Saturday, June 30, 2012

Useless Traveling Tips: Palembang

Burial shrouds can be found along Jl. Letkol Iskandar. Handy if you know you'll be menyolatkan your traveling buddy. Be aware that they do not open 24/7.

While you may get tempted to get intoxicated in a bid to dull down frustration dealing with clueless Blue Bird taxi drivers, the stalls at Pasar Kuliner along the Musi River sells nothing of the sort. On the other hand, there are plenty of impotent half assed banners proscribing the use of drugs and narcotics everywhere. I wonder if the stock picture they use—a man wearing dress shirt and ties behind (not very visible) bars—might have had the adverse effect than what is intended. After all, having a job that requires you to wear ties is very plausibly a living most Indonesians aspire.

A possibly fun activity to do in Palembang is to get an exorcism set before going rounds to exorcise any establishment that displays a huge picture of a very pitiful old man ("Haji Abdul Razak") in front of their stores. Bonus point if you can elude capture from local police force afterwards, or failing that, convince them that you are a messiah/descendant of the haji himself/great prophet or that you have been foretold that the apocalypse is coming in three more minutes so your captors best to repent NOW! THE END IS NIGH FOR GOD'S SAKE!

If they do jail you (Sorry!) might as well network* in there and ask around if Palembang actually does have a night life. With all the warnings they give to tourist not to walk around during night time it's possible that Palembang might actually have the best-kept secret night life (or it might not).

A baptism with full immersion in Musi River is NOT recommended. Same goes with the fountain in front of the Masjid Agung.

The Balaputradewa Museum is the place to be if you wish to see a Yugioh card having the same standing with proper bank notes. Just go ahead to permanent exhibit hall number three and check out their exhibits of local currencies used during the Dutch and the Japanese occupation era. Upon seeing a Yugioh card nestled among old bank notes, marvel at how this is a definite proof that time-travel is possible. Sure, you can always use Occam's razor and blame it on the absent museum officers and bored adolescent visitors, but I think my time-traveler theory do hold some water.

Come at night time to Pasar Kuliner Sungai Musi to see how neatly they can shackle the unused chairs to the table when all the shops are closed.

As always, handing Town's Most Fragrant Vagrant of the Year award is a rather dangerous and unpleasant endeavor. But if you must, most of the unqualified nominees loiter around Jl. Jenderal Soedirman.

(I mean, honestly, my Palembang experience was fun and all but Cindy and I didn't really do anything novel: pempek, going to a wedding, es kacang, mi celor, martabak har. Bonus alliteration: Cindy beli Pempek Candy lewat pasar Cinde).

* it was with considerable difficulty that I succeed in plugging the term "touching base" for this sentence.

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