I exited the gate, the only taxi available was already got a passenger and seconds later speeding away.

Leaving me in the rain. Aching. With 1 kilometers to walk before I got to my room.

Beloved

2010-02-17T09:01:00.000+09:00

I know I'll be parting ways with you soon. But I'll always have you in my heart.

Bandung - Klaten - Jogja - Surabaya - Mataram - Jakarta - Lembang - Bandar Lampung - Denpasar - Singapore - Bangkok - Osaka - Kyoto - Uji - Nagoya - Kobe - Nagano

2008-2010

Skiing

2010-02-16T08:19:00.004+09:00

When I was in my final year in high school, every morning was like clockwork. I will wake up at 600 or 605, and then take a bath, get dressed, locate missing clothing uniform article, have breakfast, ensure I bring the right book for the day, locating keys, wallet, and registration, and I have to be out on my motorbike at latest by 630.

School started at 650, which means only 20 minutes available to cover 13-or-so km from home to school.

Along the way, there's a train crossing, which means I need to time it accurately so I didn't stuck on the wrong side. Also, other people whose school started at 700.

My best time was 17 minutes, and because there are turns and intersections and sloping road with paddy fields on my right and left, my speed varies along the way. Precisely for that reason I always tried to speed up to 80-100 km/h where available to make up the lost time.

I am proud to say that I had zero accident on my way going to school at that year. The only accidents I had when I was in high school happens one and two years before that.

Both alone, just me on the road trying to get home and to a additional physics lesson, respectively, when for no particular reason my minds drifted off, spacing out and then..

WHAM! BLAM!

Hey, I was on the road and my motorbike is 2 meters away from me! Some bleeding then got involved, and after I got home, rest for a day, and I will ache and feel sore all over where my body meets asphalt.

This is how I feel right now. after the skiing. Which shouldn't be a surprise because I am never good at sports. So I fell a lot.

The difference? On a single bike accident, there was only one instance where the forceful impact happen. on two-day ski trip? I didn't even bother to count. I fell on my ass, on my right shoulder, left, back, leg, face, gut, chest.

And for that I paid almost 20000 yen.

Every time I eat with a westerner, inevitable someone will say some comments on how we pay the restaurant to let us cook the food on the table (sukiyaki, okonomiyaki, and pretty much every food there is) before we eat it is a very fascinating concept.

What about paying money to let us hurt ourselves?

Now that's fascinating.

The Talk About Pork - II

2010-02-06T22:31:00.000+09:00

While we're at it, I found a really-really-really good story about it. Best of all, it rhymes. What else can you ask for?

Thursdaypeople.com - Babi

You bet there'll be more talk about pork to come.

The Talk About Pork

2010-02-06T22:07:00.000+09:00

Born, raised, and butchered in a moslem-majority community means that the cows, goats, and chickens in the hood never meet pigs in all their lives. Be it during their quacking and mooing live-lives, or during their shelf-life.

happy piggy, pic from here

And because they have never been introduced to one another, while I know beef, chicken, and goats pretty well (Yum!), the first time I meet pork was when I was in Ukraine.

Let me tell you how it was memorable.

For the major part of my life, unlike other normal people out there, my taste buds are pretty much binary, able to recognize only hot-pedas and "other" food. I can never tell what's inside my food.

So back then in Ukraine, during the first time we have our meal that's provided by the org comm, we were all sitting in a table together, ready to eat whatever meager portion is served. All of a sudden, the older gentleman from Dikti announced to the table that the meat were pork.

So forks and spoons and knives halted in mid-air. Well, save for one set of eating utensils that belongs to the only non-moslem in the contingent.

But uh-oh. Next to our table was the table of the Iran contingent, mostly tall young girls with scarves, eating happily. So that gentleman told them that it was pork.

A moment of silence followed. And then you can see their faces turn an instant shade of blue. It was the highlight of our evening. Gossiping about other people always make for a memorable evening, no?

Two days later, we explored the area, and boy! A convenience store! So we bought ourselves chips and chocolates and ice creams. We were kinda rich, I guess, what with the outrageous rate of conversion from Euro to Hryvna.

Back to the lodging, basically just chatting around with the TV airing some weird-language program, just to give a background noise.

Then out of nowhere, the guy without pork restriction pointed out, "Isn't that chips bacon-flavored?"

And in an instant, uneasiness. If memory served, then the chips were unfinished.

I have to admit, it's kinda fun watching the repulsion against pork. *Grins*

And I'm not the only one. During the last session of YLI program, there's this one speaker talking about corruption, and he said that the mindset against corruption should be shaped to achieve the repulsion that moslem has against pork. You know, the part that whenever a good moslem is offered pork then he'll go, "Hiiiii, daging babi!"

The List Of Things To Do Before Dying

2010-01-30T16:52:00.000+09:00

Some would call it Life Targets. Me? I prefer to have a To-Do List Before I Die.

In no particular order:

Create. To be decided: raise a pet, plant a tree, have kid, or build an intelligent robot.
Destruct. Literally destroy something big in pieces or win a sword fight; preferably non-lethal one.
Dive. Confront fear of height and depth with something rewarding.
Tell Mom I love her in person.
Get completely wasted.
Go to Kings of Convenience, The Boy Least Likely To, and/or Earlimart live.
Be in a place where the sun don't set/rise for more than 24 hours.
Sleep on a grassfield underneath the stars , or sleep on a beach with a fire nearby.
Learn to play at least one musical instrument.
Implant adamantium claw. Ha!
Change the world for the better. To be decided: How.

Bonus: if you can tell why I don't put win a tournament/competition on the list, I have a little something for you. Or, if you can tell two things on the actual list I decided to keep it secret to myself. Put it in comment here, or put it in any other place and let me know.
So that you can have this little something if you want:

Paperback edition.

Euphoria

2010-01-20T07:22:00.000+09:00

ITB C won IVED! Now I can be euphoric at least for a day.

Being the host is already a challenge, and to top it off, winning the whole thing. One thing I don't like is I can't be there. But still a hearty congratulations for Marsha, Kirana, and Dito!
On another note, I'd hate to be called superstitious, but save for NEO, where I was present, all ITB victory announcement seems to require my absence? JOVED, I was en route to train station. NUEDC, I was already in the train station. IVED, I'm miles away. The list is fairly populated. While I'm there, if I am in the finals representing ITB, it seems to require me losing. One, two, three tournaments. Oh well. at least I can be euphoric for the day.

Free Thinkers

2010-01-09T23:49:00.000+09:00

"Are you a free thinker then?"

Duh berat yah labelnya. Terus terang saja, saya agak kesulitan menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan seperti ini. Jelas tidak mudah mengkondensasi hidup belasan tahun (setelah dikurangi tahun-tahun awal) menjadi jawaban dengan durasi 30 detik yang bagus, menjelaskan dan mencerahkan.

Nampaknya ini juga yang membuat saya tidak tertarik sama sekali dengan formspring.me, situs tempat orang-orang bisa mampir dan menanyakan pertanyaan apapun secara anonim. Rasanya saya sudah dapat cukup pertanyaan selama SMA dan di dunia nyata. Yang saya butuhkan adalah kebalikannya: psikolog gratis, tempat saya bisa bertanya mulai dari hal-hal remeh sampai yang tidak terlalu remeh. Tempat yang beda dengan kolom salam tempel Lampu Hijau. Kalau misalnya ada calon psikolog yang nyasar ke sini, tolong digarisbawahi bagian gratisnya.

Misalnya: mendingan saya panjangin rambut, mencoba ke barbershop, atau botakin aja sekalian? Atau bereksperimen sendiri? Mendingan saya nonton Passion Pit dan Phoenix sendirian atau nabung duitnya aja? Mendingan saya bertahan di astronomi atau mengejar apapun itu yang ada di luar astronomi?

Tapi kembali ke pertanyaan awal: waktu saya mencari di wikipedia, ternyata saya dibawa ke laman ini. Nantilah saya bikin tulisan sendiri tentang hal-hal semacam ini (baca: cari bahan copy-paste untuk membahas blogpost orang lain, niatnya sudah dari dulu, tapi...) . Jadi memang judul post kali ini memang tidak ada hubungannya dengan isinya.

Dan untuk sementara waktu, blog ini akan bebas dari rant tentang frustrasi. Kalau Crocs di Pearls Before Swine punya Box O' Morons, saya punya Box O' Frustration and Sadness di Posterous.

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P.S. Susah juga ternyata menulis dengan bahasa Indonesia.

P.P.S. Merasa ada yang beda? Dari hitam ke abu-abu ke ochre, dan sekarang: putih. Paling tidak template ini membuat dimensi tulisan menjadi lebih lebar.

Tweet Proklamasi

2010-01-04T04:11:00.002+09:00

Ever wonder how we'd read our independence history had Twitter been around in 1945? But if you are easily offended please save ourselves some time and don't read this. In no mean I intend to disrespect our founding fathers, but had Twitter been around when I was in high school, this may give the re-enactment drama assignment more flavor. Also, this is the result of a caffeine overdose, please forgive the accuracy (though some events are re-interpreted to fit the short burst nature of microblogging service)

Soekarno RT @bbc Breaking News - Fat Man Dropped on Nagasaki http://bbc.co.uk/2de43S
On Aug 9th 9pm from web
Soekarno Ha ha! RT @bbc Breaking News - Japan Surrenders http://bbc.co.uk/2Fr2DD
On Aug 15th 10pm from web
Hatta Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun RT @bbc Hundreds of Thousands Dead in Little Boy and Fat Man's Trail http://bbc.co.uk/4sdg3W
On Aug 15th 10pm from web yellowdoorknob.blogspot.com
DarahMuda otw ke rumah bung karno. awas aja kalo dia masih banyak bacot ga mau proklamasi #idmerdeka
On Aug 16th 11am from mobile web
Soekarno Kayak rame di depan ada apa ya?
On Aug 16th 12pm from web
MrsSoekarno Wah banyak tamu nih. Mudah-mudahan gulanya cukup buat bikin teh manis.
On Aug 16th 12pm from Snaptwo
Soekarno Bah! Anak muda jaman sekarang! Ga bisa ditolak dikit langsung main culik aja!http://myloc.me/2nn3R
On Aug 16th 1pm from Twitter for BB
DarahMuda @Maeda Bang, kita maen ke tempatmu ya.
On Aug 16th 1pm from mobile web
BonekSBY @DarahMuda WOI nyetir yang bener! Malah twitteran
On Aug 16th 1pm from mobile web
DarahMuda @BonekSBY mpret. ada juga lu jagain si sukarno di belakang biar twitter dia ga pake location service. Ketahuan ntar kita.
On Aug 16th 1pm from mobile web
MaedaJR @Maeda pah, ada temen-temen papah di rumah. Katanya mau pinjem tempat buat nyekap oom soekarno.
On Aug 16th 3pm from web
Maeda @DarahMuda bilang maen doang, taunya bawa-bawa anak orang. Gue ga ikut-ikut ya.
On Aug 16th 3pm from keitai web
Maeda @DarahMuda Awas aja kalo lu ngabisin cemilan gue.
On Aug 16th 3pm from keitai web
DarahMuda @Maeda sip bos! makasih ya.
On Aug 16th 3pm from mobile web
Soekarno Primbon praktis untuk Gemini, Jumat legi adalah hari baik untuk memulai usaha baru, melamar calon... http://prmb.on/re3I
On Aug 16th 5pm from Primbon Praktis Serbaguna Service
Soekarno Udah diculik, disuruh bikin teks proklamasi lagi. Pokoknya harus gue yang bacain besok.#idmerdeka
On Aug 16th 9pm from Twitter for BB yellowdoorknob.blogspot.com
DarahMuda @Soekarno jangan narsis dulu lu. Besok proklamasi #idmerdeka sama @hatta juga.
On Aug 16th 9pm from mobile web
Hatta Teks proklamasi cuman secuprit gini alamat bakal jadi figuran doang nih. #idmerdeka
On Aug 16th 9pm from Snaptwo
smelik Alhamdulillah, kerjaan ngetik malem ini cuman sedikit #idmerdeka
On Aug 16th 9pm from web
Soekarno @MrsSoekarno bune, kita jadinya besok proklamasi #idmerdeka. Tolong jahitin bendera buat dikerek ya. Merah-putih aja gpp.
On Aug 16th 10pm from Twitter for BB
DarahMuda @BonekSBY lapangan ikada udah keburu dibooking buat senam SKJ. ada ide tempat baru ga buat proklamasi? #idmerdeka
On Aug 17th 5am from web
BonekSBY NOOOOOO!!!! RT @DarahMuda @BonekSBY lapangan ikada udah keburu dibooking buat senam SKJ. #idmerdeka
On Aug 17th 5am from web yellowdoorknob.blogspot.com
Soekarno Dibs on the prez! #idmerdeka
On Aug 17th 11am from web
Soekarno Proklamasi beres, tinggal jumatan trus makan. #idmerdeka Bune @MrsSoekarno bikin tempe bacem lagi ga ya?
On Aug 17th 11am from web

Gion

2010-01-01T00:54:00.000+09:00

If you're in a hurry basically the following happened:

I came. I saw. I went home.

But if you have time to read my rants, here's what happened:

The day before yesterday. Onta told me I need to go out, and I concur. I googled what people would do at new year's eve. Turns out that people either go to Shito shrine, or Buddhist temple. Out of the various places mentioned in the articles, I can only found one in the map. Yasaka shrine, at the end of 4th avenue, around the area called Gion.

Yesterday noon. I looked it up some more. Being lazy that I am, my google maps research told me that the last train available from 4th avenue to my dorm is exactly at midnight. During the remainder of the day I tried to study, but it really was feckless.

The new year's eve. After much deliberation, I decided to go out and see the atmosphere. To really understand what transpired then, you need to know that the village where I live is served by two lines of trains from two different railway companies: JR and Keihan. As it happened, JR station is closer by around 300m than Keihan station to my dorm. So I took the JR line to Kyoto Station. At the Kyoto station, this was usually one of the busiest place in Kyoto with so many people, but at 9pm, this place was oddly deserted. I checked out the schedule, and it confirmed that the last train from Kyoto station to Obaku, the nearest station to my dorm is at 23.59. So I stepped outside to see that even the Kyoto Tower is closed. I decided to walk from Kyoto Station (which was close to 9th avenue) to 4th avenue.

So I walked. And I walked. And the roads are practically deserted along the way to the 4th avenue. No traffic jam as there was basically no vehicle on the road. And I saw places I have yet to see before and made a pact to myself to get around this place again sometime. And at 5th avenue, it started snowing. But just so you know, this paragraph actually has nothing to do with the narrative that I wanted to tell, which is at the next paragraph. Oh, by the way, no pictures here. I was too lazy to bring my camera. And it's not like I have company.

I arrived at Yasaka Shrine a few minutes before 11, and the place was already packed. At the entrance, there were so many stalls and booths selling various foods (takoyaki, yakisoba, apple caramel, even frankfurter), oracles, and some sort of string--for lack of better word--to let you bring an ember home. And boy, there was a lot of people.

I was, again, alone. Illiterate of japanese culture, both in its traditional and the more popular one. So I was just following along, and suddenly I was in the middle of a massive queues. I waited and waited, feeling really out of place, shortly after 11pm I get out of the queue and decided to start walking to the nearest station. As I get out of the exit, I saw that the whole 5 lanes of 4th avenue has been closed for vehicles and there was people, throng of thousands of people on the street. Which means that I actually was in a good position of the queue.

But I was thinking that if I missed my last train to my dorm, it will leave me almost 20 km away from home and no place to stay for the night. And there I was, heading home, going against the direction of thousands of people.

The nearest station is Gion station on the 4th avenue (Gion Shijo station) of the Keihan line. So I waited for my train home, and at the platform, I saw the announcement that Keihan's operation hour was reversed during the holiday. Instead of having the first train at 5am and the last train at 12pm, their schedule now listed the first train at 7pm and the last train at 10am. But I was already on the platform. and now did not really see the point of returning to the shrine. And so i decided to go home.

Home, no sound of a single firecracker, no sight of any fireworks, away from the throngs of people, undisturbed by blaring trumpets, retreating from the cold wind to the warmth of the bed. Let the day pass and we can start anew.

20091231

2009-12-31T11:53:00.000+09:00

31 Desember 2007. Saya ada di Siam Park, rasanya sekali-sekalinya waktu itu tahun baru ada acara di luar. Rasanya baru kembali ke penginapan jam 2 malam. Berkesan bukan karena malam tahun baru. Bukan pula karena ada kembang api, atau karena ada DJ dan lantai dansa. Sayangnya, bukan pula karena ada sajian alkohol free-flow. Tapi karena saya mencoba mengalahkan ketakutan saya akan ketinggian. Giant Drop, Aladin, dan Loop the Loop.

31 Desember 2008. Sampai jam 9 malam saya di alun-alun Klaten bersama teman-teman. Setelah itu? Pulang dan tidur.

31 Desember 2009. Kalau saya bisa mengalahkan rasa malas saya, hari ini saya akan belajar setidaknya 3 bab Fisika matematika I, mencoba menulis kode untuk membuat kontur kerapatan gas, dan mungkin melihat-lihat daerah Shijo.

Tapi bagi saya, mau malam tahun baru, ulang tahun, atau lebaran rasanya semua kok sama saja. Dulu waktu di Bandung, paling tidak waktu ada hari libur saya bisa senang karena ada alasan untuk pulang ke rumah. Sekarang sebenarnya saya bisa saja, tapi kok kesannya tidak bertanggung jawab dan menyabotase diri sendiri.

Kalau di Indonesia ada tambahan "bagi yang merayakan" dalam ucapan selamat hari raya keagamaan, maka sepantasnyalah kita juga mengucapkan, "Selamat Tahun Baru, bagi anda semua yang merayakannya."

Apapun yang akan terjadi malam ini, besok pagi matahari akan terbit jam tujuh pagi. Hari Jumat. Yang nampaknya tak ada bedanya dengan Jumat-Jumat yang lalu. Maupun yang akan datang.

More Books

2009-12-29T01:34:00.000+09:00

I was in Bangkok a few months ago, in a group of 6 boys and 6 girls (10 of 12 shown in the right). The trip was financed by campus, so each of us has some money for some shopping. The girls, as expected, went shopping for accessories, dresses, and bags, and shoes, and suitcases, and.. oh, I lost count. Not that the money was that much, but their superior bargaining skill and experience in Pasar Baru and Gasibu has made a difference. The boys? Some went on buying action figures and gundam aside from the obligatory souvenirs for everyone.

Me? After several times of going out of town I have long given up in finding obligatory souvenirs for acquaintances and/or (extended) family. One simply cannot satisfy them. No-one wears the 12US$ t-shirt I bought in Ukraine*, much less the 400IDR t-shirt. People seems to understand that you're traveling in a budget yet whine incessantly when you give them keychains. With that, I only bought things that interest myself. Which lead us to...

More books.

Unlike Manila, however, I didn't find any cheap second-hand book market. So these are what I bought at Kinokuniya Bangkok:

The last two books are now with me here in Kyoto, but the first three are at home in Klaten. There's also another book I bought at Asia Books which I left at home, I haven't gotten around to read it, and I already forgot its title. I think it's Thai Jinxs, but I can be mistaken. If memory serves, the place isn't bigger than its Singapore counterpart, but it'll has to do. Days before when I was in Singapore I had no time to visit Kinokuniya or Borders or that second hand bookshop Nita showed me the first time I was there.

And there's more about the books. Let's leave that for tomorrow. But don't worry, there will be no talk of dismembering organ.

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*to be fair, I did bought the outrageously expensive t-shirts at the airport before leaving the country in vain attempt to spend my remaining hryvnia (UAH). Still, when converted to US$, its tag was at about 12$. Which is not a small amount when you're buying several items.

---

Minor book obsessions in the past:

#1 at Paris Van Java, #2 in Kompas Gramedia Fair, #3 The book tower accident, #4 Altered Carbon,

Vernacular

2009-12-23T07:36:00.000+09:00

There is an advantage of not knowing Japanese in Japan. When you're in a social, and everyone knows you don't speak Japanese, it forces them to speak in a lingua franca, English. And when they are conversing among themselves in their vernacular, you have lesser obligation to follow in. Which at most times suits me when I'm not feeling very sociable (occurs more often than you think).

The same thing happened when you're in a group of people who don't share the same vernacular with you. They conversed, in my case it was Mandarin, but I was somewhat OK. They were a group of Chinese and Chinese Malaysian.

As is with everything else in this world, when you have advantages, you also have disadvantages. You catch your professor's name in the conversations, but that was all that is. Had I been able to understand, it'd be easier to follow the latest dirt that would otherwise be unknown to me. There's also the core of socials: jokes. It proves particularly disadvantageous if the people in the socials are the people you want to bond with, but you don't feel like exerting Herculean work to be inside the conversation.

Now the wicked part of my brain says that the most advantageous position would be secretly understand the vernacular language, which then would allow you to indulge yourself in the dirts. But that would require a straight faces when the jokes are thrown.

Oh, vernacular means mother tongue, by the way. It really is a fancy word, isn't it?

(Kyoto-the morning after the department's year-end party, which saw me as the only gaijin out of 40-odd people there.)

Tunes

2009-12-17T22:14:00.000+09:00

If you are like 220 millions of earth citizen who happens to own an iPod*, chances are your music collection size is in order of gigabytes. So how big is your collections, and what lies behind all that?

I personally only has a modest-sized music library, mere 11.90 GB in my iTunes library. I used to hoard a lot more than that until I had to let my old laptop go. But the most wonderful thing about personal music players are their ability to provide soundtracks to your (pathetic, mundane, blessedly wonderful) life, and coupled with the power of human memory, to preserve events in the past to be reminisced in the future.

At this point, whenever any song from Travis' The Boy With No Name got shuffled in my iPod, it feels like 2007 again. It feels like retracing steps in Hotel Jayakarta for AUDC, running in anxiety for Astrophysics II final exam, and dozing off during Mathematical Physics II finals. Meanwhile, Imogen Heap's Goodnight and Go reminds me of the cramped travel ride to Lampung, getting intoxicated with carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide during the ferry ride crossing the Sunda Strait. And how weird is that Fort Minor's Enjoy the Silence always reminds me of the first time I was in Singapore? Of the feel of being able to rely on public transportation to get around, and the post event crushing disappointment. I suspect years from now Jonsi - Boy Lillikoi will bring my memory to the long commute to Kyoto.

Meanwhile, as I was a frequent user of the night train to get back home from Bandung, blasting my ears with music was a sure way to keep me awake and not to miss the stop. This might be the reason why I associate Nada Surf and The Fray and Bell with the thought of going home. Feist and Kings of Convenience were the soundtrack to the happy life of TPB, while Death Cab for Cutie's Plans was on heavy rotation after graduation. The tranquil ferry ride to and from Lombok was Phoenix's 1901 and Silversun Pickup's Panic Switch. I can go on.

And I guess this is why karaoke is so popular (no, I am not saying this is necessarily a good thing).

The fact being hip and up-to-date in the newest musics is fun and all notwithstanding, I daresay that most of the tunes in our music players are--I know mine are--of dubious origin. Let's say I'm your average guy. I have thousands of songs in my iPod. And just how many of it are legal download? All I can remember is that my Brooke Waggoner's Fresh Pair of Eyes is legal. As well as several tracks I got from some music blogs I follow. And of course, my Boy Lillikoi is legal. Which is to say, the number (of the tracks with dubious origin) pales in comparison with the overall number. I did a bit of a counting, and if the tracks are priced at flat 99cents/song, then the amounts that I owe to the music industry, is... staggering.

I can blame the availability of the records. Or rather, I could. I guess my being Japan has better chance in finding the albums I would otherwise unable to find in Indonesia. Or me not having a credit card to purchase songs from iTunes Store.

At least the apps are all legal (and free).

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* the use of iPod^ here can be generalized to any Personal Music Players that includes Zune, Creative Zen, Sansa, or even sufficiently sophisticated handphones with gigabytes of memory. Apple's iPhone, Nokia, SE springs to mind.

^ And have you ever pondered how these things were unimaginable just 10 years ago? I guess Arthur Clarke's Law is really true, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Thousand

2009-12-08T23:11:00.000+09:00

My 1000th tweet. I wasn't even consciously counting, but I liked this one: combines my eternal lust for shiny gadgets plus novel use of human appendages as well as simple experiments, while the motive was season-related. So much for 140 character limit.

And yes, I should be studying, not watching The Big Bang Theory, not watching Castle, not watching How I Met Your Mother, not watching ROFL, not tweeting, not blogging. God help me.

Nutjob

2009-12-01T20:18:00.000+09:00

Tifatul Sembiring's response on the news reaction to his sermon in Padang: "Saya seperti melakukan 'menyalahkan para korban' jika kesimpulan diambil dari berita-berita tersebut. Padahal tak ada sedikitpun dalam naskah saya bermaksud seperti itu."

From BBC: "A government minister has blamed Indonesia's recent string of natural disasters on people's immorality."

From Jakarta Globe: "[Tifatul Sembiring] saying natural disasters were the result of poor moral values."

So his accusation towards the news channel is mistargeted, as I don't recall any of these news channel that I read quoting him of blaming the quake victims (the commentary from people in twitter is another matter*). He 'merely' made an unwarranted assumption.

These are from his sermon text: "Sesungguhnya ada korelasi langsung atau tak langsung, ada hubungan yang kuat antara musibah fisik dengan musibah moral atau akhlak manusia." Which to me is like saying there is either a direct or non-direct correlation between severe weather with our dress code. In other words, balderdash. It really doesn't mean anything--or can mean anything.

Further, "Sering terjadi bencana, sebab akhlak manusia yang telah rusak." Now he's asserting something. Any half-decent adjudicator (or any educated individual, really) would demand for elaboration and causal link. He spoke earlier of "gempa di NAD dan Nias ... Dan baru saja berselang gempa di Sumatera Barat, ditanah Minang."

So here are the details: "Tengoklah bagaimana kerusakan moral di negeri ini: Baru-baru ini diungkapkan data, bahwa ada 500 jenis VCD porno buatan Indonesia sendiri yang sudah beredar diperjual belikan. Korupsi meraja lela, Indonesia mendapat ranking no 1 terkorup di Asia, dan no 3 terkorup di dunia.**" And it goes on. But that's all. no appeal to logic or anything***. And this is from a minister. In communication, no less.

I mean, really, Sir? Ring of Fire? Fault lines? Ring any bell? What about some solid scientific basis offered by a govt official for a change from the usual scaremongering? (Which is never effective, btw.) Indonesian have been dumbed down by the constant stream of sinetron. If anything, some example from the higher-ups in being rational (and exemplary) would be much appreciated.****

To be fair, this is not unprecedented. A search of "siti supari nuttiness" in Google brought me to this page here. Worthy of quote: "the Indonesian Health Minister is an unconstructive, ignorant, often irrational and bizarre individual." Thankfully, she has been replaced in the new cabinet now. How SBY considers the men (and women) for his cabinet will always be a mystery. And as their boss, he seems to be OK to let this people make Indonesia a laughingstock. No wonder we had #cuih hashtag in Twitter (I didn't vote in presidential election, but I voted his party on legislative election. This blog here was one of my reasons.).

I personally agrees with Rorschach of Watchmen who said that, "It rains on the just and unjust alike."

-----

* commentary of which I tend to agree. Using linear reasoning based on his assertion that moral decadence causes disaster, or in reverse: disaster will strike those with corrupted moral. Because disaster struck Padang and Nias and Bengkulu, people afflicted with disaster must have been morally corrupt. So if the minister blames moral decadence as the root of disaster, he may as well said that the victims of the quake are to blame for the quake.

** a factual error. Or rather, overusing obsolete facts. Most recent one, spotted in Time, can be found here. I tip my proverbial hat to Karmen. At any rate, corruption does not, and I suspect, will not be the cause of natural disaster. If anything, what it does is escalating the impact of the disaster when it strikes. Man-made disaster is of another matter (still remember Lusi? The govt has all but neglected them).

*** though I can't help but wonder, he knows the number of local porn production but wasn't aware of Blogger's Report Abuse button? Instead he chose to order ISPs to censor access to a certain blog. I read an excellent blog post about that in my RSS reader but now I can't find it. Tsk.

**** Recent confusion caused by MUI on 2012 movie doesn't help. A good read on this issue can be found in here.

Guilt

2009-11-30T16:06:00.000+09:00

Guilt is a powerful thing. Otherwise confessional would not exist. Otherwise greenwashing will not be a big deal. Without guilt, I suspect the amount of charity and donations will decrease significantly.

And it's inescapable.

I found Andra's Facebook page. She wrote "Aku ingin keliling dunia." Guilt.

A friend asks how to get scholarship to Japan. Another friend is weighing to apply scholarship to the States. Another covets scholarship to Korea. More guilt.

The Japanese language sensei said that the Japanese's notion of 'the good life' in Japan is to live in Kobe, eat in Osaka, and work/study in Kyoto. More guilt.

Yet here I am, spending weekend after weekend cooped up in the dorm. Racking my brain off for a plausible reason for Lesser Sunda Islands getaway during next year's low season. Avoiding north campus and preferring to try to sleep in the library after language classes.

Yes, guilt is a powerful thing. But sadly, it's not powerful enough.

Homo

2009-11-26T19:57:00.000+09:00

I am utterly and thoroughly confused. Lifeless. Frustrated. But not (yet) suicidal.

I am bored. Alone. Silenced. Lost.

I am hopeless. Masked. Disguised.

I am Vanity. Pride. Disdain.

I am a loner. Learner. Fool.

I am weak. Frail.

I err. I fear.

I.. am human.

Mundane

2009-11-24T21:45:00.000+09:00

If you have the same question like Wijay here,

Let me show you the latest astro-related article tweeted by NewScientist here.

Excerpt from the article:

I've taken the liberty to highlight the appropriate parts. So yeah, it's actually boring. And just like Koothrappali's remark in one episode of the The Big Bang Theory series, we might be replaced by a simple piece of software.

Being hairless and covering it

2009-11-11T21:30:00.000+09:00

On my train ride home, for an unknown combination of stimulants, I suddenly found myself thinking about clothing and dignity. My thinking actually started with a simple question, and I spend the remainder of the train ride trying to answer the question. The question was this:

Why do clothing means so much to human?

Think about it. In our current culture, what we wear define ourselves. What we wear symbolize our dignity. It is not little known that we measure the level of education received by an indigenous society by how they clothe themselves. People from deep Papua forest are often considered primitive simply for their lack of clothing. Even more extreme, children are thought that clothings are what differs man and animal. These points raised other questions, like

Why is koteka unacceptable in modern society? Is civilization inversely proportional with how much of human skin left unclothed?*

Ah, civilization. That word remind me of a paragraph I read in this book. It was about the explosion of Mt. Toba, that immediately cooled down earth temperature. Think of it like the Krakatoa explosion, but with impacts several order of magnitudes higher. The author then at some point explains that the explosion posed new problems to human, which by then has evolved to resemble the present day human, fairly hairless and without internal ability to survive the ice age. It is then only logical that they invent clothing.

What perplexed me is how this process is pretty much irreversible. Why didn't our ancestor ditch the extra layers when it got warmer? Particularly for humans who lived in the tropical area?

At that point my train of thought got stuck, and I have to get off the train to change to another line anyway. So I tried to put the whole thing in a timeline.

Our ancestor was covered in hair. But we evolved to be a fairly hairless species. Pardon me for employing the concept of natural selection banally, as this was pretty much what I remembered from Junior High Biology. Anyway, our evolution from hairy to hairless means that hairless appearance is favored (Why? Is it because Africa--the land the first humans roamed was/is hot that we don't need the hair?).

After we become hairless, catastrophe strikes in the form of cold temperature. To adjust and survive, we then create extra layer of skin. We covered our body.

But then it got warmer. And warmer. And warmer. If clothing was simply for function's sake (cold, put more layer. hot, shed some), we'd be seeing more people in their birthday suit in tropical area. But we don't. It's not reversible.

So why? Is it because we look better in clothing? But if that's the case, a lot of people seem to realize that society frowned upon their choice of outfit, yet they insist on wearing the frowned attire anyway. So it must not be solely society perspective. Now my train of thought got stuck again. I'll accept that I am presently unable to find the reason behind the irreversibility of clothing in human civilization.

But then my attention was shifted. If being clothed is good, why must the opposite equals to embarassment? How did we develop that instinct to cover ourselves (or at least, our nether regions) when we're accidentally caught in our birthday suit? Seeing that infants and newly borns doesn't seem to practice this modesty, it must have been something that is taught and reinforced by their interactions with the adults during their development. But the question why remains. Why does being dignified require our skin to be covered? Why don't human wants other humans to see parts of their body? Even when we introduce the lust-containment argument, i.e. women must cover their skin lest they arouse men, the most fundamental principle why clothing define our dignity is left unanswered**.

In the end, I don't argue that clothing are bad, or that we should all live in nudist colony. I'm just wondering how exactly human civilization got to this state with clothing. And my mind haven't even wandered to the variety of value of different clothing for different people. We live in a world where a Sudanese woman faced the threat of lashing for wearing jeans, a piece of clothing that most of us took for granted. We live in a world where a formal attire for men includes a piece of clothing with no apparent functionality: tie. We live in a society that celebrates differences and condescends those that are too different, say by wearing burqa***. We live, in an absurd world.

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* and if the answer to this question is yes, where that leaves models with skimpy clothes that leaves no room for imagination? Or even porn?

** i.e. why the same thing doesn't apply to men, or why men are being given free pass.

*** I have to admit that I personally feel a bit uneasy with those that do wear burqa.

Natural Selection

2009-11-02T23:47:00.000+09:00

"You would think that there will be sadness when you start to pull away from Earth. An ache for the mountains, what's left of the beaches. For the sweet smell of the fresh air.
My guess, there is a little bit of that. But, when you are an astronaut, you start asking your self question like: How the hell did I get here? Is it hard work? Fate? Was it a hand of God?
You ask yourself: Why am I one of the lucky suckers leaving? And not one of the poor bastards being left behind?
I think that the obvious question is simply: what the hell happened?
And the obvious answer is that we do not really know."

For your information, today's blog post is brought to you by Defying Gravity.

"Sometimes, I think that the only natural selection happens in the petri dish.
But, if it's in the petri dish, that's not really natural, isn't it?"

TMI, or otherwise known as random little things

2009-10-29T18:41:00.000+09:00

I have just re-enact a scene from Calvin and Hobbes, the one that involved tsunami in a tub. It then occurred to me that: 1. I should buy a rubber duck. 2. The designer of the room in the house I live in now must have people like me in mind when designed the bathroom. I'm glad the designer did.

The first Japanese word I learned organically is 'tsugi'. You can't help to learn what it is if you hear that word at least 20 times a day during commuting. This is the typical announcement you'll heard on the train: Tsugi wa Chusojima desu. [half a minute later:] Chusojima, Chusojima desu.

I checked my bank account today, and to my delight, I saw 155.000 Yen on the screen. I took 5.000 out of it, as just an hour before I have spent 11.700 on rent. I went to a SMBC cranch near Chusojima, and its surrounding made me happy just to watch it. I have no idea why. Perhaps that street of road remind me of malioboro, in the sense that you get a glimpse of it before the train stops at a station not ten feet away.

In Indonesia, street musician can throw you your 500rp coin back. But here, coins are not worthless. 10, 50, 100, and 500 yen coins can be used in vending machines and train ticket machines. Cheapest food I found is a small weird donut, 40yen.

If my mom ever visit this place, and getting somewhere with local trains, she'll frown with pretty much everybody, as everyone is using 'sumpel kuping'. Yes, you read that right. But I'll show her that these things that goes in the ear aren't the monopoly of the young, as older people also uses it for their PMP and TV-capable handphones.

I have yet to buy a phone. I am torn. I don't think I'll buy an iPhone, unless the one with the biggest capacity. But iPhone will render my iPod Touch and my SE G502 redundant. I don't need to start accumulating electronic waste here. I heard Xperia X3 will be out soon, though.

You get all sorts of people in the trains, though it's nothing like in Indonesia. I have never used Prameks, but I once used the train from Gambir to Depok Baru and the horrifying KRL(/KRD?) ekonomi from Depok Baru to UI. You don't see people smoking, people are civil, no hawkers, and it's brightly lit.

Now I can identify Yamaguchi and Yamada written in Kanji, though I am still lightyears away from able to read advertisement in a glance.

The language course uses the same book I used back in ITB, Minna no Nihongo. But as the participants are more varied, the book is also livelier. There are people from MY, CN, KR, VN, PE, UK, TW, and EG. Ada satu peserta yang menonjol sih, cewe KR, kita sebut saja namanya Ibu Jumu'ah. She's active and confident, and (this one I like) usually come in class after I do.

You see, Friday in the Japanese calendar is usually represented by a Kanji character that has same meaning (I think) with her name, and it's pronunciation is similar too. Ibu Jumu'ah has successfully made me feel inferior, as there was a section on 'at from what hour until what hour you did your activity'. She said she went home from lab (I think) at 9 in the evening. And she also went to the lab on the day of the sun (ahaha). Me? You had me whining not more than three posts ago on nyampah kayak PNS.

Thursday is the highlight of my week. You can smell the weekend near enough, but you're not as lethargic as Friday. The Japanese sensei for Thu is also very active, with flashcard and everything. Granted, at times, her English isn't very good, but she's very helpful and engaging, and creative with the teaching method. It's like back to your happy days at kindergarten.

The first week I got here, the Monday after that, it was holiday. Even better: next Tuesday is also a holiday. Not-as-cool: Test on Monday: Lesson 1 to 5. All instruction will be in kana, not romaji.

I have four sweater from Twig House (half of them are gift from the good people at SEF). And I found out that the one I wear the most often now has a hole in the shoulder seams. Obviously I had no idea how to fix it, but I'll wear it anyway.

Speaking of, I just found out that there's a drama in development back in Bandung. But WHY DOESN'T IT HAPPEN SOONER? I could've used some drama back then.

Still in the topic, I found that an opinion I heard years ago proved true less than a week ago: international debating competition has a VERY STRONG correlation with your financial capability. I have been oversold. Did the fact that I went to some international competition changed anything to be said of my performance other than extremely rusty? Nope.

But the debaters here always had something from the competition: copy of adj sheet (space to explain decision in writing, and two columns for suggestion for each team) and scoring sheet from each adj that adj them in the comp. Somebody should suggest this in Indonesia. Perhaps for record of intercomp, or newbies.

And I think I might have the chance of observing the life of SEF ITB in the past. You see, the union that they have here isn't only focusing on debate, they only had it for once a week. but they have discussion and speech program, and if I had been right in hazarding a guess, drama as well. Memories of fading photograph with cutbray pants that I saw at SEF office now back to life.

But enough about debating. From the desk of mental pembajak dunia ketiga, I am completing download the whole season of Penguins of Madagascar while keeping myself updated with my favorite TV series. I have also been bragged to my sister on hasil mengunduh Brooke Waggoner, Matt and Kim, dan Marina and the Diamonds. You should also give it a try.

I lost my short after laundry day, leaving me one short short for short. After two days intensive search of my room surface, I found it crumpled beneath the pile of futon and the like at the end of my bed.

The weirdest attire I have seen in the train is this one girl yang pake jepit rambut(?) at least 5 biji buat nahan poni, dengan jarak jepit yang satu yang lain simetris, dan membuatnya keliatan pakai flashdisk di kepala. Add that with the fact that this girl was constantly putting make ups with an A5-sized mirror during the whole train ride.

I had a 'seminar' yesterday. an hour, supposedly covers two section. only able to cover half of it, and the worst confusion ensued over the dimension of force (something you had back in 1st year of junior high), and the divergence of a vector. Hegh. Now why does the USyd poster in the library seems so appealing?

Speaking of library, they have the coolest library I have ever seen (I only have seen three library, actually: ITB, NTU, and Kyodai). Masuknya aja harus gesek kartu perpus! It's brightly lit, unlike satu gedung kusam mirip toilet yang ada di gerbang belakang ITB.

After that Malam Indonesia stint last Sunday, I realized that if there's any reason why I don't eat outside is less because of the language barrier (I can just hazard a guess and main tunjuk) but more on the price. One serving of okonomiyaki and a small bottle of coke cost me 1100 yen. GAH! All I thought during dinner was: ini makanan mahal, sayang kalo ga abis.. :( There's a spice that doesn't suit my tongue.

While my lunch today was awesomely priced 514 yen: nasi dalam bowl paling besar yang mereka punya, dua potong ikan goreng yang gede, bola-bola semacam bakso yang gambarnya ayam, dan miso soup. I practically walking away singing after lunch.

There are more random little things, most of it are on the photo description on the pictures in my MyOpera album. See the link on the right side.

Sorely misses old times

2009-10-24T01:22:00.000+09:00

Feels like it's been forever since I hang out together with people from Persma. Will I ever got the chance like them? Iri!
Apa kabar ya SC E-02? Masih bocor-kah?

For some of you who don't know them, meet @zulf1kar, otherwise known as Ijul; @pelangisore, or Lija in short; @memorabiria, or Ria, and Mita! Old gang from Sunken Court East 02.

Might be related: Past Woes

The Traffic and Money

2009-10-18T16:21:00.000+09:00

I have been a little bit behind with my RSS reading. Well, 4045 new posts from 209 feeds are certainly something. Then I found this, and honestly, my thought was: I never really thought of it that way.

"You didn't crash into other people's car, you didn't do drunk driving, you didn't cause any harm to anybody. You made a turn at a wrong time. It's an honest mistake.

Imagine how many people will have to push the papers because of this. .... All this people, pushing papers."

I've had a couple of run-ins with the police officers. the first time was first year high school: I don't have a license to ride a motorcycle, I stopped at the wrong stop, the officers signalled me to follow them.

I ended up paying more than 150K IDR on the spot, and I was the laugh of the family for at least a week. Bear in mind, I was naive and scared. Just wanted it to finished. However, I did remember vividly that the officer puts the money inside his cigarette package. I don't suppose the government ever see a dime of it. Ever.

So I learned, and when 2 years after that, I found myself in a similar situation, I prefer to go to the court. I didn't mind, I had reason to skip class. More than happy to oblige. As it turns out, there wasn't so many people at Pengadilan Klaten, and all I had to do was waited until ticket was given to a judge and my name was called. A short lecture afterwards, I found myself ushered to a booth where I have to pay my fine. 20K IDR. Bent on revenge, I have prepared for this: I gave the officer in the booth a plastic bag, filled with spare changes, Rp 100s, 500s, and 1000s. Ha! Now what are you going to do with it?

Two years after that, in Bandung, I was given a ticket: I was giving a ride to a friend, and with no spare helmet, it was such luck that there's a police officer happened to be in Tamansari crossing. So I got myself another ticket, and I prefer to go to the court. But then I realized it was a waste of time. I mean, at college you can't just easily skip classes. And in Bandung, the courthouse was packed! Think of the sort of event where people are cramming in to receive zakat fitrah when it's near lebaran. But these are people with similar tickets.

The officer who gave me the ticket wrote the date of the trial--if I can call it like that--on a public holiday, so I went there a week after, again with the spare change. But apparently there's no need to go there, as my files were at Police central office, not at the courthouse (due to the date confusion). Here's where it's funny: I had difficulty extracting the changes from my pockets, and after 15.000 IDR fished out and displayed there, the officer took pity. So I paid even lesser amount of fine!

Though this rises the question, how much is the fine exactly for these sort of thing? I tried to looked it up, but I don't find anything on it (or rather, I don't know where to look). At any rate, this was an inefficient way of sorting out the mistakes people made in the street. Do people learned any lessons from the mistakes anyway? We paid, we got lectured, we're back on the street, slightly poorer, but business as usual. If that's really how it goes, might as well make it all streamlined and easy. And this is how I found the post from Indonesia Anonymus made me feels, "I never really thought of it that way"

--------

Disclaimer are in order: riding without a helmet is dangerous. Can't really say for myself that I've crashed and without a helmet I'd be dead by now, but protection is what helmets are made for. And as far as riding without a license, I'm not one to give lessons, but I heard the police are making efforts to ensure that you need to be able to do more than paying the officers or the calos to create your driving license.

It sucks. It does.

2009-10-17T17:22:00.000+09:00

I'm the odd new guy. Story of my life. Can I have another set of personalities? You know, just as spare and variation. I'm bored with this one already.

-----

Update

I decided I'd better move the whines and rant. Not really encouraging, that's why. So I made it un-public. Thank you for those who gave me support in response for the post. Time to move on, I guess.

The Pirate Solution

2009-10-13T22:18:00.000+09:00

I always love The Big Bang Theory, but now more than ever, the newest episode just really got to me. Boy, it's hilarious!

Raj: By the way, when I say squat,I mean diddly-squat. I wish I had squat.
Sheldon: So, wait, what have you been doing for the past six months?
Raj: You know, checking e-mail, Updating my facebook status, Messing up wikipedia entries.
Raj: Hey, did you know netflix lets you stream movies on your computer now?
Sheldon: And you've continued to take the university's money under false pretenses?
Sheldon: Highly unethical for an astrophysicist. Although pctically mandatory for a pirate.

First impressions

2009-10-10T12:34:00.000+09:00

Today is the beginning of a long weekend in Japan, and there has been so many things done and waiting to be done, impressions, hopes. Let's get on it reverse chronologically.

Day 3 i.e. today
not much being done yet, but this is the first day I can wake up at 10.50! and to think that last night I went to sleep at about 11pm here, so I got almost a 12-hour sleep. I like to think that I need this much sleep as previously my sleeps were scattered in couples of hours but I hope I won't need this much sleep in the future. Else I'm doomed.
Day 2.
the last thing that I did yesterday was knocking on other people's door and being knocked. Some guy ringing my bell looking for a bald, Chinese guy. Obviously wrong room number. But before that, I had a chat with other Indonesian student who also lives in the same international house, in the same floor. Unaware that I had been spent 2 hours inside my own room, I stepped out to his room with only a polo shirt on. Obviously not long after we're pretty much shivering from the cold. From our conversation, it can be concluded that there is one Japanese dish that is pretty much safe (that means halal) though I can't catch the name. Honestly, I'll put my concern more on other issues, as..
I already found out that the tap water is safe to drink. Thank god I didn't bought the bottled water. It was only on my way home from the supermarket that I realized that the lack of bottled water display are probably because of that. Nevertheless, I did some shopping for sustenance, bought several foods and more. However, what really baffled me is the sections that displays various items that I believe has something to do for cleaning. Problem is, I can't figure out what is for cleaning what. I set out to the supermarket with the idea that I needed soap, detergent and dish cleaning liquids. I didn't find the detergent, or at least, I can't read which one is the one saying it's detergent. None of the items displayed are in the form of powder just like Rinso or Attack we had back home. To say that I am baffled would be an understatement here.
On that day, I visited 3 different supermarket/convenience stores, mostly for food. I still thought that supermarket here should be more like in Indonesia, where there's also a section displaying pans and everything/ how am I supposed to cook instant noodles if I don't have any pans? I think I'll find some tomorrow.
I had the time to visit the supermarket because there was an item on the planning list that I haven't got to do: meeting with my professor. You see, from the morning I was already visiting offices: dorm offices, quick tour to what the dorm has, then to Uji city hall, registering for alien card and national health insurance, then to the main campus, registering to foreign student division and making an account in the post office. Boy, it's a lot of walk! I thought this would be a breeze, as I can tire my sister quite easily when we're walking a distance, but this time: dorm-eki, eki-city hall-eki, eki-campus-getting around campus-eki. I'll find out how many kilometers I have walked yesterday.
My biggest surprise happens in the campus: it turns out that I will have a desk! My first thought on that was “I am royally screwed! I am screwed in five different ways from Monday.” I mean, I don't even have any idea what I'm doing here. I thought that I would be able to buy time for 6 month, until the admission test, but no. Urgh. On top of all that, it will require me to actually make a social connection. Unlike Uphie, whose pride was wounded when I called him party pooper and thus able to make a conscious effort to change himself, it was different with me. Of course, I might found myself comfortable around them in the future, but well.
Day 1
on my first night, however, I thought that everything I have was impressive. My flight arrived 6pm, and after I cleared immigration, I was picked up by Mbak Kiki herself. The shared shuttle taxi has to be canceled as the delay was too long, so she decided to pick me up in Kansai Airport. From there we took trains to Uji, and I remembered that I felt I might be interested in pursuing doctorate here, when mbak kiki said that the scholarship can be automatically given if the scholarship recipient is capable. I'll have to cope with the workload first sih to make it that far.
My flight itself was uneventful, though when I watched The Hangover and The Taking of Pelham 123, I regretted why I didn't just watched The Hangover while I was in Jakarta and chose The Grudge 3 instead. It was hilarious! Nonetheless, it's was a good way to spend my time in the air.
Oh, I guess it's pretty clear by now that I should've done my registrations in Day 1, but because my flight was delayed for 9hours, I didn't get to do that. Instead, I got myself an interesting Day 0.
Day 0
It was the day I went from Bandung, went nearing 1pm, and it took us almost 5 hours to get to Cengkareng. My first pick was of course to just go by travel shuttle, but a relative of mine obviously has its own plan. Which involves getting lost for a while.
So I arrived at the airport all grimy and everything, but then when I checked myself in at SQ counter, the guy told me that my flight out of Singapore will be delayed. As it turns out, it was delayed, but then every passengers were given lodging in Grand Mercure Roxy. I couldn't be much happier! Great lodging, great breakfast in the morning after, and I was leaving to Changi in a much much better mood!

So that's how events pretty much transpired here. As of now, I am hoping I will be able to cope with the workload and actually able to communicate with others here. Wish me luck!
And if you're interested, pics of my room and surrounding, as well as the pics of the room at grand mercure are at http://my.opera,com/cormocodran/albums. Until then.

Assorted Finds #1

2009-09-02T14:14:00.000+09:00

One thing that I liked about ateneo australs was the fact that they played funny videos related to the debating topics before each heading was announced. It was the first for me to see that the fun in debating tournament can actually be shared by many. Apparently, I am not the only one impressed, as Uphie tried to replicate this in NEO (fail, multimedia not ready), and apparently in the last JOVED as well (wasn't there, can't comment much on it).

This trend was followed in this year's australs but IMO, the videos aren't as funny as last years'. Perhaps if I can spend some more time I'll list down (and actually embed) the videos from last year here. But in the meantime, I had too many idle times in my hand and actually come across several videos that made its impression on me. So here's two videos that I could've used for two headings:

Technology

Or, alternatively, you can just play Nellie McKay - Clonie for all to see (or listen).

----

Update:

I initally put down a video of college humor targeting Don't Ask Don't Tell policy for Sexuality-slash-Bigotry, but after yesterday's Grey's Anatomy, there was one awesome scene where Calliope Torres (Sara Ramirez) and his father throwing bible verses one to another. I mean, that was awesome! Uhm, and touching. You know, that's how I always imagined MTQ debate should be. I tried to find the video at YouTube, but can't find it. Perhaps later.

Merah Putih, Merantau, Cin(T)a

2009-08-28T12:24:00.000+09:00

August is nearing its end, and as befits the nationalism-laden month I watched three indonesian movies this month alone: Merah Putih, Merantau, and Cin(t)a. On theatres. Actually spending money.

Anyway, all in all, I think this is great. When I think about it, there's only a handful of Indonesian movies I watched in cinemas, most remarkable perhaps Gie, with Denias on close second. Jomblo was more weird than comedic--the book was better, and as for 3 Doa 3 Cinta, you can see here. I refused Laskar Pelangi (the book turned me off), and a quick glance of Oh Baby when it is aired on local TV confirms my suspicion: most of Indonesian movies are crap masquerading as arts.

But back on the three movies for this month, I can't quite decide which is better, Merah Putih or Cin(t)a. Both are not your usual movies seen in theatres. Merah Putih, set in early 50s (?or was it late 40s?) can be easily affiliated to Indonesia-vs-Dutch struggle. The actions scenes are decent, and the explosions was way above normal bar for local movies. Oh, and the bloods are also realistic--to some extent. Minor inconsistencies aside, it has a surprise for you: a plot! (gasp! oh? it's a trilogy? GASP!)

The conflicts revolves around Javanese smugness to people from other areas in Indonesia, boot camp, and so forth. Again, not your usual menu, yet it failed to keep me on the edge of my seat. I think what the movies lacking is a sense of purpose to engage the audience. Major portion of the movies revolves around the military training, but it didn't felt like there is any imminent threat. Pretty flat, that way. But at some point, BOOM! The movie suddenly shifts into war-mode. In retrospect, the first minutes or so did show a scene where Dutch troops killing locals, but it was soon forgotten. So here's its flaw for you: opening, build-up, and audience. Oh, and I failed to find it's comedic aspect that amusing.

On the other hand, there's cin(t)a. I think that a major reason why I am impressed with this movie is my initial low expectation. I first heard of this movie from Uphie, and did not even aware that this is even a movie. I looked it up at blitzmegaplex.com, and found that the description of the movie there is just gibberish. I barely understand anything written there, and give it a premature verdict of extreme-corniness. Yet then I was clueless on how to kill time, and when some of my friends suggested to watch cin(t)a, who am I to say no? They said some parts were shot in ITB, which also made me rather curious. (You get gerbang depan, stairs to Taman Hewan, and Arsitektur, as well as Perpus Pusat, I think).

So why am I impressed? For one, a lot of the shots are (to me) artistic. I also don't find the movie patronizing, the OST is impressive, and it's unexpectedly profound. I was expecting soppiness and it was there, alright. But not so much that it felt distracting (unlike the sinetron-esque scene involving Lurah in Merah Putih). It's the lead actress' husky voice that's distracting. That, and the subtitles.

It tackles on inter-religion relationship issue, the inevitable quest and comparison between religion, and this was exactly an additional point as I find the stance both daring and realistic. Inter-racial relationship, not so much (as it's less of a problem in our society anyway, contrary to what the title may suggest).

As it were, inter-religion relationship is there in our society, but no one really speak of it. I know couples who were in such situation and even in my family as well. But the operative word here is 'frowned'. Still, the subtle and not-so-subtle points are delivered well.

Now what about Merantau? I was lured by its action, and it did not disappoint when the action was on. Problem was, I spent most of the opening half waiting, thinking, "Actionnya manaaa?" When it's on, I was more 'finally', and even then at one point, the fight got meanwhiled. To be honest, it was not the most gripping fighting scenes (I think one of the best was in Bourne Supremacy, Jason Bourne fighting with pen), but as Astari pointed out, it takes years before Hong Kong movies got to where they are right now, so it's a heartening start. Another minus point, the plot is even more illogical at times (what with the bravado and all), lebai at most (the girl ndeprok inside a cargo container, whispering soft "tolong..."), and its duration is too long (150-ish minutes, compared to 70-ish minutes of cin(t)a). On the other hand, to me Christine Hakim do looked very motherly there.

If I am to give a rating, cin(t)a would be 7/10 because it's more profound, and I can't give it lower than 3 Doa 3 Cinta, with Merah Putih (6/10) and Merantau (5/10). So cin(t)a wins after all. I think the key here is my expectation, I had high expectation of Merah Putih and Merantau, but ridiculously low for Cin(t)a.

I think I should do another post on God (not necessarily in correlation with cin(t)a), or on our theatre audience (see Mearh Putih weakness above), but it'll have to wait. Next up should be some travel reports from Lombok trip. Can't say much about Singapore and Thailand.

And call it enough!

2009-07-15T19:05:00.000+09:00

You want blood?
Come here and take it!
It's fresh!
Still warm from the life that just left it.
The blood of my brother.
So take it!
Take his blood,
and call it enough.
If you need more, take mine.
Do it!

I surrender. Shoot me.
And call that enough.
Or can one of you come down here...
and show me your face?
Show me that you're more than tank, metal, and shell.
That you're human like we are.
That you breathe, that you bleed.
That you feel and feel pity.
That you live for more than our deaths.

Come.
Any of you who have lost a brother.
Come and tell me it's enough.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote from serial Kings S01E01.

Vietnam, not now.

2009-07-13T21:17:00.000+09:00

Around 2008 New Year, I went to Thailand—yet another debating competition. But it was, in a sense, my first international competition (let’s not talk NTU, and AUDC was in ITB). Anyway, what I regretted the most is my lack of planning. We went a day before the competition started, and left Thailand as soon as the competition was over. Only during the competition—and month afterwards I realized that this was a grave error, I could’ve extend my stay and explore Thailand, or like Tika and Sony, went to Vietnam. What I had in mind was only final test for Wave and Statistical Physics. Argh.

So another opportunity arose. As a reward of a pageant, ~~ITB~~ DIKTI actually has money for us to go visit Singapore and Thailand, visiting universities with higher rank than ITB. I was hopeful I will be able to spend a couple of days afterward for unplanned itinerary, perhaps even going to Babel or Vietnam!

But no such luck. Apparently ITB wanted us to be back in Bandung by August 11, for some hubbub on new students. Practically impossible to extend my stay there.

On the other hand, the writing I quoted here from Tika's note in Facebook made me hate the situation even more. Sigh. Perhaps some other day, in not-so-distant future *hoping

A Bay Trip (By Tika Anindya)

I've been writing about the Asian trip for a long time, but I never got around finishing it. Thought this may be an interesting review for some.

So now that we’ve swarmed around the Hanoi area, we started preparing for Ha Long Bay. We booked a trip for two to the receptionist in our hotel, who claimed she handles these sorts of bookings all the time, and the next day, we were conveniently picked up at 6 AM. Half the people in the car were Caucasians and the other half were Asians, and it was pretty obvious that all the Asians know each other. The Guide, a young Vietnamese girl, explained what the program looks like. We’ll mostly stay in the ship and sail around for two days. There will be cave explorations and kayaking, both of which I couldn’t imagine doing in this cold weather. I voiced this concern to Sony and he brushed it off, saying it’s too much fun to pass, and I didn’t think it was worth mentioning that I’m worried about sea sickness too. So after a couple of hours, we arrived at the pier, where about 20 large ships huddled tightly. All the ships were made to look old-fashioned, with wooden finish and, in some cases, dragon heads on the side. We climbed into our ship, which was much harder than it sounds, and made our way to the top, which was much more exciting than it sounds. All the ships have an open area at the top where they put some beach chairs for people to enjoy the view. It was a great convenience to enjoy that sort of 360-degree view, and I imagined it would be better if it wasn’t so darn cold.

Our ship looked almost like this, except without those awesome wing-like apparatus.

Anyway, as the ship sailed, our first agenda was lunch. The main part of the ship was set to be a dining room, with a large TV on the side. The bedrooms were downstairs, but we can only check in after lunch. The meal was the pleasant Vietnamese kind – meaning they don’t tell you how much more is coming, so you end up stuffing your face on one course only to find the next one brought out. The Asians, which we’ve now concluded is a large family, occupied a whole table and spent lunch talking in a language we don’t understand. Sony and I sat on the other table with the Caucasians, who did not talk very much. I had to ask the guide if anything was made of pork – after Sony incorrectly identified some pieces of fried meat as beef – but overall, the meal was very good.

Keys were then distributed. Given the number of people, Sony and I have assumed that we will have to stay in one room, which at that point didn’t really matter. The thing is, as we found out later, there was only one bed per room. It was large and obviously fits two very well, but still, it was one bed. We were also excited to see a bathroom in our room – an exclusive bathroom is a luxury we have not enjoyed ever since we left Assumption Uni – but baffled to find how transparent the bathroom door was. Clearly this is a room for newlyweds. You can see so much that one of us had to leave the room when the other was taking a shower. But since everyone else were either families, same-sex friends or couples, we know there’s not much point making a fuss about this, so we didn’t. The bed was fluffy white and the bathroom was clean. We’ve been through worse.

We sailed for about an hour and we observed the absolutely gorgeous scenery : blue-green water speckled with mounting rocks, mostly as high as a three-storey building. We saw some ladies rowing a couple of small boats around us, each of packed with snacks & drinks. It was literally a floating convenience store. One of the Caucasians jokingly shouted out for a Tiger beer. I contemplated buying a can of Pringles from them, just for the hell of it, and Sony noted how these people have probably carried around the same stock for months. I suppose he’s right.

They got a lot of these in Halong Bay. Sony wondered if the products are expired.

Then we arrive at the cave, which was interesting. It’s definitely one of the biggest cave I’ve ever been in, and the Guide Lady was trying to be funny by pointing out animal shapes in the rocks. There was a piece shaped like a big thumb “although the imaginative guys think it’s something else” and I remembered this part because this was where Sony received a call on his mobile. I thought it was very odd that he managed to get reception off the beaches of a foreign country – and in a cave – but he did.

At dinnertime back in the ship, the Guide announced that we were going to have a karaoke party. In fact they were going to bring our ship right next to another one and fasten it so we can move safely from one ship to another, generating more crowds for the party. We weren’t thrilled by the program, but really, neither of us wanted to suggest sleeping, given the shared bed, so we distracted ourselves by sending text messages to people back home. We sent good lucks to Dyota, who was preparing for his FES finals the next day. We vented to Onta, who thought being stranded in the middle of the ocean with 10 degrees’ weather and no sweater is “so cool, I’m jealous” and we thanked Ruli, who recommended Ha Long Bay to us in the first place. Then we slept.

The next day's main attraction was kayaking! At breakfast the guide told us a lot of people are backing out because of the weather. We, on the other hand, were getting really excited, having concluded that it must be several degrees warmer than Hanoi, a fact worth celebrating. We stopped by a small pier, with a small cafe and a place for fishermen to keep their day’s catch. They gave us lifejackets, a pair of rows and pointed to where the kayaks are floating freely, and wished us luck.
Now, I’ve never tried kayaking before, and I expected it to be very unstable (hence the lifejacket). It’s actually very stable, even with me and Sony practicing our asynchronous rowing. Over the journey I couldn’t get over the gorgeous water – almost static-calm and the light green is nearly opaque, it felt like you’re looking at a vast tub of jelly – and now as it’s all around me, the fascination is heightened. I had to resist the urge to dip in. Not only were we now very close to the water, we were very close to the mountains of rocks. Like I said, they were very tall but very narrow, and we were able to circle around a few. Some of these “rocks” are large enough to be called a small island, with flat surface to stand on and such. The rocks are so tall, they’re like isolated pieces of a small hill, scattered in the water.

There was one particular rock with an enticing hole on its bottom, which we hovered around, hoping to see an awesome hidden cave or something. We explored the hollowed area and found out we couldn’t fit the way in, then we tried exiting and found out we couldn’t fit the way out. We spent a couple of seconds laughing, then panicking, then pushing our rows against the surface to propel us away from the rock. Obviously we were eventually released, although I later pondered what would have happened if we remained stuck. I suppose trying to stick yourself into a rock in the middle of the sea, with nobody near enough to hear you scream, is not something particularly intelligent. It's just that the whole view made you feel like you had to touch the rocks, just to see what it’s like, as if you’ve never seen a mold-covered rock before. Needless to say, I found the whole experience amazing.

Coin A Chance

2009-07-09T12:39:00.000+09:00

I was wondering if there's a drop zone for coin a chance in Bandung. Apparently, no luck.

Perhaps later, someday, if there is a coin collection day in Bandung. If I'm still in Bandung, that is.

It rains on the just and unjust alike -- Rorschach

2009-07-09T10:32:00.000+09:00

So two days ago was my first day back in Bandung!

Not that there's anything particularly interesting, mind you. But I ended up watching superheroes movies in the night. Masked avenger, if you will.

Although Garfield Pet Force may not be my usual diet of masked avenger, it was first, then Justice League - The New Frontier and Watchmen. I have watched the latter two previously, but both is just quotable. I wouldn't even mind watching Watchmen again if it actually screened at the theaters in Bandung.

A few days ago, I wrote in one online forum in itb that there's something that I don't like from Watchmen's ending. Too hasty, and not as profound as the rest of the movie, or at least so I thought, relying on the first impression from the first time I watched the movie in Jogja. What I forgot was that it was completely biased: I was hungry, no dinner before and shivering under the blasting air conditioner. I am how happily say that I stand corrected. It was as good as it gets.

Mundane, I know, but then again, what is this blog but to sate my self indulgence? Eheh.

When the future is set

2009-06-25T13:36:00.000+09:00

I am now certain.
That I will waste some 300K away.

I initially thought that I'd rather err on the side of caution; that even when I don't know if I wanted to go to japan, I'd rather not be a helpless tourist there. Hence the language course.

Only after I paid the down payment, 300K, I notice that i will most likely waste the money away. the course is in 3 hours a week, for 12 weeks. and I'll be gone by half of the course.

But I have had history of burning money on courses I don't attend anyway, so it won't be something new. Sadly.

The Perfect Day

2009-05-29T15:35:00.000+09:00

Last week, Friday the 22nd, is one of the best day I ever had.

1. my train arrived on time in Klaten. and I just realized that one of the best moment everytime I am going home is the journey from train station to home. Paddy fields, dawn just breaking, clouds in the sky, fresh air from last night rain, unmistakable aroma of grass, morning chill with a warm sweater. Seriously, what else can you wish for a new day?

2. Ga jadi berurusan sama calo.
My passport is about to expire, and reading isman's guide for making passport, I wish my experience won't be that bad. 5 years ago, I had to resort to calo so that the passport will be ready in a day. but when I confirmed my query to the officer at immigration office Surakarta, he said I can make a new one in Bandung. So, the matter now not really pressing, I can relax.

3. Arrived home back at 1 pm, I miraculously escape a tedious meeting that is supposed to be laded with pleasantries. Man, I guess my uncle should stop impose his love relationship ideals to his nephews and nieces. But the meeting did not take place. so HUAHAHAHAHAHA there.

4. Took nap until 3, then getting ready to go to jogja. first stop: stasiun Klaten. found out there that Lodaya ticket for sunday night is sold out. no biggie, I can make a query at stasiun tugu. and it was not rain on the way, just a drop here and there, and I was dry again in 2 minutes.

5. Took a queue number: 796. number just called: 756. But when I was filling the form, somebody gave me his queue number, don't know why. his was 766. Marvellous, I'm on a roll here!

5. Lodaya is sold out, but there's mutiara selatan, departing only 10 minutes after lodaya. I'll take that.
But upon further inspection, the clerk gave me a seat numbered with 3A. no-no-no-no-no-no! but when I asked her if I can change seat, she did it and change my seat to 8B. Rarely i am so happy purchasing a ticket.

6. upon my exit from the ticket reservation center, I decided to walk to malioboro, it's close anyway. when I reached malioboro mall I decided I should get some water, so I went to Hero. And there I was offered a free beng-beng! Aduh mbak-mbaknya baik. But I guess she's being paid for it. but still, a free item that I actually enjoy.

7. And there's periplus just outside Hero. Have been awhile. did not actually have any plan to buy any books, but I found some are put on special price. ended up spending 65K for two books (Stephen White - Kill Me, and Diane - A Breath of Snow and Ashes). Thick books! somebody please slap me if you happen to accompany me at a bookstore. I still have daendels-pram, sang aktris, and sum of all fears laying around forgotten in my room, and I buy two more books? I just can't resist.

8. I almost got lost in jogja, my disorientation not helping to find my way to XXI from malioboro, but I made it in time! and finally, Watchmen. shame on you, theatres in bandung! 160 minutes later, we got out of the theatres hungry (all 4 of us) and happily happy from watching the movie (I guess it's just me of all 4). It definitely meets my expectation of the complex plot and the depth reviewed in many blog I read. and the BLOOD! the special effect! I got hooked the minute the opening credit started.

9. we ate at this seafood place that seems to be located close to sanatadharma. I might be wrong, but the cumi hot plate is good. yummy! mouth-watering yummy. delicious! Scrumptious! Mmmmm.

10. and best of all, I got home just a few minutes after 10 pm, and still dry! all is well for a day. And I have written all that, should be something to remember when I feels down.

Eh, kelupaan satu: pas keluar dari bioskop, dibilang ganteng! AHAHAHAHA. sama danti sih, tapinya trus cindy juga bilang "agak bersihan kamu mas," The number speaks. how can it not be objective. and there's no single reference to my sandal swallow. this was as good as it gets.

Books, Fair Books

2009-05-08T15:28:00.000+09:00

I shared pretty much the same sentiment with Ella on Kompas Gramedia Fair, which was concluded last Sunday. Unlike Ella though, my excitement was created by two stand south of BIP and the pile of financial liberation and entrepreneurship: penerbit buku Kompas.

Though i only visited the fair at friday, it was IDR33K well spent: I bought four books. three of them are short stories antology (Iblis Ngambek, Kembali Ke Pangkal Jalan, and Sang Aktris), and one Pramoedya's book on Daendels. I meant to buy benny&mice's 100 tokoh and/or Pramoedya's Gadis Pantai, but as I don't bring enough money, the cheaper one will have to do.

The best thing was that the short stories antologies was extremely cheap. Tagged at IDR 5000, the price is still subject to 20% discount. I wouldn't dare to imagine the feeling of the writers, though. Hard work, sweat and blood, all equal to mere 50 sheets of empty papers. But I enjoy reading those (although I have yet to start reading Sang Aktris).

I also see N Riantiarno's book tagged at IDR8000, while only two weeks before that I bought the same book for IDR 18000 at Gramedia Ambarrukmo Plaza. Oh well. It was discounted 50 % already.

On a completely unrelated note, I thought I saw Liza tending the stand with the snake-and-ladder for kids when I visited the fair. but with my myopic sight, I didn't know for sure (was it really you?). And I feel a pang of guilt, as I have ignored SMSes from Persma for quite awhile now. But I sincerely wish them well.

Everything we are, is everything we fear

2009-05-07T15:27:00.000+09:00

"Everything we are, is everything we fear"
--Earlimart, The Little Things

The title above is a quote from The Little Things' lyrics. I guess it's also the little things that made me put their song on heavy rotation in my phone.

The first time I listen to Earlimart was when I listen to Nevermind The Phone Calls, on Kyle XY The Soundtrack. Then I downloaded the Hymn and Her album. Then some tracks from Mentor Tormentor. Then the whole album. Then weeds out google search result for other tracks.

From the reviews of H&H, it was mentioned that they plan to release an album every year, unless they don't want to. I certainly wished for a new album coming soon, but there hasn't been any announcement, not even on their website.

Now if only their previous (and future) materials are accessible from here..

HBSITB

2009-05-06T15:26:00.000+09:00

I basically talked BS on the ITB honor student selection. Talking about hoax. God knows why I don't just review Knowing as my submission.

Not really sure if I will be able to break my Final jinx, though.

Not exactly my finest hour,

2009-04-26T01:56:00.000+09:00

but in two days I got to add two more lines in my CV: one first best speaker in ALSA UI EComp, and one Honor Student for FMIPA ITB. Impressive, huh? I just wished I can say the same with my final project.

It come a bit late, for now I am already weary, this earthly things is of little matter. But let's not be ungrateful. More task, more arduous road ahead!

Books and Books

2009-03-30T14:49:00.000+09:00

I do not have a book shelf. This is why since the last time I cleaned up my room, I just put my books in piles, here and there. There are two different set of piles, though: books I generally enjoy to see laying in my room, and those that I don’t. On the left is the towering pile of the first category, and basically the attention grabber on my desk.

It turns out that putting your book in a pile has its own disadvantages: just two days ago, the whole pile crumbled down. No casualties, though. And afterwards, I put it back again in a towering pile, now seen on the left pic. Only this time I made sure that heaviest books is in the bottom of the tier: hence the Almanac etc.

But every book--or item--has a story. Bottom up: The Time Almanac, plaque from adjudicating ITB expo, Pandu's DVD: Cosmos by Carl Sagan, Arthur Phillips-Egyptologist, The Dilbert Principle, Tom Clancy-Sum of all Fears, Michael Frayn-Spies, Shakespeare-Much Ado About Nothing, Lindqvist-Let the Right One In, Richard Morgan-Altered Carbon, Pramoedya-Rumah Kaca, Budiman Hakim-Ngobrolin Iklan Yuk, Stephen Fry-Revenge, Kumpulan Cerpen Kompas 2007, Arswendo-Dewi Kawi, YB Mangunwijaya-Pohon Sesawi, Norman's Stiglitz-Globalization and Its Discontent, ARRR Robert-The Va Dinci Cod,Trust By Danone Notebook, Dino Patti Djalal-Harus Bisa, Michael Crichton-State of Fear, Swofford-Jarhead. The movie ticket was tickets for Valkyrie, when SEF ITB contingent watch it during NEO.

The almanac was bought in reading light, heavily discounted: only IDR 50.000, as I bought it in 2007, while it was actually a 2005 almanac. But it has proven time and again useful, particularly in Worlds (see the token on the right side?) and NEO.

Egyptologist, Jarhead, Let the Right One in, were bought in Reading Light, though I feel the most impressive ones is Egyptologist: It's tedious, but when you persevere, you will be rewarded at the end of the plot. Kinda like Musashi, but with less pages. I finished it just days before Ateneo Australs, and during my stay in Manila, I indulge myself in book shopping spree: Frayn, Fry, Morgan, and 4 more.

Personally, I like Revenge the most out of all books that I bought. The story was so powerful that it left me pondering for days after. I also find myself replaying scenes after scenes from the book in my head in the next couples of days. Which is surprising, because I have read the Count of Monte Cristo before, and Revenge is basically an adaptation of it. I most definitely recommend it, that's five stars out of five possible for you.

Of all the books, I haven't finished the Clancy book and Lidqvist one. But if any of you want to borrow any of the book, be my guest. On second thought, not the Stiglitz one, that one is not mine and I should've returned it a long time ago. Sorry, Norm. Hopefully more book review coming along soon.

Weekends away from Bandung

2009-03-05T10:41:00.000+09:00

Apology for the lack of update [1]. But only now I have proof that there's only so many travelling human body--my body--can take. During the last month or so, I have spent a significant time on the road, with only last weekend I actually spend my weekends in Bandung.

The weekend before that, I was a substitute debater, joining a team with Dito, but not this Dito[2], to go to Binus for National-wide English Olympics (NEO). The fact that Binus has more than one campus successfully confused us in the first day. But the long daily commute for 4 days was definitely paid off: 2nd runner up, all only with minimum practice (twice). I get to be in a grand final again, although the other team from ITB proved their superiority [3]. At least I am enjoying my own speech in the final. Too bad there wasn’t any grand final best speaker award to feed my ego. I think I should write more about this in an official avenue.

The week before NEO, i barely spend some time in Bandung, as by Wednesday I already packed my bag to Jakarta, and in Friday I flew to Jogja for Trust by Danone Country final. This was a bit surprising; as I actually enjoy working together with my teammates without having to exert any authority at all. We ended up being the 1st runner up, and went home with mixed feelings, as if only we got through during the judges deliberation, the prize of being country champion is to go to international final at Paris. But considering even without Paris my thesis is abandoned, I don't think that Paris is such a good idea after all.

What's fun after Trust (aside from the complimentary massage in Melia Purosani) is that I get to go home before I go to Bandung, not really expecting anything and get a little get together with Danti-Cindy-Arry in--where else?--Amplaz Jogja. Got a bright orange polo shirt, too. Heheh. And burnt my tongue trying to swallow a takoyaki wholly.

The week before Trust country final, I was away from Bandung since Wednesday also, to adjudicate at 2nd Festival Ekonomi Syariah at JCC. Who knew that Jakarta can be so cold? The blasting air conditioner in the halls, lounges, chambers, and corridors were simply devilish. ITB team only got 3rd runner up, which was rather disappointing. But on Saturday evening after the event were concluded I was able to run--not literally--to Hotel Borobudur. I did miss the session with Dian Sastro for Workshop II Youth Leadership Indonesia [4]. But from the biased review of some that I heard, all of them--girls, perhaps out of feeling of inadequacy, heheh--feels that the session with the guy from BRR--what's his name--was far more inspiring. I can't agree more (that the session with the guy from BRR is truly inspiring, not necessarily the Dian Sastro part, mind you).

The weekend before FES-McKinsey's workshop, I also spent my weekend in Jakarta, for Trust Day. A week after Trust Day, every time somebody asked/reminded/cheered me for the result, I always get a painful and throbbing headache. So I guess that was the price of a novel experience, participating in a business game. But as you've read two paragraphs above, my team was in the top 6 and we get to the country final.

The weekend before trust day, I spent my time exhausted at Klaten after a week long IVED. I actually had been in Klaten and been going back and forth Klaten-UMY since January 17th, so that gives you another 2 weekends away from Bandung. Actually, make it 3 weekends, as the week before I believe I had meetings in Citos with other members of IVED A-core. IVED itself was bittersweet, as Tirza puts it appropriately. It was off with an ill start--my ranting on the issues, is of course mostly happened in private with SEF ITB gossipmongers--went better a couple of days after: ITB team broke quite high, and ITB was granted the right to host next year's IVED--and reach the anticlimax; ITB was defeated at octo, Semifinal was awful, and Grand final was dim and sloppy--in more than one sense. But it was my first time going inside Vredeburg, so it was still something.

So there you have it, 7 back to back to back to back weekends away from Bandung. The result was that during my time at NEO, I feel constant nausea, and had to run to the bathroom for feeling really sick in more than one occasion. So I guess the moral of the story is aside that most of the travels are fun, hanging out with different crowds week after week, I don’t really know what the moral is.

Oh wait: there is one; I think I need to break my grand final jinx: four grand finals and no win? Something is just not right. And I should be writing my thesis now.

--
[1] Now that I have four readers[*] I surely am able to justify my illusion of having audience for this mundane blog. Ha!
[2] They has a same template, though. Same high school alma mater, even. And a number of facial similarities. Unlike yours truly.
[3] I'll admit, mixed feeling here. Not to mention feeling really-really old.
[4] Yes, I know, judging from the name it's not exactly the event you thought I'd attend, no? But how can I resist free buffet meals? And the breakfast was simply put, satisfactory. Mmmm, blueberry yogurts..
[*] Please do not mind the gender confusion.

3 Doa 3 Cinta

2009-01-08T16:23:00.000+09:00

Ujian TRK? Gagal total. Jadilah habis itu saya maraton nonton 3 Doa 3 Cinta dan Bedtime Stories di Ciwalk 21 dan XXI. Saya review 3 Doa 3 Cinta aja deh, yang pertamanya tertarik karena rekomendasi Farah. Film ini paling lama juga seminggu lagi hilang dari bioskop, wong kemarin saya nonton jam 5 aja satu studio cuma ada sekitar 15 orang..

3 Doa 3 Cinta (3/5)
Salah satu film Indonesia yang layak tonton. Meski tidak benar-benar memukau, paling tidak setelah menontonnya anda tidak ingin membunuh Titie Said yang meloloskan film-film kacrut indonesia seperti Oh Baby. Sayangnya, meski dengan suasana segar, karena nampaknya belum ada film Indonesia lainnya yang berlatarkan pesantren sejauh yang saya tahu, kekurangan film ini lumayan banyak juga.
Utamanya adalah alurnya terlalu dangkal, mungkin karena terlalu banyak yang ingin disampaikan: mulai dari persahabatan, suasana pesantren yang ketat, Huda yang nyari ibunya (dan ternyata ibunya adalah penjaja seks), Rian yang ibunya mau kawin lagi, Sahid yang bapaknya sakit-sakitan dan sempat terpengaruh aliran garis keras yang merekrut orang-orang untuk aksi terorisme. Harusnya mungkin fokus salah satu saja sih, tapi ya bagaimana lagi. Bahkan dengan sedabreg hal yang mau disampaikan, 114 menit tetap terasa lama.

Yang paling kocak dari film ini jelas scene Huda merekam Dona buat video casting. Kapan lagi kita liat Dian Sastro pose cicak? Selain itu, ada juga Nicolas Saputra yang istigfar habis dicium. Sambil tutup mata pula istigfarnya.

Harusnya film ini saya rating 2.5/5, tapi karena ada ~~Dona Satelit~~ Mbak Dian joget kayang, boleh lah naik jadi 3/5.

rambling#4: Skeptisisme, Sinisme dan Gigit-menggigit

2009-01-04T11:50:00.001+09:00

Saya barusan berpikir, bagaimana kita bisa mencegah skeptisisme menjadi sinisme?

--
Kemarin, saya baru membaca satu tulisan bagus yang menghubungkan Scooby Doo, Skeptisisme, dan Vampir. Di salah satu bagiannya disebutkan tentang ~~Fred dan Velma~~ bagaimana rasa skeptis bisa membuka tabir apa yang sepintas lalu bisa langsung disebut ulah makhluk gaib.

Beberapa jam sebelumnya, saya meramban jejaring jagad maya, dan melihat-lihat situs milik BCG. Di situ, di salah satu halamannya menyebutkan rasa ingintahu, ambisi, dan kreativitas sebagai sesuatu yang penting dimiliki.

Dan entah bagaimana, waktu malamnya saya nongkrong sambil jongkok*, tiba-tiba kedua yang nampaknya tidak berhubungan itu jadi klik dan nyambung (sembari menimbulkan pertanyaan-pertanyaan baru*). Salah satunya, saya jadi merasa kalau rasa ingin tahu itu adalah suatu yang berhubungan erat sekali dengan skeptisisme yang sempat saya singgung di atas. Sempat terpikir, rasa ingin tahu yang menyebabkan sikap skeptis itu. Kira-kira seperti "Apa ada vampir yang menggigit untuk menjual jasa tindik (dan tattoo)?"**

Karena dari rasa ingin tahu, kita lalu mencari tahu lebih banyak informasi yang berkaitan dengan subyek itu. lebih banyak informasi berarti kita bisa memutuskan sendiri mana yang benar dan mana yang salah. Tentu saja prinsip cukuran Occam lalu menjadi sangat berguna. Idealnya, hal ini akan menghasilkan keputusan yang baik, berdasar pada fakta dan bermanfaat.

Tapi kembali ke pertanyaan pertama saya, yang membuat saya bingung adalah saya sendiri sering bersikap skeptis, dan sinis***, tapi sudah sangat lama saya tidak merasakan gemuruh rasa ingin tahu. Opsi kesimpulan yang bisa ditarik dari sini diantaranya adalah:
1. ada yang salah dengan klausa bahwa rasa ingin tahu adalah basis sikap skeptis.
2. saya salah, dan sudah gila karena ga ada kerjaan mikirin hal begituan sementara besok UAS relativitas khusus.
3. (1) & (2) benar.
4. pertanyaan tidak berhubungan dengan kesimpulan.

Kesimpulan yang manapun yang benar, saya rasa saya tidak tahu jawaban pertanyaan yang saya ajukan ke diri saya sendiri. Dan khusus untuk saya sendiri, pertanyaannya bisa ditambahi menjadi bagaimana membalikkan arus sinisme kembali ke arah skeptisme yang sehat, penuh rasa ingin tahu****.

For my own's sake.

----
*tapi bukan pertanyaan yang berkaitan dengan apa yang barusan saya makan. atau bagaimana tekstur, volume dan warnanya.
**dengan tagline iklan: "Gigitan Terpercaya Sejak 1576" atau "Gratis Gigitan Pertama (Dan Tiap Kunjungan Kelima)," atau "Melayani Pola Etnik dan Tribal."
***menurut saya, skeptis: tidak percaya begitu saja dan menelan mentah mentah, tapi terbuka pada tawaran solusi, namun tidak percaya begitu saja menelan mentah-mentah solusi yang ditawarkan (yes, my explanation is circular).
sinis: skeptis negatif, tidak percaya bahwa semua solusi yang ada bisa bekerja
****Menerima segala macam sugesti yang bisa anda tawarkan.

+saya baru sadar bahwa dengan intonasi berbeda, kalimat tanya "Apa ada vampir yang menggigit untuk menjual jasa tindik (dan tattoo)?" ini bisa dipakai oleh dua orang yang berbeda sama sekali: anak-anak polos (untuk menunjukkan antusiasme, intonasi naik dari awal ke akhir)++ dan tukang tatoo yang barusan sadar kalo dia punya saingan (intonasi turun, dari awal ke akhir, atau ganti pakai tanda seru, bisa sambil mengayun-ngayunkan belati).
++saya terbayang Milhouse van Houten, atau cewe-cewe yang terkena wabah Edward Cullen-mania.

Altered Carbon - Richard Morgan

2009-01-04T11:43:00.000+09:00

Sometimes after getting to the final one-sixth part of the book, suddenly I feel to myself that had I been seeing its movie adaptation first, chances are I would just dismiss it as another Creepies: Attack on Tresure Islands.

Why? Because, out of the blue, there was a fight simply for the sake of fight. And some of the narration would be hard to be reproduced on screen. Surely the actors won't live up to my imagination. Take the following excerpt for example:

I turned to look her in the eye.
"Yes. I know."
Her mouth clamped down on a tremor.
"Good. Then let's do it."
[page 350, Kovacs talking to Eliott]

For all I know, I might misread the expression as a constipated look. But maybe that's because my overexposure with sinetron while I'm home for Christmas holiday. Hours of watching incompetent so-proclaimed actresses may tend to give you just that.

But overall, I think that Altered Carbon is a good read. the imagination of the future being so realistic, you can't help but ponders if our civilization will take the same path. There's also bits of wits that is simply amusing. Now all I have to do is find someone to make me a tee with the saying of You have the right to remain silent. Why don't you try it jst for a while?

Oh, mind you, there's also plenty of sex scenes and nudity. Well, it's part of the plot anyway, to bring a Meth in charge of a whorehouse down. With a bang. Without proper directing and substandard acting of its casts, all the more it will seems seedy to me. By the way, the film right for this book has been bought by Joel Silver.

So here's hoping for a good movie adaptation, for a book I rate (3/5).
--
Click here to see wikipedia page for altered carbon

Tribute - Entry#1

2008-12-22T17:06:00.000+09:00

I always feel that supporting women's right is a good cause. Women certainly has a unique position in our society, and while labelled with physical weakness, in general I think they are not weak.

I always admire my mom, not least that she is capable to support all three of her children by herself until today. For twelve years has passed since our family weep in his death. In my eyes, she reflects a strong figure, and I belive that there are a lot of women like her in far more unfortunate situations in various corners of the world, trying to make ends meet for their family.

I always wondered what's on their mind, how much have they earn for the night, what did their children and family feel when I see women on the street selling various goods. Most importantly, I wondered if they can provide enough for their family. It was almost 4 years ago that I first see women selling roses at Dago during the night. And I still feel the exact same way everytime I encounter them, riding past them on my bike.

I always feel weak whenever I'm around them, realizing that there is little help that I can do for them. So I pray. For the best of them. And for my mother.

Apa iya ini caranya memimpin?

2008-12-19T17:02:00.000+09:00

Contoh Kasus B: Acara yang melibatkan pelantikan bertradisi. Di suasana dingin tangkuban perahu, c. 2006.

Kecapekan mengejar-ngejar pembicara agar berpartisipasi di rangkaian workshop pelatihan selama lebih dari dua bulan. Berputar-putar Bandung, berbagai macam panggilan telepon. Dan kegiatan kami adalah bagian penting dari organisasi yang dipimpin lelaki itu. Empat huruf nama depan. Empat huruf nama tengah. Diawali dengan huruf A.

Tapi semua berjalan lancar. Hingga datanglah puncak rangkaian acara.

Dan kami mengundang para alumni. Sayangnya salah satunya tak puas. Kamipun paham mengapa.

"Coba, yang di situ namanya siapa?" tanyanya sembari merujuk kepadaku.
"Emmm, ~~Mateo~~ Maleo?" salah satu dari mereka mencoba, dengan sia-sia untuk menjawab.

Dan dia pun murka. "Mereka belum belajar apa-apa! Apa iya pantas kita terima?"
Sang pemuka dengan huruf pemuka yang membuka itupun tiba-tiba berganti haluan, "Ya sudah, kita jangan lantik saja mereka sekarang."

Apa iya, di tengah-tengah acara yang kami harapkan jadi acara pamungkas hingga kami akhirnya bisa istirahat dia seenaknya memerintahkan agar kami menderita lebih lama? Tak hanya Ia tak pernah terlibat, namun ucapannya itu juga membuyarkan semua acara yang telah disusun dengan susah payah. Di tengah acara. Tidak memberikan dukungan. Para anggota yang letih. Apa iya ini cara memimpin yang baik?

Adu mulut tak terelakkan. Saya rasa Ibu Hijau ini masih ingat. Dan meski akhirnya acara bisa selesai, kami tak pernah lagi melihatnya dengan cara yang sama.

Certainly this is not the way to lead?

2008-12-18T16:26:00.000+09:00

Exhibit A: The case with a Heroes-like poster for the event.

Time: Some half a year D-Day.
"I now delegate the power to you to conduct the following events for your division: sun observation, night observation, and a general lecture. All targeted for general public. And with a telescope training for our new members. You have full liberty to conduct the events on the available timeline, and I assure you I'll do my best to assist," so he says,* as the man of the highest power.

Time: Two weeks D-Day.
"I think we should borrow a room at Campus Center, as it would be very easy to grab people's attention. Can you do the administration needed for that?" then she politely asked me. After all, being a superior in this organization did not put her all the way above her equals. She needed me and a lot more people.

Time: A week before D-Day.
"You know, I think it's too much hassles to borrow the room there. let's just use the big one in our department. Definitely easier. I'll ask for the paperwork."
I agreed with her. Not really motivated.

Time: Day D-2
Then I said: "Here's the poster design you asked. Hope it's not too bad."
But she beamed excitedly, "This is good. What do you guys think about it?" She continues to ask the nearest group of people.

Time: D-Day, 0900
"Can you come over a.s.a.p. and bring your laptop with you? We had a glitch here, mine won't relay the sound, his won't connect to the projector."
She sounded urgent, and I understood the urgency. I am, after all, a part of this wobbly committee. That and I plan to attend an information session at campus anyway.

Time: D-Day, 1130
Me and her already in the campus auditorium, a different event altogether. Envying the thrown chocolate bars by people from McKinsey. Suddenly her handphone buzzed. It was a message from him, all power and wish-wash.
"Where are you? People are now dispersing. No chain of command. Did you really think you were capable of handling the event? If you weren't, maybe you shouldn't have hold the event today after all."
She was silent. Then she gather her act fast. But I can feel that the message is a certain buzz-kill. It came during the event. From a superior. Not a support during harsh times. And what good really did he hoped to come from the message?

Time: post-event, 2030
Over donuts and coffee and sodas and ice creams, we debase. A somewhat larger group of people has join us. Complaining behind their back. Venting off after an exhausting day. And it was all.
But tomorrow will never be the same.

--
*Diction, language, tone, and manner of speaking may not be accurate. This dialogue, and all dialogue hereafter, although put under direct quotation, served only to describe the chains of events. But you should've gotten that by now. This is, after all, a mere blog.