You can only go further away

"Remember when you read him out loud the writing on the cheap book?"
"'To be number one'? Yeah, how can I forget that? I insisted that 'one' is read as ow-nay, I was reading that using Indonesian reading key,"
"Well, you are Indonesian. A six-year old one. There was no reason to assume the phrase wasn't Indonesian,"
"Yeah, but I insisted I was right, despite him telling me that it's English, it isn't read that way, and the correct pronunciation was 'one',"
"Well, you were six years old,"

...

"Do you think he had a good command of English?"
"I think so. I mean, he certainly knew how to read 'to be number one' correctly."
"Yeah,"
"Yeah, that he did."

...

"You know, if soul is eternal, and now some 15-odd years after his death he stumbled upon this blog, do you think he'd be able to understand most of the things I write?"
"That, I'm not sure of."
"Me neither. I don't think he owned any non fiction book in English, yeah?"
"Yeah, but there were plenty of that in Arabic."
"True. I imagine his Arabic is excellent--maybe if he had visited Mecca he'd be able to converse with the local"
"That would be seriously cool. Arabic is one of the hardest language to learn, right?"
"Yeah, right there with Chinese and Japanese, I think."
"I always think of Arabic like German, with different word for feminine use and masculine use and what have you..."
"With different alphabet to boot,"
"Maybe it's more like Russian then, but instead of cyrillic alphabet you have Arabic alphabet,"
"And you write it right to left,"

...

"I remember that one time he bought a new Quran. And he read it from beginning to end to see if the publisher had made any error,"
"Oh yeah he did,"
"Did he find any error then?"
"I honestly had no idea. Maybe he did, but there's little chance the bookstore would accept his return, wouldn't they?"
"Very small chance."

...

"I wonder if he would have kept a journal in Arabic,"
"Much like you keep yours in English, you mean?"
"Yeah, something like that,"
"I think that would pretty much grant it secrecy from everyone else in the house,"
"Yeah, even now that his children are all grown up,"
"And none of us understand arabic!"
"Best that I know of Arabic is that 'wa' means 'and',"
"Doesn't give you much, does it?"
"No, it doesn't"

...

"If he had kept a journal, I wonder what would he have written on it,"
"Much like any other people's journal, I suppose. His musings or his observations--or maybe even his hopes for future you!"
"That's a little bit scary I think,"
"You fear they won't match, aren't you?"
"I don't fear so--I believe so."
"Shame."

...

"I'm actually more interested in his thoughts, in his half-coherent written rambling that he might have written in his journal."
"You're trying to look for similarities?"
"I--maybe I am. If only to find out if as my sister suspects, that we're so very different. I'm curious if the thought process would have any resemblance."
"Same process, with different results,"
"With different results,"
"You going left, your dad going right,"
"Left, and right."

...

"Does it make you sad? Going on an apparently different direction?"
"A little. But there's more to it."
"What is it?"
"It's like what Clock Opera sings, 'You can only go further away',"
"'Like it or not, you'll change',"
"'And you know you can only go further away',"

 Once and For All (Live @ Maida Vale) by clockopera
...

"They do make some seriously good tunes, that, Belongings, Let Go Of The Life Boats,"
"I know,"
"But this one is so you, the doubt, the wistfulness,"
"I know,"
"All we need now is the resolution,"
"I'll need a moment for that,"
"I know."